withered color

When the statement is tired of talking about going to eat, it is really going to eat.

Xu Liangyun didn't say a word behind him, and walked three or four meters away from him, with his head lowered, and he was so obedient all the way.

Chen Yan didn't know what Xu Liangyun was thinking, anyway, his mind was messed up, it was all about those three guns.

He led Xu Liangyun to an unremarkable stir-fry restaurant near the community, sat down and ordered three dishes, all of which were Xu Liangyun's previous favorites.

As soon as he finished the statement and looked up, he saw Xu Liangyun standing in the aisle of the small shop in a daze, with his hands behind his back, cute and at a loss, looking like a flattered middle school student being carried away by the head teacher.

Chen Yan was rendered speechless by him, the corners of his mouth twitched, and he asked, "Will you sit down?"

Xu Liangyun pursed his lips, walked over boldly, and sat opposite the statement, stiff as if his joints had petrified.

The statement was even more speechless: "Can you relax, I don't eat people."

"...No." Xu Liangyun said weakly, "What's the matter with you..."

"Can't you eat if you have nothing to do?"

Xu Liangyun was silent, then pondered for a moment, and said, "If it's okay...you should want to chop me up for dinner."

Statements: "..."

Chen Yan pursed his lips, his eyes drifted away silently, looking inexplicably guilty.

"Instead of asking me to sit here and eat with you." Xu Liangyun then asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

--What happened to you?

That's a really good question.

Statement was disgusted by his question, and his mood was a little turbulent, but he didn't know how to answer it.

When he saw Xu Liangyun, he was upset.

It was messy enough.

"I don't know." He lowered his eyelashes and said, "Let's eat first. You let me organize the language...I'll talk to you slowly when I get back."

Xu Liangyun nodded to him, lowered his eyes, and let out a weak "Okay".

His "yes" made Zhang Yan's heart twitch slightly.

Chen Yan raised his eyes and glanced at him, seeing his cramped and well-behaved appearance, he suddenly felt that he was about to hate him.

He feels like he's done.

It didn't take long for the food to be served.The three dishes that he disliked were all Xu Liangyun's favorites back then, one meat, one vegetable, one soup, and then two bowls of rice.

Xu Liangyun's eyes were slightly stiffened by these three dishes.

He looked up at the statement, wanted to say something, but couldn't get it out of his mouth, so he hesitated to speak.

Statement disgust is much calmer than him.He stretched out his chopsticks to pick up the rice bowl, and asked him casually, "How is Cha?"

Xu Liangyun didn't dare to move his chopsticks at all, and sat more upright than a primary school student on the first day of school, his voice was like a mosquito buzzing: "Still sifting..."

"Speak louder." Chen Yan glanced at him, "How did you become the captain of the criminal police?"

Xu Liangyun: "..."

"How about the investigation?"

Xu Liangyun obediently turned up the volume: "Still screening."

"No suspects?"

"...Basically nothing." Xu Liangyun said, "Fang Yun died two days before he was discovered. The prisoner must have been busy arranging the scene during those two days, but those two days were just around the corner of the Chinese New Year, and the surveillance cameras in the general community have captured it. People...Yang Lu was also photographed by surveillance, and neither was he."

"...Now I'm considering whether it's a random killing, or a gang."

"Well."

Chen Chen responded with disgust, nodded to show his understanding, then pointed to the rice bowl in front of him with his chopsticks, and said in a very soft voice, "Eat."

Xu Liangyun didn't say a word, but looked up at him listlessly.

"Look at me, I ordered all the dishes for you." Chen Yan said, "I won't poison you, and we are not enemies."

As soon as these words came out, the statement was slow to react - the two of them are indeed enemies now.

Xu Liangyun was the scumbag who let him be seriously injured and hospitalized and ignored him, and stated that he hated his cold violence.

From an objective point of view, it is so.

Chen Yan paused with his chopsticks, and after a few seconds of silence, he added dryly to himself: "I don't hate you that much yet."

After hearing this, Xu Liangyun's expression was a bit complicated. He didn't know what to say for a while, so he stretched out his hand without saying a word, took a pair of disposable chopsticks, broke them apart, and started eating.

The statement gave him an annoyed look.

Xu Liangyun holds the chopsticks with his left hand.

... something is wrong.

Even if you really change your dominant hand... there is no need to change even the chopsticks.

Chen Yan bit his chopsticks and frowned.

The atmosphere of the meal was delicate, no one spoke anymore, and they didn't know what they were thinking.

After eating, Chen Yan said that he would invite him, so he got up and paid.

Xu Liangyun felt sorry at first, and got up and wanted to pay by himself, but Chen Chen said without looking back, "If you pay, I will take off my gloves here."

Xu Liangyun was threatened, so he had no choice but to accept his fate and be invited.

After paying, the two walked out of the restaurant.

Standing in the winter night, Chen Yan let out a sigh of relief.

He looked up blankly at the white air floating in the air, then lowered his head to look at Xu Liangyun who had been looking at him.

"Start here?" Chen Yan said, "It seems a bit boring."

As a person in the arts, unlike Xu Liangyun, who does not care about the time and place, as long as the people get along, he states that he is tired of life and pays attention to the sense of ritual. Living is an elegant experience, and he must be emotional in everything he does.

It is said that this is the most basic respect for life.

Xu Liangyun stood in the cold wind that could turn people into idiots, feeling more and more uneasy in his heart.

But he was bored with the statement but he was not in a hurry. After saying this, he looked up at the sky again, and then said slowly: "The moon is not out today."

Xu Liangyun stood aside and watched him silently, feeling even more uneasy for some reason.

"Fengshui is really bad." Chen Yan said, "I'd better read the almanac before calling you, I'm impulsive."

Xu Liangyun was terrified when he heard it, for fear that the statement would run out and say, "Let's forget about today and talk about it another day" - that would be too damn tormenting.

"Here...it's pretty good." Xu Liangyun boldly laughed twice, and said, "If you have anything to say, just say it here...I'm quite busy."

"Then you take me home." Chen Yan said, "On the way."

Xu Liangyun: "..."

"Okay." Chen Yan looked at him, "Those policemen didn't follow you after me. If you don't send me home, I will go back by myself. Just in case..."

Xu Liangyun couldn't take it anymore, so he quickly reached out his hand to stop: "I see, I'll see you off."

Chen Yan smiled at him for the first time, then turned his head and walked back.

The winter night was too cold, and the two of them put their hands in their pockets, just like when they came, and walked on the road again, one behind the other, separated by three or four meters.

Funny to say.The two people who have walked this road hand in hand countless times, are now walking so deliberately to keep a distance.

The road is the old road, and people are the old people, but people are worse than the road before.

Statement Yan was a little absent-minded, and suddenly felt that the few meters between them resembled the five years of separation.

Chen Chen sighed in disgust, turned his head and started a seemingly casual discussion on the next topic: "What's wrong with your hand?"

Xu Liangyun: "...Huh?"

"Hand." Chen Yan said, "I don't remember you eating with your left hand."

Xu Liangyun was choked up by his question, and Chen Yan paused when he heard his footsteps, probably panicked.

But he was quick to find a reason. After a while, he said, "No, I got injured when I caught a thief two years ago."

"Really." The statement responded with annoyance, and then said lightly, "I have a friend who watched the news of that year yesterday, and then told me that you were shot three times that year-whether it's funny or not, I don't know at all .”

As Chen Yan spoke, he turned to look at him sideways and said, "Don't you think you are violating a victim's right to know?"

"...No." Xu Liangyun panicked, and said, "At that time, we had already finished the breakup phone call... Also, it has nothing to do with you."

Statement Yan was annoyed by him and laughed: "I'm a fucking victim, it doesn't matter if you call me that?"

Xu Liangyun fell silent, lowered his head, not daring to look at him, and stopped in his tracks.

Chen Yan looked at him this time, but he didn't feel that he couldn't hate him any more. He just thought that Xu Liangyun was so fucking annoying, it really made him want to die.

He evaded and evaded and evaded, he wanted to avoid even a glance!What else can he do besides hide? !

"...I'm really angry talking to you." Chen said his teeth were itching with disgust, "I almost didn't get electrocuted to death, so I don't have the right to know? What's the point?! I want to sue you!!"

"..."

"What are you doing with your head down, look up!"

Xu Liangyun pursed her lips and raised her head obediently.

As soon as he raised his head, the lingering thoughts in his eyes came into the eyes of the statement.

It's hard to describe what kind of look it is. I just feel that the guilt and self-blame inside are like waves higher than the sky.

Statement Yan was hit by this look in the softest part of his heart, and his anger disappeared instantly.

He was silent.

Xu Liangyun didn't dare to say anything, the two of them just looked at each other silently for a long time.

After being silent for a long time, the statement-weariness became a bit unbearable.

"...Xu Liangyun." He said, "Say something."

Xu Liangyun looked at him, pursed his lips tightly, and remained silent.

The statement asked: "Do you have nothing to say?"

"...No." Xu Liangyun said, "I'm just...you don't need to feel sorry for me."

Chen Yan couldn't help but took a light breath, his brain ached from this sentence, he really wanted to be angry but was unwilling to be angry.

He supported his forehead and slowly squatted down, wanting to calm down.

Xu Liangyun was taken aback by him, and thought something was wrong with him, so he stepped forward quickly, squatted down and asked, "What's the matter, what's wrong?"

As soon as he squatted down, he realized that the statement was fine at all, but he was so angry that he couldn't calm down, so he squatted down to calm down.

Chen Yan squatted on the ground, supported his forehead, lowered his eyes to look at the frozen puddles on the ground, and let out a long sigh.

He is so helpless.Although I don't know if it's for Xu Liangyun, or for myself, or for all the fucking things.

Or each of them made him very helpless.

"...Xu Liangyun." He said, "You may not know, but I actually don't remember that day at all... The doctor told me that the damage was too great, so my body's functions were weakened, and my immunity was also weakened. Memory. To be honest, I don’t even remember how I was taken away that day... I have often had a fever and cold in the past few years, all because of that incident.”

Xu Liangyun: "..."

"I don't know anything, I really don't know anything." Chen Yan said, "You don't tell me anything, and you don't tell me anything... I only know that the person who took me away has something to do with you. Qiu, I don’t know why he’s staring at me.”

"... You treated me like this. When I heard that you were shot, I still couldn't help but want to feel sorry for you. I know you may have secrets, and I know that even if you have secrets, you are cold and violent to me. I know I should Hate you...but I just fucking want to love you."

"...I'm such a jerk." Chen Yan laughed and said, "You're such a jerk too."

The statement was a bit incoherent, and regardless of whether Xu Liangyun said anything, he muttered to himself: "It's been so many years... It's been five years."

"Counting the five years together... we have been together for ten years, Xu Liangyun."

"How many decades can there be in a lifetime...We've all been there for so long."

"I have told many people about you. Some people say that I hate you more than I said, and some people say that I don't seem to hate you that much... After all, sometimes I am confused. I don't know whether I hate you or not ...how much I hate you again."

"I really don't know why it happened like this." Chen Yan said, "I really don't know... What did I do wrong, you want to treat me like this."

"...You're a bastard, you, you have to give a reason to break up... What's the reason if you're tired."

"Aren't we still okay... I always remember that we are still okay." Chen Yan said, "I don't remember that day, but I remember the day before...the day before you still bought me flowers, and you still said you loved me... ...You still hugged me and said that you would buy me porridge tomorrow morning."

Chen Yan kept holding his forehead when he said these things, and there was something dim in his eyes, as if he was trying hard to recall, but also seemed to be trying hard not to think about it.

When he said this, he finally raised his head and looked at Xu Liangyun.

Chen Yan asked: "Did I... have porridge that day?"

Xu Liangyun lowered his head, his lips trembling for a long time.

Those who don't want to think about that day are more than just stating that they hate one person.

After a long time, Xu Liangyun finally answered him with a trembling voice.

"... drank it."

He said, "That's the last time I'll buy you porridge."

Chen Yan asked him again: "Did you save me?"

"...It wasn't me." Xu Liangyun said, "Xiang Xuan took people there...I was...vomiting at that time."

The statement was taken aback.

"...I don't think you're disgusting, I just... hate you so much."

Xu Liangyun said: "I don't hate Ye Xia, but I hate myself."

Chen Yan pursed his lips and remained silent.

The two were once again relatively silent for a moment.

Finally, Xu Liangyun breathed a sigh of relief, lowered his head, and said to him: "Don't think about this case any more, and don't care whether I was shot or not, what happened to my hand...I deserve these things, just worry about it." Just hate me...you were implicated by me."

"You hate me," he said. "You hate me, so I can live with it."

Xu Liangyun's voice trembled a little, as if every word he said was the blood of his heart, trembling drop by drop.

Chen Yan raised his eyelids, glanced at him, and asked him gently: "Then do you still love me?"

Statement Yan could see his body stiffen visibly with the naked eye, as if he had been stabbed in the heart by these words.

Statement Yan laughed: "You still love me."

Xu Liangyun pursed his lips, wiped his face with his hand, stood up, and said, "Stop talking, I'll take you home."

The smile on Chen Yan's face turned sad: "You really still love me."

Xu Liangyun pursed his lips tightly and fell silent again.Statement Yan saw that his right hand was shaking slightly, as if he couldn't control it - it didn't seem to be infected by emotion, it seemed to be shaking pathologically.

"...Yes." Xu Liangyun said, "But we are finished."

As if he couldn't hear the statement, he raised his head, looked at Xu Liangyun, and asked him, "What's wrong with your hand?"

Xu Liangyun remained silent.

Statement Yan then asked him with red eyes: "You don't really cut your wrists, do you?"

Without saying a word, Xu Liangyun lowered his head and hid his hands behind his back.

"What's the matter with you?"

Being left behind by Xu Liangyun for five full years without reason, he had so many questions in his mind that it didn't matter whether he had an answer or not.

He then asked, "Why did you leave me alone?"

"Why didn't you come to see me?" Chen Yan squatted on the ground and raised his head and asked him, "Why did you break up with me when I was seriously injured? Since you still like me, why did you break up? Why didn't you come and see me?" Why don't you ask me if it hurts? Don't you care so much? Don't you like me very much...Didn't you say you love me so many times? "

"...Why on earth did you do something sorry for me?"

Seemingly knowing that he was doomed after all, Xu Liangyun finally closed his eyes after a while, and sighed helplessly again.

His voice was a little hoarse: "Because I'm also the one who hurt you."

"I know I'm sorry for you, so... I know it hurts you, I know it's wrong, I know it hurts you... I know you hurt at that time, but I... I don't have the right to ask you It doesn't hurt. I didn't want you to forgive me at all, I just...I can't love anymore...I want you to hate me. "

"...I don't have the face to see you." Xu Liangyun said, "I don't have the face to continue with you."

The words have come to this point, and the statement is exhausted.

He lowered his head, breathed out a trembling breath, held his forehead, his hands trembled, and suddenly wanted to cry.

Xu Liangyun was different from him, he remembered that day clearly.

I can't remember the statement, but Xu Liangyun remembered every detail of that day.He remembered the screams of Chen Yan, he remembered every wound on his body, he remembered every drop of blood that day.

He couldn't forgive himself.

That's why they broke up.

It has been five years, and Chen Yan hated him so hard that his blood boiled hot, but the wind tonight was so strong that they were all blown away.

"...I'll take you home." Xu Liangyun said, "You go home."

Statement hate looked up at him.

He saw the street lamps shining on Xu Liangyun's shoulders, and the winter wind made his clothes rattle.

Statement Yan suddenly felt for no reason that Xu Liangyun was teetering in the cold wind and was about to collapse.

"...Don't contact me any more."

Xu Liangyun said to him: "I'm sorry, I'm tired of making statements... I'm really sorry for you."

"...you hate me."