rebirth double

Self, suicide...

I thought it was like being struck by lightning. This feeling was too unreal, like a dream.

Tang Qin used too much force, and half of my arm became numb.

"Silence, if you leave, I'm afraid that Xiao Chuan won't be able to think about it anymore, so you can understand me as an older brother, okay? Just stay with him, I beg you, you can't just leave him like this and go away ah……"

I opened my mouth and froze for a while before making a sound: "What, when?"

Tang Qin wiped his face: "Three months after you disappeared, my brother, my brother cut his wrists in the house where you live in city b. If, if Brother Mo Mo didn't find out in time, my brother would... he just……"

Tang Qin's voice was so choked, I raised my head to look at my grandson who tightly pressed his lips.Looking at the grandson's expression, I understood that he also knew about it. The grandson seemed to be unable to stand up for me, so he said: "If it wasn't for this, let alone Li Xiao, I would have to put it all together." Tang Yuchuan was torn."

I suddenly remembered the voice from Tang Yuchuan when I logged into WeChat in Shanghai that night.In that part of the voice, Tang Yuchuan said to let me wait for him. I think he thought I was dead at that time.

Tang Qin said again: "Silence, don't go, is it okay?"

I don't want to see Tang Yuchuan, and I hate him very much, but I don't want to see him do this for me. It doesn't make sense, does it?

But why was Tang Yuchuan so sad, why did he commit suicide, and why did he vomit blood?It's all my fault, but what did I do?I spent all my heart and soul in the end and became a vegetable. Whoever is responsible for this matter will have to see Tang Yuchuan and make a detour. ?

But Tang Yuchuan pressed on every step of the way, what can I do?I was just resisting him, how could this happen?Am I really doing something wrong?But what did I do?

I looked at Tang Qin's tear-stained face in confusion, and at my grandson's pursed lips.

"Okay, I... At least, I won't leave now."

"Silence, have you thought about it yet?"

The grandson asked me in a low voice, but I don't want Tang Yuchuan to have an accident, I just want him to be fine, and I'm fine too, and we don't owe each other, but it's obviously not the case right now.Besides, Tang Qin is begging me like this now, so I can't just walk away.Although I don't know what to do in the future, I can't just leave now.

I forced a smile: "It's okay, grandson, they won't eat me. Don't worry, it's not easy to tell Li Xiao about this. He is busy enough. If I have something, I will give it to you." Make a call, okay?"

The grandson nodded: "Well, you must contact me if you have anything to do."

Tang Qin grabbed my hand: "Silence, thank you."

When I walked back slowly with Tang Qin, my mind was almost blank.At three o'clock in the morning, the footsteps of Tang Qin and I echoed in the inpatient department. The wind blew from the north, and when it hit us, it seemed to have the smell of disinfectant.

Tang Qin pressed the elevator, and I was dizzy for a while looking at the continuously changing numbers.

Tang Qin's cell phone vibrated suddenly. In the empty hospital building, even such a vibration was like a grenade exploding.

"Where are you, Tang Qin? Xiao Chuan, we can't hold him back. He's taking the elevator down the stairs. Stop him, stop him!"

There was a silent and chaotic roar on the other side of the phone, which I could hear clearly.

The elevator door behind me suddenly opened, I turned around subconsciously, and saw Tang Yuchuan, who was barefoot and wearing a hospital gown, was panting rapidly. A cloud of mist burned under his eyes.

I looked at Tang Yuchuan at a distance of a few steps, and suddenly felt an illusion as if I had passed away. What appeared before my eyes was the appearance of Tang Yuchuan when I first met him in the early summer of that year.

Beautiful, sunny, handsome.

Tang Yuchuan gently held a beverage bottle with his slender fingertips and slowly shook it. His pretty lips were flushed red, evoking a smile that was as bright as the sun.

He smiled wickedly, like a child, and then said to me, "I just said, that's what I drank, and we kissed indirectly just now."

How many years have passed in a flash, and now, everything that used to be has changed beyond recognition and is unsightly.

Tang Yuchuan's tears rolled in his eyes, he took one step stiffly, two steps, and slowly approached, but seemed to be afraid of something, hesitating constantly under his feet.

I stared at his feet, watching them trample the cold hospital floor.Then, Tang Yuchuan's footsteps became more and more flustered, I took a deep breath, and Tang Yuchuan hugged me.

"Xiao Mo, Xiao Mo, Xiao Mo, Xiao Mo, Xiao Mo..."

Tang Yuchuan just called my name over and over again, as if hypnotized.Trembling and whispering, I never knew that my name could contain so many emotions, I thought this mixed feeling would only be felt when my name was Tang Yuchuan.

And if Tang Yuchuan really loves me so much, how did we get to where we are now?

Tang Yuchuan, between us, are you wrong, or am I wrong, or... are we all wrong?

Thinking about it now, this seems to be the first time I didn't resist at all after waking up, just letting Tang Yuchuan hold me like this.

But when I resisted and struggled, I could do it, and I could swear.But now I have no resistance and struggle, but I can't speak a word, and my whole body is stiff.

It turns out that silence hurts more than scolding.

I slowly raised my arms to hug him or push him away. I thought I should do something, but my arms seemed to be heavy.

It was as if a huge force had divided itself into two halves, one half was held stiffly by Tang Yuchuan, and the other half was squatting helplessly and fearfully in the most desperate corner of his heart, hugging his body desperately and telling himself over and over again, " Don't believe him, think about what Fan Chengjun told you, think about the helplessness of drowning, think about the series of busy voices that night, think about the shameful scar on your forehead, silence, remember, remember!"

Reason overcame the shaking at this moment, and my arms hanging in mid-air slipped down in vain, hanging powerlessly by my side.

Shen Mo and Tang Qin rushed out of the elevator. He watched Tang Yuchuan hugging me and calling my name over and over again without making a sound. I sighed: "Go back, you need to rest."

Tang Yuchuan let go of me slowly, he held my hand stubbornly and said, "I don't want to live here, I want to go back."

Tang Xia and Tang Qin couldn't beat Tang Yuchuan, so we had to go back to Tang's house overnight, and Tang Yuchuan held my hand tightly all the way,

His gaze was so hot that I could only silently look at my shoes.Unlike that time in the ambulance, Tang Yuchuan didn't say a word, he just leaned his head on my shoulder, and I didn't resist.

After returning to Tang's house, I originally wanted to go to the bedroom to be peaceful and peaceful, but Tang Yuchuan didn't intend to let go at all, so I had to be led by him and stood in the living room for a long time in a daze.Tang Qin just looked at me like this, as if he hoped that I could let Tang Yuchuan have a good rest. I had no choice but to go upstairs and enter Tang Yuchuan's bedroom.

"I won't go, you let go, I'll find you some clothes to change into."

Tang Yuchuan stared at me for a while before letting go. I opened the closet and found a set of pajamas for him: "Put it on."

Tang Yuchuan sat by the bed and slowly took off his shirt. Only then did I realize that Tang Yuchuan was almost losing weight.Under the dim light, I saw the protruding mark on Tang Yuchuan's left wrist showing a faint pink color.

I looked at the scar and wanted to ask something, but I didn't know how to ask, so I could only say: "In the future, eat more and lose weight."

Tang Yuchuan was stunned, with a hint of disbelief in his eyes, and then nodded abruptly, looking very cute.

I felt sore for a while, and finally squatted down and picked up his wrist. I rubbed his scar with my fingertips, and Tang Yuchuan struggled to withdraw his hand.

I said: "Tang Yuchuan, never hurt yourself like this for anyone, no one is worth it for you."

"But you're dead, I can't accept it..."

Tang Yuchuan said this faintly, and I bit my lips: "My relationship with the Xia family is a bit complicated, besides, I became a vegetable at that time, not only you, but even Li Xiao and Sun Luo thought I was dead .”

"Then, when did you wake up?"

I looked at Tang Yuchuan, thought for a while and said, "March 201x."

I think this should be an accurate answer. Although I woke up in Xu Cheng's body, I was still awake, so it should be counted from then on.

"Since you woke up, you've been at Xia's house?"

I suddenly felt a little overwhelmed. In fact, I think I should have a showdown with Tang Yuchuan and have a calm talk.

Tang Yuchuan rubbed my hair suddenly and said, "You are tired, go to sleep."

I was startled: "You..."

Tang Yuchuan stood up abruptly, and hurriedly said, "I, I'll sit by the bed, okay?"

I sighed: "You are the patient, right?" I said and lifted the thin blanket on the bed: "Go to sleep."

Tang Yuchuan struggled and shook his head.I had no choice but to take out another thin blanket from the cabinet, then climbed onto the bed, and then patted the pillows beside me: "One person covers the other to sleep, is this okay?"

Tang Yuchuan nodded excitedly, then pulled the blanket and fell asleep on the bed.I also fell asleep and said to him: "Turn off the lamp."

Tang Yuchuan stretched out his hand to turn off the lamp. I think this atmosphere is too weird.Tang Yuchuan was lying beside me, just looking at me like this, I couldn't even look away.

Tang Yuchuan reached out and brushed the broken hair on my forehead, then leaned over and kissed the scar on my head: "Xiao Mo, I will wait until you accept me again. Go to sleep, good night."

I tightly pursed my lips, closed my eyes and turned over, not paying attention to him anymore.My eyes fell on the floor-to-ceiling windows opposite, and I couldn't help sighing as I looked at my face reflected in the glass.

After all, going on like this is not a long-term solution, and I am really tired. I guess I won't want to think about personal relationship issues in the past few years.

Time passed by every minute and every second, and I couldn't fall asleep even after moving my body.It can be said that since I entered the Tang family, I haven't had a good night's sleep.

Dry eyes are uncomfortable.I felt some hot flashes on my body, so I kicked off the blanket, and then turned over gently.When Tang Yuchuan and I looked at each other again, I almost forgot to breathe for a moment.

Why hasn't he slept yet...

Tang Yuchuan's breathing was very light, but it hit me so hard on the face. He gently grabbed the blanket that I kicked off just now, and covered me again: "Be good, I'll catch a cold."

My heart trembled fiercely. I am very familiar with this tone, but I haven't heard it for many years.Speaking of which, except for the time at the sports meeting, Tang Yuchuan was very gentle to me. He basically did all the housework at home. Since he lived with me, I haven't been in the kitchen a few times.If I hadn't seen him and Silence, maybe I would always feel that we are very in love and have a very good relationship.

I squeezed the blanket and pulled it up by myself, Tang Yuchuan's arm suddenly wrapped around my waist: "Xiao Mo, I'm really afraid that this is just a dream, and when I wake up, you're gone again. "

I simply closed my eyes and stopped looking at him. Tang Yuchuan put his arms around my waist and put my arms around me. His body moved back, and I just fell asleep in his arms. Bend, everything is as natural as when I was in love, but I couldn't help but hold my breath.

Tang Yuchuan rested his chin on the top of my head and said softly, "We used to do the same thing. You always put your legs on my body, which made me sleep bad."

I closed my eyes tightly, pretending not to hear.

"Xiao Mo, about the past... how much do you remember? Actually, we have always been good, haven't we? It's not just cheating, is it? Why do you always say that we can't go back?"

I couldn't help but gritted my teeth. This question is like a person who gave you a hundred candies and finally stabbed you hard with a knife.You said you will remember the taste of those one hundred candies, or the feeling of being stabbed?

The answer is obvious.

"Xiao Mo, I will accompany you on every birthday in the future. If you like a lot of people, let's spend it together as a family. If you don't like a lot of people, then I will celebrate it for you alone, okay?"

I am silent.

"Xiao Mo, we have never traveled together, and we have no group photos. In the future, I will take you wherever you want. We will take many, many photos and do whatever you want, okay?"

Tang Yuchuan, what is this, coaxing a child?

I pushed him, turned over, and Tang Yuchuan hugged me from behind again.He buried his face on my back, and his warm breath penetrated through the thin clothes and went straight to his heart.

"Xiao Mo, don't say anything, can you answer me?"

"Xiao Mo, please answer me...don't make me feel like I'm the only one left in the whole world."

I really couldn't bear Tang Yuchuan's pleading tone, as if I was really making trouble for no reason.

I sat up slowly, crossed my legs and looked at him.I didn't turn on the light, Tang Yuchuan also sat up straight, we were facing each other, he gently took my hand and interlocked my fingers.

I think it's time for me to have a complete showdown with Tang Yuchuan, the kind that doesn't make noise, doesn't make noise, doesn't hide, and is peaceful and calm.

I took a deep breath.

"Tang Yuchuan, in fact, you didn't have a bone fracture at all that year, did you?"