growing up porcelain doll

◎The new year is coming as scheduled, but it seems meaningless to Gong Qing and Cheng Yu. The hustle and bustle outside has nothing to do with them. The two lost minds have their own thoughts!

The new year is coming as scheduled, but it seems meaningless to Gong Qing and Cheng Yu. The hustle and bustle outside has nothing to do with them. The two lost minds have their own thoughts, and they don't even know how to go back to school that day. impression.

Gong Qing slept in the dormitory until the next afternoon. The hangover felt really bad. Even when she woke up, she was still groggy and uncomfortable.

He went to the bathroom to wash up briefly, and when he came back, he sat on a chair and asked his brother on the upper bunk: "How did I get back?"

The brother's name was Zhao Hongfei. Hearing this, he turned his head to look at Gong Qing, and said with a sneer, "It seems that you really drank too much yesterday. We were playing games and I heard someone say why you and your brother disappeared. Originally I thought you were going to the toilet, but no one came back after waiting for a long time, and we didn’t answer the phone calls. We were anxious to find someone everywhere. It turned out that your brother’s roommate found you on the roof. You were lying in your brother’s arms You are so drunk that you can't even open your eyes, and your brother is not much better. It's really okay for you two to huddle on the roof in such a cold day."

"What then?"

"Of course I took the two of you down and took a taxi back. The KTV is so noisy and it doesn't have a big place, so we can't put the two of you there overnight."

Gong Qing looked at the phone with a groan, only to find that the battery was dead.After thinking about it, he still didn't charge it, he just stuffed it under the pillow, thanked Zhao Hongfei, and went out with the book.

Only Zhao Hongfei grabbed the edge of the bed and shouted loudly: "Hey, where are you going?"

"Library." Gong Qing's voice sounded in the corridor, and disappeared after a while.

Everything that happened last night was too chaotic, Gong Qing needed to find a quiet place.He sat in the library and flipped through the book in his hand. After a quarter of an hour, he still didn't read it. The words suddenly looked like a heavenly book, and he didn't see why after reading it several times.

He threw the pen on the table and buried his head in his arms helplessly.Although I can't remember what happened after the fragmentation, but the memory before the fragmentation is still vague.Thinking of the soft touch of those four lips, it was heart-stirring, but the slap that followed was indeed painful.He unconsciously touched the cheek that was slapped yesterday, and it seemed that he still felt a little hot now.

How did things develop like this?Why did the secret that had been kept for more than three years be broken last night?

Can't read the book, can't figure out the problem, Gong Qing just feels that his brain is full of bricks, so heavy that he can't lift it up.In the past, he tried every means to restrain himself to avoid this kind of thing from happening, but now that it really happened, he really didn't think about how to deal with it.

In short, all the previous efforts were wiped out, leaving only a piece of chicken feathers now. He always remembered that the slap his elder brother gave him was the attitude of his elder brother.

He just stayed in the library in such a daze until the library was closed at night, without even eating.The temperature at night in the early winter in the north is very low, but Gong Qing can't feel the cold standing on the wide square. The starless night sky is as lonely as his heart at the moment.

At the moment, Cheng Yu is not much better. Although the kiss last night mostly shocked him, it was followed by bewilderment and helplessness. He never thought that his younger brother not only likes men, but also this man. The man is still himself as an older brother.

The worldview collapsed too quickly, and he needed time to digest and resolve this matter.

He really wanted to call Gong Qing and ask him to come out and have a talk. He thought he was responsible for the situation. If he could find out what was wrong with his younger brother earlier, if he could pay more attention to and care about his younger brother, if As an elder brother, if he is more qualified, perhaps such absurd things will not happen to his younger brother.

However, as soon as he picked up the phone and saw Gong Qing's name, he could think of Gong Qing's distraught appearance last night and the grievance and pain after being slapped.What can I say on the phone?Comfort him or blame him?He didn't know how to deal with the thought of his younger brother loving him for more than three years.That slap has already been slapped, is it necessary to use another slap to bring him back to the right path?He couldn't do it, because after all, it was his precious brother who was so dear to his heart.

In this way, the two of them did not take the initiative to contact each other in the next week, but they were also full of worries.

In the past, Gong Qing thought it would be difficult to keep a heavy and absurd secret alone. The three years of hiding and enduring made him feel tormented and painful. , he wanted to tell his elder brother desperately, at least he could make himself happier even if he died or lived.But now, all his thoughts and impulses became clear in front of the elder brother, but he didn't feel relaxed at all. The attitude of the elder brother was like an immovable mountain, which made him breathless.

He knew that he had done something radical, so he didn't dare to ask his elder brother to forgive him. He still missed him, cared about him, but he lost the courage to face the problem calmly. He let himself escape with a self-punishment mentality. Confused thoughts, busy from morning to night every day.He would not bring his mobile phone with him when he left the dormitory every day. When he came back, he would look at it. He was both sad and glad that there was no message from his elder brother. If his elder brother did not forgive him, he would have one more day of redemption.

In the end, it was Cheng Yu who broke the deadlock.One day after calming down for more than a week, he suddenly saw some of Gong Qing's roommates in the cafeteria. Said: "Why isn't Gong Qing with you?"

Zhao Hongfei was a chatterbox, and he went up and down the bunk with Gong Qing, and when he heard Cheng Yu's question, he rushed to answer: "He is about to become a fairy now."

Cheng Yu had some bad premonition, frowned and asked, "What do you mean?"

Zhao Hongfei: "It's winter and it's going to be winter vacation in a while. He gets up and runs before dawn all day long. After taking a shower in the morning, he goes to class without eating. If he doesn't have class, he goes to the library and experiments. I stayed there for a whole day, and I came back late at night, so when I asked, I said I went for a run again. Alas, it’s a good thing to love to study and exercise, but you have to eat three meals a day on time, it’s only half a month No, I think he has lost a lot of weight, and his dark circles are quite serious, which is not a good state of study and life in any way."

Cheng Yu frowned and listened to this long list. After listening to it, his eyebrows furrowed. He felt like a fire was burning in his heart. Xie quickly left the cafeteria with the lunch box in hand.

Gong Qing felt uncomfortable or wronged, she could do anything, but she couldn't torture herself and hurt her body, this was the most unbearable thing Cheng Yu could do.

Cheng Yu had no class in the afternoon, so he thought about going to the laboratory building first, but he didn't see Gong Qing after searching around, so he went to the library, and found him in the study room after searching the seventh floor.

He looked at Gong Qing's focused profile and didn't go up to disturb him. The fire that was suppressed in his heart at noon disappeared completely after seeing Gong Qing. Qing opened the book a little further away, but silently stared at Gong Qing's back and couldn't take his eyes off it.

He found that although Gong Qing's shoulders and back were thin, they seemed to be much wider than before, and the greenness of her youth faded away. This body gradually began to have a man's line, but when did these changes start?he does not know.

In Cheng Yu's impression, Gong Qing seemed to have always been that cute and beautiful porcelain doll, the younger brother whom he could always take care of and hold hands with.He ran or walked in front, and when he turned around, he always saw a gentle and bright smiling face. He walked forward desperately, wanting to be a role model for his younger brothers and sisters, and more importantly, he wanted to be the support of his younger brother who had a rough fate. , But while he was moving forward, he ignored that his younger brother was also growing up, and he was also becoming an adult like him, a man who could think independently, choose independently, and even take responsibility independently.

Cheng Yu is always used to appearing in front of Gong Qing with a protective attitude and as an older brother. He wants to take care of him more and bear more for him, but he never thought that his step by step approach would be very important to Gong Qing. would be a huge burden.In the final analysis, he had neglected Gong Qing's growth, and he didn't even know what his younger brother was thinking. Fortunately, he still called himself "the mad devil who loves his younger brother", so he couldn't help laughing at Gong Qing's back.

At nine o'clock in the evening, Gong Qing finally came out of the study room, but just went downstairs and took two steps on the square before stopping again. After thinking for a while, he still didn't go back to the dormitory, turned around and walked in the opposite direction. He is going to the playground.

Cheng Yu followed behind Gong Qing calmly, watching him step into the playground and set foot on the track. In the cold weather, wearing only a thin sweater, he started running in the howling cold wind. He became thinner and thinner in the night, and suddenly he couldn't stop feeling distressed, why bother?

Seeing him run around twice, Cheng Yu finally couldn't bear it any longer. He picked up Gong Qing's coat from the ground and chased after Gong Qing. When he was about to catch up, he shouted loudly, "Don't run away!"

Gong Qing's face and hands were numb from the cold wind. Maybe it was because he was too tired these days, or maybe he didn't eat much today. He felt a little uncomfortable. He knew that the sweat on his forehead and nose was not He was hot but empty, but he didn't want to stop, he ran against the wind almost masochistically, even his internal organs were shaking inside his body, warning that his physical strength was about to run out.

It wasn't until he heard the shout behind him that his torn consciousness seemed to be clear for a moment.Panting heavily, he stopped and turned around to see his elder brother's face clearly in the hazy night. His heart seemed to be lifted up high, and then his eyes felt dizzy, and the high-lifted heart followed his body He fell heavily, so fast that he only had time to open his mouth and call "Brother" to the person who came.

"Gong Qing!" Cheng Yu was so frightened by this sudden change that the three souls lost two souls, and hurried forward to protect Gong Qing's head before he hit the ground.

Fortunately, there were not only the two of them on the playground. Several young couples who were walking not far away heard the accident and rushed to help. Everyone contributed water and snacks, and a senior from the medical department even made him a simple The examination told Cheng Yu that he was exhausted and had a bit of hypoglycemia. Fortunately, he didn't fall too hard just now, otherwise he would probably break a bone if he fell on the cement brick.

Cheng Yu was terribly frightened by Gong Qing's fall, and after thanking everyone, he hurried to the hospital with his ancestor on his back.

Gong Qing was lying on the hospital bed with a pale face, and the slight sunken cheeks made him look even sicker and haggard.Not only was he exhausted and physically exhausted, the extremely irregular diet during this period not only caused him to suffer from acute gastroenteritis but also weakened his resistance. He was blown in the morning and evening for several days, and today his body was finally overwhelmed and developed a high fever.

Cheng Yu watched Gong Qing's water bottle after bottle. During this period, Gong Qing only became sober for a while when he was admitted to the hospital, and then fell into a coma again.The white lamps, white walls, and white bedding in the ward made Gong Qing weak again. Cheng Yu suddenly disliked this place very much. His brother shouldn't be lying in this lifeless place.

Such Gong Qing pierced his heart, no, it should be said that his heart was bleeding, he had never felt such pain.

He endured the pain in his heart and reached out to touch Gong Qing's hair. It seemed that the hair was still wet and cold at night, and the scalding all over his body didn't make him look any warmer. The big boy who was about 1.8 meters tall was wrapped in a pale quilt. It still looks so weak.Looking at this face, he suddenly thought of Gong Qing at 7 o'clock. That winter when he fell into the water, he was the one who carried him to the village clinic. Was the little Gong Qing who was sent to the hospital as helpless as now?

He thought for a while, the reason why Gong Qing was hospitalized these two times was because of him, did the promise he said to himself to take good care of and protect his younger brother really come true?Back then, Gong Qing who fell into the water woke up in the hospital and clamored to call him to comfort him, so what about Gong Qing now?After waking up, will he continue to dodge and leave, or will he sensibly restrain himself and continue to suppress his thoughts in order to please himself?

No matter what kind it is, his heart can't stop being sad and distressed. His brother shouldn't always be so sensible, so brave and so used to wronging himself.