ashamed

A typhoon forcibly sent away the hesitant summer, and officially entered autumn in the first half of September.

Just after noon, the dark clouds gathered in all directions were about to crush the sky, the wind and the heavy rain crazily washed the windows, and the broken branches fell on the rain, making a loud noise; Pushing the edge of the table in, stepped over to the living room window and snapped the small latch on the window frame dead.The rain beat against his palm through the glass.

Si Jun raised the remote control to pause the movie, and looked back at him from the back of the sofa.

"It's a big drop."

As he spoke, he walked back around the desk lamp, and sat in the position where there was residual warmth, on Si Jun's left hand side.The movie continued while he sat down.The picture freezes in a series of action-only shots without any dialogue. In the screen, an elderly woman sits in front of a very old table, with her withered hands unfolding the letters she has hidden in the box for many years. The camera does not tell people What was written in that letter, I saw that she shed tears amidst the long sound of the cello, and there was a peeling light in her eyes.

Si Jun looked back at Tong Youming in a low sobbing sound, seeing him covering the sleeves of his hands and sipping milk coffee, his eyelashes were covered with thick white mist, and his eyes blinked twice from time to time, He met his gaze questioningly.

Recently, they have become more and more accustomed to this kind of meaningless stare, even including the lengthy silence when they snuggle together after a busy day.They can do many things in this silence, such as exchanging plain eyes like plain boiled water.

"When people are old, they are very fragile."

The man opened his mouth seemingly indifferently, his jaw was retracted, and his eyes were slightly lowered. It was a warm perspective that made people want to get closer.“Isn’t it so tragic when you’re alone and powerless to do anything but remember,” he said.

However, Tong Youming was puzzled but chose to acquiesce in the fact that the dust-like emotions accumulated over the years that often appeared in Si Jun were incompatible with the superficial leisure and frivolity. He never deliberately mentioned it, never With the purpose of letting him know what kind of feedback he got, because he never thought of asking.

It's not that he's not curious about this man's past, but there's no need to ask and seek. Those pasts that he can't participate in, it's useless even if he asks them to the bottom, and he firmly believes that the other party will not hide them.Maybe he's always been the passive one among them, and acceptance is the way he loves it.

"A person is called a memory."

He read the black and white subtitles that rolled at the end of the film, and held Si Jun's hand on his lap.

"The two are just missed." He smiled, "Sounds really good, doesn't it."

The rain stopped at the end of this weekend, and it seemed that every corner of the whole city had stagnant water, reflecting the bright neon lights.

Even if they have nothing to do, they still have a rare holiday, and they go out for a walk after dinner, like those old couples who have been together for decades will do.The temperature plummeted, and Si Jun turned back after going out to get a coat for Tong Youming. Because of this, he accidentally stepped into the puddle under the steps. They held each other's hands in places where the street lights couldn't reach, Step onto the pavement where the pavement is slightly drier.

After the rain, the air was moist and fresh. They left the villa area and turned right to a large intersection. Walking on the opposite side, there was a manor converted into a nursing home; cars were coming and going in the middle of the road, and one could not see clearly in the night. The little boy ran across the zebra crossing, but in the panic of unknown reasons, he misjudged the direction and recklessly bumped into Si Jun.

"Hey...!"

He bumped into a piece of porcelain. The hardness of the old man's body does not need to be tested. Si Jun himself is as unconscious as a wall. He touched the place where he was hit and watched the little boy's buttocks. Sitting slumped on the ground, rubbing his nose with a mournful face, his trousers and palms were soaked by the dirty water on the ground.

Tong Youming reacted quickly, bent down to help the little boy up, and patted the dirty clothes behind him, "Be careful when crossing the road."

It seemed that he only intended to say this one sentence, and he was not the type of enthusiastic and kind words. A few words of persuasion with the attitude that an adult should have was enough, at least Si Jun thought so.

But just as they were about to leave, the little boy took Tong Youming's hand as if he mustered up his courage, and shook it gently with the sound of pleading. "Uncle... do you know where the nursing home is..."

"Ok?"

Tong Youming stopped, and squatted down again at the angle where the hand was pulled, "Do you need me to take you there?"

- I rely on.

Si Jun's heart was bleeding, if he had something to say, why should he hold hands!

Due to her nature as a doctor, Tong Youming has a natural sense of responsibility and desire to protect the injured and weak, which may be more evident in children. "Is it a nursing home near here?"

"Yeah." The little boy nodded crying, "My grandma is there, and I can't find a place."

But his patient and gentle tone made people feel more itchy.Si Jun thought sourly, why should I be jealous with a kid who is less than ten years old?

After all these years, the more he lived, the more he returned.

"Let's go," Tong Youming pointed at Si Jun, took the child and turned around, "This uncle and I will take you there."

This is just an episode that happened in their spare time.

Fortunately, the nursing home is nearby, but the child lost his way and took another side road. When Tong Youming took the little boy to and fro on the road, and chatted with him about children intermittently, Si Jun stared at the big boy from behind. One or two of them were lost in thought.

"Tongtong."

After sending the child away, there were only two people left. They walked past the low red wall covered with vines, and the soles of their feet were layers of fallen leaves soaked in rainwater. Si Jun asked him, "Do you like children?"

"It's okay." Tong Youming slowed down, "How about you?"

"Me?" Si Jun shrugged, and with a smile as a boundary, he resumed his previous slightly raised tone, "If you like me, I like it."

—but if only I could give it to you.He didn't say.