Unforgivable

Autumn may like to bring the rain to the world. The Shilian Villa is located in a remote location, close to the mountains and the sea. The wind outside the window is bitingly cold. Nan Shu closed every window.

He kept watch over Shi Zhiyuan for a day and a night until the temperature on his body returned to normal.

Shi Zhiyuan's face was pale, and the day's high fever made him feel dizzy. Nan Shu woke him up at noon, fed him some food, and watched him fall into sleep again after taking the medicine. He had no clothes on his lower body, only one She was wearing a pure white shirt, buttoned a few times, and the hickey marks on her chest were clearly visible.

Nan Shu looked at him silently for a long time, and reached out to touch his cheek. The brother he had been thinking about day and night was now by his side, but he was not happy at all. Injured, he tried to go back to the past in this way, but in the end he was just deceiving himself and others. He seemed to have personally ruined the weak possibility between him and Shi Zhiyuan, and he had no way out.

Shi Zhiyuan really woke up at night that night, the surroundings were very quiet, the wind blew across the sea and made waves, he looked at the sea in the distance, and felt his hands being tightly held, Nan Shu was lying beside his bed, The pose looks uncomfortable.

He slowly withdrew his hand back, the movement was very light, but Nan Shu still opened his eyes, he opened his mouth, stretched out his hand and touched his forehead, his tense body finally relaxed.

For a moment he suddenly didn't know what to do, he opened his eyes in a daze for a moment, brought a glass of water to Shi Zhiyuan, saw that after drinking it he heated up the porridge he had prepared in the afternoon, and fed him with his own hands.

Shi Zhiyuan didn't resist, and he didn't knock over again. There was no emotion in his eyes, like the gray sky outside the window, dense hickey marks on his neck, his white and straight legs were slightly bent, and the moonlight illuminated his legs bruises on.

"Brother...are you better?" Nan Shu asked hesitantly, and did not specify where it was, but Shi Zhiyuan ignored him, leaning against the head of the bed, motionless, like a body that had lost its soul.

He has completely given up on himself, a gesture of being at the mercy of others.

Nan Shu looked at his hand, but didn't dare to hold it again.His head hurts, his head is very messy, he can't sort out his thoughts, and he can't face it normally, he seems to have fallen into a vortex, and he also pulled Shi Zhiyuan down.

He lost control and would do things that he didn't even realize. After waking up, he began to regret, hating himself who hurt Shi Zhiyuan, but he was reluctant to let him go.

The suffocation in his chest seemed to kill him, Nan Shu trembled all over, tearing his hair vigorously, Shi Zhiyuan looked at him with no waves in his eyes.

The soul seemed to have returned to the real world, and Nan Shu knelt on the ground, looking at Shi Zhiyuan.

"……elder brother."

He said in a very hoarse voice, "Give me another 24 hours."

"I will let you go after the time is over, and I will never bother you again in the future."

Shi Zhiyuan's eyebrows twitched for less than a second.

Nan Shu looked at the drizzle outside the window and murmured, "Never again."

Xu Ming helped Shi Zhiyuan manage the company, and asked his brother to finally find Shi Zhiyuan's whereabouts. In the afternoon, he left the company and drove to Shili'an Villa alone.

He drove like flying along the way, and soon arrived at the place. The door was locked from the inside and could not be opened at all. The front and rear gardens were empty. Xu Ming went in and found that the balcony window on the first floor was half open. , you can enter with a light jump.

This villa was bigger than he imagined, he went up to the second floor to search for each room, and finally found Shi Zhiyuan in the middle room.

Hearing the sound, Shi Zhiyuan turned his head, and Xu Ming was stunned the moment he saw his appearance clearly. He lost a lot of weight, his white shirt covered his hips, his legs were exposed, and his legs were scarred. The red and purple traces of people, and the hickey that cannot be ignored.

Xu Ming's face darkened, he clenched his fists, suppressed his anger, and asked, "Where is he?"

Shi Zhiyuan stopped looking at him and didn't answer.

Xu Ming walked over in a few steps, stood still in front of him, and looked at him from head to toe. The more he looked at him, the more terrifying his eyes became. He cursed and said fiercely, "I will never let him go!"

He went to the cabinet to find a suit of clothes, and said to Shi Zhiyuan, "Come with me first."

Shi Zhiyuan didn't seem to hear it, and was still standing in front of the window. He looked at the sea and didn't move for a long time. Xu Ming frowned, supported his shoulder, and raised his tone uncontrollably: "...you don't willing?"

"The door can be opened, why don't you run away? Do you know how long I've been looking for you and how worried I am about you!" Xu Ming roared angrily, "You change your clothes immediately and leave with me, as long as you follow me , I can do nothing to him."

"Zhiyuan—"

"Go back."

Xu Ming was stunned and couldn't believe what he heard. He looked at Shi Zhiyuan and asked uncertainly, "...what are you talking about?"

There was no expression on Shi Zhiyuan's face, he just repeated it lightly: "You go back first."

"I'm really..." Xu Ming was very angry at him, "I don't know what you are thinking, do you like being treated like this by him?"

Shi Zhiyuan rolled his eyes, looked at him, and said calmly: "I promised to give him 24 hours, but the time has not yet come."

As if hearing something absurd, Xu Ming's anger finally erupted, and he approached Shi Zhiyuan: "Do you know who managed the company for you during this period? Do you know how many days I have rested during this period? I What the hell is in your heart? A clown who comes and goes when you call him?"

"I just don't live up to my mother's expectations. I have liked you for so many years. I will not do my own business to help you stabilize your company. You can see how I have treated you in the past few years. I take care of you." Diet, I am afraid that you will be hurt a little in life. How can I feel better when you are in pain? I hold you in the palm of my hand, but look at how you have been tortured by him now, and you still want to stay. Come down! Zhiyuan, tell me, what are my past few years?"

"Do you think I'm idle?" Xu Ming raised his chin and whispered, "Did you play me for so many years?"

Shi Zhiyuan looked into his eyes, called him, and said, "So don't you like me?"

Xu Ming's jaw was tense, and he chose not to answer this question.

Shi Zhiyuan smiled, "It's pretty good."

"Xu Ming, don't deny yourself." Shi Zhiyuan looked directly into his eyes, "You are very good, very good, so good that I feel ashamed in front of you. How can I have your love? How can you let a problematic self destroy you."

"I'm sorry, don't these words sound selfish? I rejected you, but accepted your kindness for so many years. I am very grateful that you have always pulled me forward and accompanied me through the difficulties in life. I I also want to give you something in return, but you don’t seem to lack anything.”

Shi Zhiyuan smiled, raised his head and stroked his face: "The only thing you want is me, right?"

"You have also seen my current appearance." Shi Zhiyuan said, "I'll give it to you, do you want it?"

"Zhiyuan——" Xu Ming's eyes flashed with disbelief, more of annoyance, he could hardly say anything else, "Is that how you think of me?"

Shi Zhiyuan took a few steps back, looked at him and said, "You choose yourself. The company's shares, or an incomplete me."

Shi Zhiyuan stood by the window and watched Xu Ming leave angrily, he collapsed on the sofa, and looked at the time, Nan Shu should be on his way back.

Sure enough, just a few minutes later, Nan Shu came in with a lot of vegetables in his hand. Instead of going upstairs, he looked up and saw Shi Zhiyuan standing in the corridor.

He cooks again.

There are a lot of dishes this time, all of which he learned carefully. He was spoiled and spoiled since he was a child, and he has never been in the kitchen. After returning to City A, he began to learn to cook seriously. Although it is not as exquisite as the ones in the hotel, it is good for nutrition Totally keep up.

Time never waits for anyone, night is already approaching.

Shi Zhiyuan sat down opposite him, Nan Shu looked at him and clenched his fingers tightly. It was rare for them to be so peaceful. This was the first time after five years that he and Shi Zhiyuan sat at the same table for dinner. At this moment, he suddenly didn't know what to say, he just filled a bowl of soup and put it in front of Shi Zhiyuan's eyes.

Shi Zhiyuan ate all the dishes he picked up in his mouth. He noticed that Nan Shu's dishes were all his old taste, avoiding ingredients he didn't like, and also noticed his wounded hands. But Nan Shu didn't eat a single bite of this meal, and kept looking at the piano in the middle of the living room.

Nan Shu thought of the piano that Shi Zhiyuan took him to learn when he was a child. At that time, Shi Zhiyuan said that the piano music was amazing. The sound of the piano conveys joy, sorrow, or reluctance.Shi Zhiyuan accompanied him to participate in many competitions. Nanshu was sad for a long time when he failed to win the first two times, because the chosen piece was not suitable. The teacher said that his rhythm was hollow and people would forget it after hearing it.

Nan Shu was hit, Shi Zhiyuan kept comforting him, and accompanied him to find the suitable repertoire, practiced with him, and stayed with him for countless days and nights. Later, Nan Shu finally played perfectly. He won the first trophy Give it to Shi Zhiyuan.

Nan Shu walked to the piano and sat down. His hands were no longer as slender and smooth as before. Now his hands were full of injuries, and the scars could not be removed.

He played a few keys, but his hands were shaking all the time. He closed his eyes, his chest heaved, and he heard the sound of sea water splashing on the sand.

Unfortunately, he can no longer play a complete piece of music.

Nan Shu got up and walked towards Shi Zhiyuan, his raised hand stopped when he saw Shi Zhiyuan's gaze, his hand slowly fell on Shi Zhiyuan's shoulder, bent down, and said softly: "Don't move , take you out to see the sea."

The sea and the sky are in a line, the waves wet the feet, and then recede, the wind on the face seems to carry the saltiness of the sea, Nan Shu thinks of the drift bottle that he threw with Shi Zhiyuan when he was a child, and now he does not know where it is lost.

"elder brother."

He said, "Do you still like sunflowers?"

"That year you drew a picture for me, it was the figure of us planting sunflowers together, the flowers bloomed three months later, it was beautiful, facing the sun, and one tree grew so tall that I couldn't even touch it .”

"Later, it rained for several days. Before the rain stopped, they were blown crooked by the strong wind, and died within a few days." Nan Shu smiled, as if seeing sunflowers blooming on the sea, " You told me it’s okay, I’ll plant it next year.”

He paused for a moment.

"But we didn't wait until the next year."

"I have never understood many things since I was a child." Nan Shu turned his back to him and looked far away, "For example, why do two people who love each other hurt each other, for example, you who I always thought were my brother, why are you suddenly not my brother? gone."

"Brother, you have been my reliance since childhood. I love you. Maybe you don't want to hear it." Nan Shu turned his head to look at Shi Zhiyuan, but when Shi Zhiyuan looked away, his eyes darkened, "So I I don't even understand why you who loved me so much disappeared so completely."

"I locked you in this way, trying to remind you of the past, trying to make you treat me a little better, and smile at me like before. I always thought we could go back to the past, bro, I don't care about anything. I don't want it, I just want you by my side."

"But I seem to have made another irreparable mistake." His smile was very weak, full of bitterness, "Because now you will be better off without me."

The notes of the sea come with the waves, maybe the other side of the sea is the other shore, but he can't reach it after all, this endless sea disperses and separates his feelings from Shi Zhiyuan.Things that I thought would not change turned out to be beyond recognition.

"Brother, it's over." Nan Shu looked at him, locked him with the mountains and sea in the distance, and said slowly, "Let's go."

Shi Zhiyuan looked at him face to face, he looked at him for a long time, his eyes were as heavy as the sky, he didn't give any response, turned and left.

He remembered that when he brought Nan Shu here when he was a child, they all threw a drift bottle. Nan Shu couldn't hide his words, and told him that it said "Brother Shi Zhiyuan will always be by my side" in it. Laughing but not talking, he started to make a fuss for a long time, wanting to know what he wrote, but Shi Zhiyuan never told him.

At that time, the relationship between their parents was already very bad. Nan Jianming was drunk and went crazy, and he would beat and scold at every turn when he was impulsive. They lived in Shili'an for a few days and had a really peaceful life. He stopped writing notes for a long time , and finally wrote the next sentence: Brother Nanshu grew up safely and happily.

People say that time is the best thing, it can dilute memory and heal scars, people will rely on time when they are powerless about something, but they often ignore that time is also the cruelest thing, it passes too slowly, so slow that every day Every second is suffering, people gradually lose themselves, and sometimes it passes too fast, so fast that in the blink of an eye, pure love has disappeared.

Shi Zhiyuan could not deny the sincerity of writing those words at that time, even now he hopes that Nan Shu can do what he said, but there is no eternity between them, and Nan Shu has not been very happy during the five years of growing up. .

He used to think as simple as Nan Shu, thinking that some things would really happen if he looked forward to it, and the plan would really come true. He used to think that the separation was far away, but when he pushed Nan Shu away and left Nan Shu , He thought he had forgotten all these things, and he began to understand that feelings are the most rare thing in the world, and long-term and stable feelings will never exist. There can be thousands of reasons for separation, and they can't choose.

Everything will change, including the seemingly tough love that is actually vulnerable.

He loves Nanshu, but this love has already deteriorated, and hatred is mixed in, which gradually erodes the love.When facing Nan Shu, he couldn't see himself clearly, and every time he pushed him away, he would put himself in an impenetrable cage. He was angry, entangled, remorseful, heartbroken, and hatred was mixed with it after all. what?Shi Zhiyuan doesn't know.

The back garden has long been deserted, leaving only a piece of soil covered with leaves that have been blown down by the wind.

The sunflower vines were broken five years ago, but he couldn't control the growth in his heart.

So he couldn't forgive Nan Shu, and he would never be able to forgive himself.