lover's self-cultivation

The car was driving slowly on the road, obviously very slow, but Si Xiangyan felt that it was going extremely fast, and an invisible gas was oppressing her all over her body, making it difficult for her to breathe.Weng Linran's voice filled her mind, her desperate eyes flashed again and again, her sad and hopeless smile.Si Xiangyan didn't know why she was like this, was she feeling guilty, worried, or distressed?

Maybe, all of them.

The pain in her heart made her whole body weak, and she had experienced this feeling deeply before.She loved a man, a man who made her feel that she could entrust her whole life.But that person chose to abandon her when he was in the most difficult time, and the reason was because of his little self-esteem and possessiveness.

Si Xiangyan never knew that she would cry so miserably. After the man left, she even had the idea of ​​committing suicide, but in the end she forcibly supported it because of the Si family's burden and her parents' last wishes.Over the years, Si Xiangyan forced herself to forget everything she had ever done. It was very difficult at first, but now, she can take it easy.She learned to hide her emotions and exchanged boyfriends to take care of herself. In fact, it was just to kill time and relieve the loneliness in her heart.

Si Xiangyan knew that she no longer had much longing for love in her heart, and the older she got, the more she knew that nothing in this world was true, only the power in her hands could make her feel at ease.Love is not necessarily the whole of life, it is just the seasoning in the dishes, dispensable.Even if she, Si Xiangyan, lost her love, nothing would happen.

However, Weng Linran's appearance was so sudden that it almost disrupted all the tracks that Si Xiangyan had laid in advance.When Di Lao proposed the transaction terms, Si Xiangyan's first reaction was to refuse, but after she refused, she began to think again.If I sink further, I am afraid that I will lose myself again.Instead of doing that, it's better to be ruthless and let yourself completely cut off that thought.

It can be said that what Si Xiangyan did was cruel to herself, and it was even more inhumane to Weng Linran.Thinking of that person always looking at me affectionately, even if he always does something that has no lower limit, he always surrounds her as the center of the circle.Si Xiangyan clenched her fists. Seeing the driver park the car in the garage, she lifted her legs and got out of the car. She quickly walked back to the living room, opened a bottle of red wine and refilled it for herself.

My favorite red wine dipped into my mouth on weekdays, but Si Xiangyan had no desire to taste it.Her hands were shaking, but the expression on her face pretended to be calm.There was a voice in her heart telling her to keep drinking, to wake up after getting drunk, and tonight would pass without incident.But another voice told her that if she didn't go back to the hotel now and stop the tragedy from happening, she would lose her last chance to get love in this life.

In the blink of an eye, a bottle of wine had bottomed out, but Si Xiangyan's sanity was unprecedentedly sober.She still remembers that Weng Linran always likes to ask herself when she will accept her, so that she can give her body to herself, even if she separates in the future, she still has a thought.However, I made the cruelest decision tonight, and sent the person who wholeheartedly wanted to keep the first time to myself, to another man's bed.Getting up from the sofa uncontrollably, Si Xiangyan gripped the car keys tightly, stepped on the accelerator when he got in the car, and drove back to the hotel quickly.

"Weng Linran, wait for me."

The body was cold, causing small bumps on the surface of the skin.In a blink of an eye, the skirt she was wearing was removed, and the body without underwear in the evening gown was exposed in front of a man.Seeing that Di Lao's eyes became extremely wretched, and those eyes gazing at him with lustful eyes made Weng Linran feel extremely disgusted and wanted to vomit.

She didn't know what she was still waiting for, was she waiting for Si Xiangyan to come back?Or do you really want to accept your fate and give your first love to this kind of man?The heart ached so badly that Weng Linran felt that he was about to be hurt to death.The man's rough hands stroked her body, and his bearded lips bit her neck recklessly.

Weng Linran turned his head away, only feeling that he was as dirty as garbage at the moment.She was cheap, her body was sold to this old man by Si Xiangyan as a deal, and after tonight, she would never have any chance to be with Si Xiangyan again.At this moment, I am like stacks of newspapers on the floor. After I have used them or read them, they will only be disposed of as garbage.

Weng Linran laughed at himself, his body was already shaking, because Di Lao's rough hands had come to her crotch, removing the last bit of clothing from her body.When the naked/naked body was seen by Di Lao, Weng Lin was struggling to breathe, only feeling that something was broken in his body.Si Xiangyan will not come back again, and he doesn't care about himself at all.

Seeing Di Lao bowed his head and began to take off his own clothes, Weng Linran bit the tip of his tongue hard, using severe pain to awaken the control over his body.Blood spilled from the corner of her mouth, slowly dripping onto the white sheet, blooming a beautiful red petal.Finally able to move his body, Weng Linran quickly grabbed the lamp by the bed, knocked it on the bedside table and smashed it, picked up the glass from it and pressed it against his neck.

This series of actions was so fast that Di Lao, who was still undressing, couldn't react at all.Looking at the blood on Weng Linran's face, and the coldness in her eyes that refused to give in.Di Lao's face darkened, he stopped undressing, took out his mobile phone and said something angrily, then the door was pushed open, and Weng Linran saw that it was his translator who came in.

"Miss Weng, Di Lao has already told me what happened to you just now. I have to say that what you have done now has made Di Lao and the entire Di family feel very embarrassed. This was originally something we agreed with Miss Si. We're giving you the latest supply, and you're going to be here for the night as a guest of honor. You're doing it like we're raping you, embarrassing Dicky."

The translator spoke angrily, as if in his eyes, the so-called transaction was as normal as buying vegetables and giving money.He said it carelessly, but every single word seemed to sprinkle salt on Weng Linran's wounded heart.Her hand holding the shards of glass was trembling, clutching the sheet tightly to cover her body.Even if nothing happened, she still felt that she was really dirty at the moment.

"Di Lao, I'm sorry. If you want to pursue it, please put the responsibility on me. If I use my life to compensate you, can I write it off?" Weng Linran said, raised his hand and stabbed at the neck .She really wanted to kill herself, because Weng Linran really didn't know what was the point of living any longer.

If her death could prevent Di Lao from blaming Si Xiangyan, even if she had to die ten times, she wouldn't have a single complaint.At this critical moment, Di Lao suddenly reached out and snatched away the glass shards she was holding.Weng Linran's body still had the effect of the medicine, so he had no strength at all, so he lost his weapon easily.

"Miss Weng, I appreciate your courage. Tonight, just let it go." Glass shards pierced into the palm of his hand, and scarlet blood dripped on the bed sheet. Speaking in Chinese, she turned and left angrily.The translator glanced at Weng Linran, then at Di Lao's injured hand, and hurried to catch up, but before leaving, he still did not forget to ridicule Weng Linran.

"Miss Weng, let me tell you that you really don't know how to deal with people. You are just a subordinate of the Si family. It's rare that Di Lao thinks highly of you, so you should know how to be content. Look at what you are doing now, what is it like? I will tell Miss Si to ask the Si family to compensate Di Lao and the Di family for mental damage, I hope you are ready."

After the translator finished speaking, he closed the door with a bang, leaving only Weng Linran in the whole room.She was in a daze, as if thinking of something, she climbed out of bed in embarrassment and locked the door, then covered herself with a quilt, and curled up in the corner.She doesn't know what to do now, where to go, the world is so big, but there is no place for her.

"Is the tenant of 805 still there?" Driving all the way to the hotel in an express car, Si Xiangyan rushed to the front desk to inquire, but what he got was the news that Di Lao had left.It was as if she had been hit by a boulder in her heart, making her unable to breathe.Si Xiangyan knew that he was still a step late.The matter is a foregone conclusion, and she also lost Weng Linran.

"Give me the room card."

"Miss Si, I'm sorry, Di Lao had an order before he left, the others..."

"I'll say it one last time, give me the room card." Si Xiangyan's voice was full of coldness and threat, and he looked into her deep brown eyes.The front desk lady felt cold behind her back, and hurriedly handed out the room card.

After taking the room card, he ran all the way into the elevator, and the slow lifting speed made Si Xiangyan feel that every minute and every second was a torment.After finally reaching the door, she opened the door with her room card, only to find that there was still a lock inside.In desperation, Si Xiangyan didn't care too much, raised his foot and kicked the door, and kicked the exquisitely decorated wooden door open with a loud bang.

It's just that Si Xiangyan didn't make any preparations for coming so suddenly, so he forgot what to say at this moment.The room was in a mess, Weng Linran's high-heeled shoes, clothes, and the most intimate underwear were scattered on the floor.The white sheets were full of wrinkles, and the pool of blood in the middle hurt Si Xiangyan's eyes.She looked at Weng Linran who was curled up in the corner with dull eyes, walked over to her distressedly, and hugged her.

"Are you... okay?" As soon as Si Xiangyan said this, he immediately began to regret it.Being sent to another man's bed by his lover, and losing a woman's most precious first time, how could Weng Linran be okay at this moment? "Weng Linran, is there something wrong with you? Give me a little reaction." Seeing Weng Linran staring blankly at the ground, and the corner of her mouth bleeding from her bite, Si Xiangyan touched her back and thought. To hug her up, at this time, the man spoke.

"I want to take a shower."

"Okay, I'll take you back to Si's house to take a bath now, okay?"

"No... too dirty... I'm too dirty..."

"I'm sorry." Weng Linran's whispered words made all of Si Xiangyan's preparations collapse in an instant, and she felt her nose turn sour, and she didn't know what to say to comfort her.What she did caused the current situation, Weng Linran is now like an empty shell whose soul has been taken out, and all vitality has been burned out.

"Then let me wash it for you, okay?" Si Xiangyan helped Weng Linran up, and went to get the quilt on her body, but before she moved, Weng Linran curled up again as if stimulated. On the ground, buried his face in the corner, not letting himself see. "Don't..." she whispered, her tone was pleading, which made Si Xiangyan even more sad.

"You're not feeling well, let me help you." Si Xiangyan tried her best to comfort Weng Linran, but the longer she stayed here, the more Weng Linran's body trembled. It was a severe cough and retching.The situation was so stalemate, seeing Weng Linran buried his face in the quilt, trembling incessantly.Si Xiangyan frowned, and finally backed away slowly, standing at the door of the room.

"Go and wash, I'll wait for you outside." After Si Xiangyan finished speaking, Weng Linran poked his head out again.Seeing her stumbling into the bathroom, and hearing the sound of the lock being locked, Si Xiangyan leaned his head against the door, covering his aching heart.It has been a long time since she experienced the feeling of being so sad and caring for someone.

The cold water poured down from the top of his head, and Weng Linran scrubbed his body vigorously, but he always felt that washing like this was useless.She repeated the movement of rubbing her body mechanically, unwilling to stop even if her collarbone and neck were scratched by her nails.Listening to Si Xiangyan at the door asking if she had washed well, even though the other party couldn't see her, she still shook her head, her legs softened and she knelt on the ground.

It was beyond her expectation that Si Xiangyan would come over, but the other party's considerate care did not make her feel as flattered as before.Weng Linran noticed that the first thing Si Xiangyan saw when he entered the door was the bloodstains on the bed, and he would definitely think that something happened to him and Di Lao.He really wanted to be with Si Xiangyan like crazy, even if he was used as a tool, he didn't care.However, she also has her self-esteem, she would rather be treated like a bed partner or a tool by Si Xiangyan, and she does not want a love that is obtained because of guilt.What's more, nothing happened between her and Di Lao.

The wound on the neck pierced by the nails began to bleed, dripping down with the water, Weng Linran covered his heart, and slammed his head to the ground forcefully, repeatedly hitting it.But the more the impact, the more tears she found in her eyes.She didn't want Si Xiangyan to find out that she was crying, because she was just an extremely cheap trash that could be thrown away after use, and she had no right to be sad at all.

However, I feel so uncomfortable in my heart, if I don't cry out, I will really die.