Jellyfish under cherry blossoms

Lin Liunian looked straight ahead of the tombstone, where Gu Kong's photo was in sight. He wanted to see his life from Gu Kong's perspective.

He spoke softly to Gu Kong, like whispers between lovers: "I resigned, even if I escape to the ends of the earth, my body will still be filled with your shadow, I don't want to run away, I want to open a room in Jincheng Cafe, tell Zhou Sheng to give me the trademark, okay, who told you to take this name first, I don’t even know what name to choose now.”

"Then buy a small house near you, planted with cherry blossoms, the pink and white ones, come and see if you want to see it, don't stop coming because you hate me because of the past, I didn't do anything wrong, you first It's all your fault for leaving me."

Lin Liunian just leaned on it like this, feeling exhausted, he really wanted to sleep like this, but he was very unwilling. They were clearly together back then, why did they separate again? Fate really likes to play tricks on him so much. Leave him alone.

He was trying to recall what he did wrong at the beginning, but his brain was out of control, and he couldn't remember many details. He just remembered that they got back together for about two months, during which time Gu Kong came to pick him up from class every day. He felt that the long days of summer had been frozen under the verdant and verdant sycamore trees of the school, and he hoped that this could always be the case.

He tried his best to go back to his memory, and finally found a little suspicion. It was the last time they went to eat before they parted.

At the dinner table, he took advantage of Gu Kong to go to the bathroom, and took out the medicine box that he had carried with him for more than a year. He had to take the medicine on time, otherwise Lu Chuyuan would be angry. Lu Chuyuan was almost never angry with him, but once Just because he forgot to take the medicine, Lu Chuyuan didn't talk to him for a day. Although he couldn't remember it, Lu Chuyuan told him how many dangerous actions he unconsciously did when he was seriously ill. Knowing that Lu Chuyuan was worried about him, he didn't want him to worry, so he consciously formed a habit.

Gu Kong saw it. Lin Liunian hurriedly put away the medicine, but Gu Kong grabbed his arm and hid. Gu Kong frowned: "Are you taking medicine? Why didn't you tell me when you were sick? What kind of medicine is this?"

"Well, cold medicine." Lin Liunian panicked.

"I don't know if you have a cold or not?" Gu Kong squatted down in front of him, eyes level with him, and asked gently: "You can't joke about this, and don't hide it from me. Be good, tell me, what kind of medicine is this?" ?”

Lin Liunian understood that this kind of thing should not be hidden from Gu Kong. He himself is an unfortunate person suffering from an incurable disease, and the last thing he wants to see is that the people he cares about have the same experience.

He hesitated for a long time, and finally said: "Lukang."

Gu Kong asked: "What kind of medicine is Lukang?"

Lin Liunian pursed his lips tightly and lowered his head, not knowing what to say, Gu Kong was anxious, and turned on his phone to search.

A long section of official drug instructions made him understand slowly. He pinched the phone tightly and buckled it on the cushion, forcing Lin Liunian, who had been trying to avoid his eyes, to look at him.

"Depression, when did it happen?"

It's over, he is angry, why does he always make the people around him angry.

Lin Liunian started to get scared, his shoulders trembled, and he said, "No, it's mild, I'm already healed."

Gu Kong looked at him trembling and his heart ached, he gently hugged Lin Liunian into his arms, patted him on the back, and said softly, "I'm still taking medicine when I'm done, and I'm lying to you again." Me, why didn't you tell me."

Lin Liunian leaned nostalgicly between his clean clothes and said, "I'm afraid of you, afraid of me."

Gu Kong cherished his hair and kissed him, and said, "I've slept with you for so long and I haven't seen you wake up and stab me to death in the middle of the night. What am I afraid of you? I'm afraid you will bear the pain yourself."

Lin Liunian hugged his knees against the tombstone, buried his head in his knees,

It seems that since that day, he has often seen a lot of lingering sorrow in Gu Kong's eyes. He seems to be always pressed by something, and it is difficult to break free. After that, there is no Gu Kong in his world. After graduating, he chose the audit that had the most business trips. He didn't want to stop himself. As long as he kept walking, the sense of guilt and guilt would not catch up with him. This escape lasted for several years.

"It's all my fault." Lin Liunian said to the tombstone.

If he wasn't so fragile, he wouldn't have lost Gu Kong.

The cemetery was filled with evening light, and Lin Liunian was awakened by the ringing of his mobile phone, which was Zhou Sheng's call.

"Hello." Lin Liunian's voice was a little hoarse.

Lin Liunian held his phone in silence for a while, and responded briefly. After hanging up the phone, he decided to leave. As soon as he got up, he was overwhelmed by overwhelming dizziness, which was more violent than any previous hypoglycemia.

It's time to take medicine.

Just as Lin Liunian reached into his pocket to touch the medicine, his movements stopped, no, Gu Kong is still there, and he couldn't let Gu Kong worry about him, so he put the medicine back and stood quietly for a while before leaving the cemetery.

"Oh, it's like this. I have the key to Brother Kong's house here. All his things are there. If you want to keep something, I'll ask someone to give you the key."

Gu Kong's house, the place where he also stayed for a month, he wanted to visit.

It was already evening when he got the key. He walked heavily through the familiar streets, walked to the door full of memories, and inserted the key.

His hand paused slightly. For a moment, he wanted to escape. He was absolutely sure that there was something inside that he couldn't bear no matter what. Gou live, without Gu Kong, live alone.

He unscrewed the door, with a wry smile hidden in the darkness and dust.

How to live without Gu Kong.

Once after that day, Gu Kong invited him under the sycamore tree at the school early in the morning, and said to him, "I have also checked, your illness is the same as mine, and you need very regular care, eat healthy and have a healthy schedule. There is also a moderate amount of exercise, and I will wait for you here every morning in the future, and go for a run together."

Lin Liunian was attracted by the boy in sportswear in front of him, and he couldn't take his eyes off him. Before the sun's rays fully shone out, he had already seen the light on Gu Kong's body.

His physical strength was not as good as Gu Kong's, and occasionally he was a few steps behind Gu Kong, and Gu Kong would wait for him. He seemed to vaguely remember what Gu Kong said when he was running ahead of him.

"Even if I'm gone, you have to take care of yourself, take good care of your body, and don't be unhappy."

When he opened the door of Gu Kong's room, Lin Liunian couldn't hold it anymore. He slipped and fell to the ground, his eyes were covered by a spray of water, his vision gradually became blurred and hot, and his heart throbbed so painfully that it was unbearable.

Lin Liunian lost his voice: "I take good care of myself, I haven't taken medicine for a long time, can you, come back, Gu Kong..."

Hot tears ran across his cheeks, wrapping all their happy memories and regrets, rolling down into the dust, never to return.

Everything and every object in the room was like a sharp knife, piercing his already scarred heart, and he was already overwhelmed.

Lin Liunian forced himself to open his eyes and remember all of this, which he owed to Gu Kong.The moment he got up, he felt dizzy again, and he fell backwards, hitting the desk with a muffled sound, and the drawer was shaken open a gap.

Lin Liunian looked over, stretched out his hand and opened the drawer as if attracted by something, and saw a cowhide notebook, covered with a layer of dust, lying in the middle of the drawer.

The moment he saw the notebook, Lin Liunian seemed to be drawn by something. In the past, there was a thread connected to this exquisite notebook. He took it out and opened it, as if he had opened the redemption.

After many days, those who took the annual leave have returned to their posts, and the taste of the new year is stubbornly resisting, and it is bright red on the side of the road.Lu Chuyuan has been bored at home these days, his green beard has sprouted, he was still worried, and finally couldn't help it.

Lin Liunian's condition was wrong, the more he thought about it, the more wrong it became, and he slapped himself hard, how could he let Lin Liunian leave alone!

In a panic, he contacted all of Lin Liunian's acquaintances, and kept looking for friends from college, even high school and junior high school, but to no avail, until finally he found Gu Kong's good friend Zhou Sheng.

Zhou Sheng told him about his encounter with Lin Liunian, and suddenly remembered something, and said, "Oops, Gu Kong's family, Lu Chuyuan, you buy a plane ticket and go back to Jincheng right now, and I'll find you as soon as I finish the work." , something may have happened to Lin Liunian."

Lu Chuyuan was completely empty in an instant: "What did you say? Can you explain clearly what happened?"

Zhou Sheng said: "Lin Liunian went back to Jincheng and asked me where Gu Kong's cemetery is. Then I gave him the key to Gu Kong's house. He should have gone."

Lu Chuyuan was so anxious that he went crazy: "You fucking don't stop talking, what happened to Gu Kong's family?"

Zhou Sheng also became nervous and said, "All of Gu Kong's belongings are in his room, including a notebook..."

The two booked the fastest flight to Jincheng, but when they arrived at Gu Kong's house, all they saw was Lin Liunian lying on Gu Kong's bed with his eyes closed, holding a notebook in his arms, occupying half of it neatly, as if he wanted to Leave a place for someone, quietly like falling asleep, but never wake up again.