Tie up to the social fear movie emperor

Luo Xiao said that there was nothing too unique about his "childhood".

Not what Fan Xiaoyu thought, what kind of domestic violence, puppy love, bullying, abortion - it seems that he can't experience this...

In front of that ancient piano, Luo Xiao narrated his own story.

"I knew from a very young age that I didn't deserve to be in this world. My father didn't want me, my mother hated me, and all the relatives I knew thought I was a cancer. In their eyes, I was my father cheating on my mother. If it is not illegal to kill people in this world, they might have strangled me in my infancy when I was born.

"But I was born and I grew up. Can you imagine what it's like to live in a world without any love and kindness? I felt it, and that's all I felt before I was 12 years old. .”

Luo Xiao touched Fan Xiaoyu's hair, and he curled up in his arms, not daring to move.

"But when I was young, I didn't think it was wrong. I thought the world was like this. When I was very young, I tried to integrate into this world, play with children, and fight back even if I was bullied... Yes, I I will definitely be bullied. Our place is small, and the word 'gay' was equivalent to 'pervert' in the eyes of ordinary people. So I knew from the first day I joined the peer group that I would definitely be In their eyes, I will definitely be repelled.

"But in fact, the exclusion of peers is not as terrible as I imagined, at least not for me. After all, I am a tall boy. I have been taller than my peers since I was a child, but I don't have much nutrition and I am thin. They bullied me. Calling back, although it can save myself from being bullied, I am not very happy because of it-I have no friends, and no one dares to make friends with me.

"So I simply became taciturn. Anyway, I love to read books. In fact, I didn't like to play those noisy and childish games with them when I was very young... But I don't have money to buy books. My uncle's family doesn't give me pocket money, and I don't have money for meals. I give very little. I often don’t have enough for lunch, and I don’t want to go home too soon after school at night. I want to read books in the bookstore.

Fan Xiaoyu looked up at him: "They will beat you, right?"

"I didn't fight often, only a few times."

"Then what did they do to you? Tell me, I will help you avenge!"

"You've already said this once, what kind of revenge, little idiot..."

And if he could take revenge, my mother must have done it for him in all three dimensions, referring to the fate of the person who poured hot water on Fan Xiaoyu...

"What they're doing may not seem like a big deal to them, maybe even domestic violence."

"What is that? What could be scarier than domestic violence?"

"Do you want to know?"

"Of course!"

"Cold violence."

"what?"

"'Neglect'," Luo Xiao said, "is a more terrifying emotion than 'disgust'."

Fan Xiaoyu was stunned for a long time, and then two words appeared above her head: "That's it?"

"Yes," Luo Xiao said seriously, "So I said it's actually not a big deal. If you tell people this without any preconditions, they might think you're teasing him."

Fan Xiaoyu now feels that he is teasing him...

"But you can understand it this way," Luo Xiao said, "I was brought up by my grandmother and uncle's family since I was a child. I have no impression of my parents, so they have almost taken over all my psychological demands for family affection. You can imagine , if a child has never received the slightest care from his 'parents', but grows up in indifference, disgust and even scolding with foul language - what kind of person do you think such a child will become?"

Fan Xiaoyu stared at him and shook her head.

"Later, I read some psychology books and realized that even a baby who didn't get enough sense of security from its mother in its infancy may grow up to be a person with sensitive personality, indifference to others, and even personality defects. I don't want to comment on how my ten years at my uncle's house were. I can only say that it has nothing to do with words like "love" and "warmth"——

"I wake up every day in utter terror and go to sleep in utter breakdown and self-doubt; every day I get abused and blamed and told I'm a 'trash' I'm a 'human scum' ;I have tried hard to please them, but what I got back was even more terrifying indifference and ridicule...

"Placing these things on an adult is likely to make people emotionally broken, especially when the disgust and hatred come not from others, but from the closest people you think, the relatives you think are enough to take on the role of 'parents' …I don’t remember how I got through it. I was less than ten years old at the time, but I was used to it, and I even thought that this world should be like this.”

Fan Xiaoyu looked at him motionless, unable to say a word - he was obviously about to collapse just by listening to it.

"It's fine to be like this all the time," Luo Xiao smiled wryly, "If I had been living in the dark, maybe I would have learned to live by mediocrity, get along, and no longer have any struggles... But when I was eight years old, I said My younger brother was born, that is, my uncle's son."

"what?"

"Well. The whole family began to revolve around that child, pouring all their love and attention into him. I stood by like an outsider. Of course I am an outsider. I don't have the same last name as them. I was also called They were raised in their uncle's house because they were afraid of outsiders' tongues...

"But that baby just made them feel worse about me. My aunt would even challenge me with her kindness to her son, which made me feel more deeply that I was an unloved child, a 'no mother'. 'The child...

"Actually, I really don't know the significance of her doing this, making me envious? Or jealous? I didn't hate them at first, even if the damage they caused to me could not be healed in this life, but at least before that, I thought I don't hate them."

"Well, what then?" Fan Xiaoyu asked with a trembling voice.

"Then one midnight, I was standing next to my sleeping cousin's bed."

"Ah?!" Fan Xiaoyu covered her mouth, "You, you want to—"

Luo Xiao smiled: "Guess?"

"You're not trying to tell him—"

"To be honest, I thought about it at the time."

"what?!"

"I was very curious at the time, how is that child different from me? Does he have more legs than me? Or more arms? Why does he get so much love when he is born? But I have to be loved by everyone. I'm so disgusted... How is he better than me? Can he really be better than me..."

Fan Xiaoyu hugged her knees tightly and shrank her neck.

At this moment, Luo Xiao's face was filled with strange indifference, and his eyes were full of gloom and madness that he had never seen before.Fan Xiaoyu couldn't help shivering, he couldn't have turned on a strange switch on Luo Xiao, right?How many "faces" does Luo Xiao have, which he has not had the chance to see...

Luo Xiao looked down and found his funny appearance, he laughed:

"scared you?"

"no no--"

"Hahaha, you are so deceitful..."

"what?"

"I didn't do anything," Luo Xiao smiled, and the feeling of refreshing and dense like the morning sun came back again, "I was really just curious about what the child looked like, so I took a look at it at night when no one was around--the result was My aunt, who just got up at night, went crazy with fright, and of course that might be the most extraordinary thing I have ever done in my eight or nine-year-old life."

"Well, then what?"

"Then my reputation as a 'perverted little killer' spread throughout my hometown."

"what?"

Fan Xiaoyu stared at him dumbfounded, Luo Xiao chuckled:

"What's the matter? It's so scary? I did have a little bit of thought at the time, because I've read a lot of books, and I've been exposed to things like mystery novels and horror novels... So I knew that if my aunt saw it, I would be killed in the middle of the night. What does standing eerily next to a crib conjure up associations. Well, so I tried."

"Whoever stands by the bed in the middle of the night will be very scary!"

"That's right, and in those horror movies, aren't the scariest ghosts all children of my age?"

"Ah, stop talking, I'm already getting scared!"

Fan Xiaoyu went straight into his arms, Luo Xiao patted him on the back as if to succeed.

Then Fan Xiaoyu seemed to suddenly realize:

"I see! This is what Tan Zhengming wanted to threaten you, right?" He raised his head and looked at Luo Xiao, "Did you be regarded as someone who wanted to kill the baby?"

Luo Xiao nodded: "Well. Actually, I didn't expect so many 'additional' consequences at the time. My reputation in my hometown is not very good. I don't care what others think of me."

"But, but you didn't do anything after all? The police didn't do anything to you, did they? Your uncle and they can't do anything to you, right?"

"Of course they don't have direct evidence. I've always been a gloomy and weird kid in their eyes, but they have to keep me like a cockroach, so they're annoyed..."

"Is that why they beat you?"

Because what he heard just now seemed to be how his uncle's family brutally abused him, Fan Xiaoyu didn't seem to have heard what they did.

"Well, this incident can only be regarded as a sham. After that...they found various reasons to beat me up from time to time. Of course, I did it myself. Who told me to scare my aunt? "

Fan Xiaoyu was sweating.He admitted that Luo Xiao was a bit "bear" ("bear" in "bear kid") when he did this, but how could he be blamed?Children who grew up in that environment, it is already very fortunate that they did not become an "anti-social personality", right?His uncle and aunt should be grateful that Luo Xiao didn't really do anything to the baby...

"Ah, I remembered," Luo Xiao suddenly threw the back of one hand on the other, "Mr. Ning chose me to play the role of the little killer in his novel, so it must be because he heard about me." Story'? Really, if Tan Zhengming didn't make a fuss about it, I really wouldn't have thought of this level..."

Fan Xiaoyu was speechless: Is this something to be proud of...

"Then what? Is that why you were picked up by your father?"

"Well, that's right. Because this matter is still a bit big in that small place. Almost everyone knows that there is a 'freak' living in my uncle's house. People of the same age and even older children will go around when they see me. walking...but it's pretty good, it's rare to be clean, isn't it?"

"Forehead--"

"The next thing you will know," Luo Xiao's tone became brisk, "I was picked up by my dad, then I met my little mom, and then...then I became a happy boy, very happy I've grown up. That's it~"

But Fan Xiaoyu observed his expression carefully and said:

"Really? Is that all? Then why did you mention your childhood when you mentioned 'let me go'? How much did you not let yourself go when you were young?"

Luo Xiao looked at him deeply.

"Because I used to think that the root cause of all suffering was myself."

The author has something to say: Fan Xiaoyu: Well, Mama, why haven't you shown up for a few days...

Author: Huh?Yeah?I didn't even notice it myself... just, I have nothing to say, so I don't talk

Fan Xiaoyu: But it's almost over...

Author: Yes, it’s almost over, thank you for staying with me

Fan Xiaoyu: Oh, do you not love us anymore...

Author: No, I have always loved you guys very much.During this time, rather than saying that I am writing your stories, it is better to say that you are accompanying me.Whenever I start thinking about your stories, I'm not alone at all.That is, I didn't write you well, I am very guilty...

Fan Xiaoyu: Mama, are you crying, I saw it...

Author: No, it was just when Luo Xiao was written——

Luo Xiao: Although you have written me miserable, I still have to thank you—thank you for giving me such a lovely wife.

Author: Well...

Fan Xiaoyu: Ma Ma, don't be sad...

Author: Hey, I'm just wondering why my writing is so bad... If I were better, you might be able to be seen and liked by more people.

Fan Xiaoyu: Mama, it is enough for us to like you...we all love you!

Author: Why is this kid suddenly so sensible...

Fan Xiaoyu: A son does not think his mother is ugly, and a dog does not think his family is poor——

Author: Er, I, I am ugly...