father - home

Surrounded by cold sea water, I sank into the dark seabed, the salty sea water filled my lungs, and I couldn't breathe.The pain in my chest has been numb, and I can't feel any trace of life. Pain, sadness, bitterness and guilt, as well as happiness, sweetness, hope and passion have all left me.I finally let go and was relieved. The only fly in the ointment is: Zhao, won't you come and see me?Baby, I didn't tell you, this is the ending I secretly hoped for.It's not that you leave me, it's that I leave you.I'm selfish, I'm so selfish, forgive me baby...

"Marty!..."

is it you?Zhao, where are you?Why can't I see you?

"Marty!..."

I can't see you, Zhao, can you touch me?let me know you are there for me.

Zhao touched me.His hands are big and warm.He held my head and made me lie flat.I still couldn't see him, I wanted to raise my hand to touch him, but I didn't have the strength.

"Stay still, Marty."

Zhao left again.where did you go?Zhao, don't leave me!

"Open your mouth, Marty."

I know, I hear, I open my mouth.Did I open my mouth?I can not confirm.It seems that except for that little bit of vague and ethereal consciousness, the rest, the body and limbs, are no longer mine.I can feel them, but have no power over them.I don't know if I opened my mouth, I want to hear what you have to say, but I don't know.

I was so sure I didn't open my mouth that Zhao pinched my jaw to make it open.do not blame me!Don't be mad at me!I wanted to be obedient, but unfortunately I couldn't.

Zhao put something in my mouth and closed my mouth.He held my chin and didn't take his hand away immediately.This is good!very good!As long as I can feel you by my side, I feel at ease.

Akira grabs my wrist again.Oh, you have learned all this.When did you learn it, and I haven't taught you yet?learn well.Didn't you say, I always take care of you?In fact, I also need your care.We take care of each other, we love each other, and we stay together for life, just like a real couple holding hands and growing old together.

"Marty...Marty..."

Why did your voice change?Zhao, are you scared by me?Don't worry, I'm fine.Just wait a minute, baby, wait for me, I'll open my eyes and show you, I'm ready, don't worry, baby.With you here, I will not die, I am not willing, I am not willing to part with you.

A hand gently caressed my cheek, caressing gently and slowly.

are you touching meZhao, the calluses on your palm are so hard!wrong!Zhao has calluses on his hands, but the smell of smoke?It's the smell of tobacco, the kind you'd only get from a finger that's been rolling tobacco a lot.Zhao doesn't have this smell, this is not Zhao's hand.

"Marty, how are you feeling? Are you better?"

This hoarse voice is not Zhao, it is very familiar, but it is not Zhao.Zhao's voice is mellow and magnetic. I can hear the uneasiness in Zhao's voice as soon as I hear it. Even if there is uneasiness, it still sounds good.Could it be Joseph?We often make jokes about Joseph's voice, of course he won't be angry, he also laughed at himself as "broken gong voice", so Joseph never sings.

I squeezed my eyes open, and above me appeared the angular face, looking into me, those deep, melancholy blue-gray eyes, it was Joseph!Feelings of happiness and disappointment came to mind at the same time.Fortunately, not Zhao.I kept hiding my illness from Zhao, just because I was afraid that he would worry about me, that he would carry a heavier burden of thought, and that he would not walk smoothly and firmly enough.Fortunately, I survived.God does not want me, because my oath to Zhao has not been fulfilled.Unfortunately, Zhao did not come.I wonder if he will be by my side the next time I get sick, there is always the most serious one?

"Marty, Marty."

"Joseph, how could you..." I tried my best, but my voice was so soft, like a poor mosquito.

"I saw that something was wrong when you went upstairs. I was worried, so I didn't leave right away. I followed and saw you entering the lady's room."

"You heard me and mother..."

"No." Joseph shook his head.

This is Joseph, I don't need to ask at all.

"I waited until you came out. Sure enough, you..."

I saw my military jacket thrown on the floor beside me and knew it without asking. "How did you know?"

"You forgot, the master also had heart disease before, and his medicine is always with him."

I nodded slightly.My father's stroke in the future was not unrelated to his heart disease, but my father was nearly 50 years old when he had the first attack, and I was... Fortunately, Joseph did not leave.Twice when his father fell ill, Joseph was by his side.Joseph knew how to handle it. "Thank you!"

"Why thank me?" Joseph said, his eyes suddenly turned red.

I also have a sore nose.I really shouldn't thank him, it feels alienating.I do not know what to do.

"How can you get this disease? What will you do in the future?"

"I guess it's genetic, it's fine." I wanted to touch Joseph, to comfort him, but I couldn't move.

"Does Madam know?"

I shook my head feebly, not knowing whether it was emotion or guilt.It turned out that my Joseph was still so simple and honest, he didn't care about my estrangement, he was only worried about my illness.

"I didn't tell anyone."

"why?"

"Because it was only posted once."

"you're lying!"

"Why should I lie to you?"

"It was only issued once, and you take the medicine with you?"

"Because father..."

Joseph finally nodded, he believed it.

"You don't have to worry...today was just an accident, fortunately you have..."

"What if I'm not here?"

I couldn't answer, I could only look at him.Joseph also felt embarrassed.He forced a smile and wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand.Tears were already gathering there, and they were about to overflow.

"When I'm not around in the future, you have to be careful, you have to take the medicine with you every day..."

Joseph told me like a child.I nodded and agreed, seeing his red eyes and nose, I thought it was cute.I laughed.

"why are you laughing?"

I laughed but didn't answer.I'm so tired, I really don't feel like talking.