all i want is a man

The first time I saw Xiaoyu was in a gay bar, and the unique breath and color of MONEYBOY flowed from his body.In the middle of Lin Yuan's arms.

The moon is dark and the wind is high, and ghosts are fascinated.One encounter, one to buy, one to sell, a small hotel, an hourly room, a romance.Perhaps, it is a reincarnation.

Due to the long-term absorption of various people such as "chicken", "duck" and "rabbit", the hotel finally attracted the attention of the anti-pornography and anti-illegal departments.During the surprise inspection by the public security organ, Lin Yuan and Xiaoyu were found to be engaged in illegal sex trade and were arrested on the spot.

When asked the reason for engaging in illegal activities, Xiaoyu was open-minded, MONEYBOY, routine work.Lin Yuan agreed.Only Lin Yuan knew that Xiaoyu's eyes and mouth looked exactly like Xia Xuechen.

Those who are really tempted will never let go.Whether it's a cocoon, or retribution, Lin Yuan's injury is due to Xia Xuechen.

Lin Yuan was released five days later.Several police officers took a serious and responsible attitude and directly called the principal's office of N University. "Because there is no precedent for the time being, the impact is bad." In the end, the school decided to give Lin Yuan the punishment of expelling him from school.Informing Mother Lin is inevitable.

Overnight, Lin Yuan became a star of N University. His quilt was still in the corridor by some good people in the dormitory, and his face and books were scattered all over the place.No one wants to take the initiative to talk to him.

The second day after Lin Yuan returned to N University, Lin's mother arrived.This time, Lin Yuan could only take her to a hotel near the school.

"Mom..." Lin Yuan's voice trembled violently.

"What did you do?" The dusty mother Lin bared her teeth and claws, her aging face was full of anger, more precisely, disappointment.

"Mom...I..." Lin Yuan sobbed and went to hold Mama Lin's wrinkled hand, but Mama Lin shook her away.

"You'll be happy when I die!" Mother Lin slapped herself hard on the face without knowing where she got the strength.

"Mom! Mom! Don't do this! Mom—" Lin Yuan's tone was almost pleading.

"Tell me, what did you do!" Mother Lin panted heavily, looking very struggling.

"I... I was caught by the police for adultery with a man outside!" Lin Yuan's throat was extremely sore, and he held back for a long time, and spoke out about his behavior in a fit of anger.

"You..." Half a minute of silence, followed by an unimaginable sudden realization. Mother Lin's eyes were wide open to the extreme, her mouth was half-opened, her face that was gray due to fatigue suddenly turned blue-gray, and her old and thin body He collapsed and fell heavily on the concrete floor of the small hotel.

"mom, Mom, Mom--"

Mother Lin is hospitalized.

"Mom, it's time to take your medicine." Submissively handing over the pills and warm water, Lin's mother stubbornly pushed them away.

"Xiaoyuan, you hate me, don't you?" Mother Lin sneered with a smile on her lips.

"Mom, what happened? You are confused." Lin's mother has a weird temperament. In this situation, Lin Yuan was afraid that something bad would happen to her, and now something happened to him. He was pessimistic and kept wiping away his tears. .

"Hmph! You hate me for always making you do things you don't like! So...now you are so angry at me...you...you are going to piss me off...you...good! Well done!" Due to anger, Lin Mother's breathing became more and more rapid, as if there was a big bellows in her lungs, her face was pale, but her eyes were still cold and stern.

"Mom, don't be angry. Let your breath go." Lin Yuan hurriedly cheered for Lin's mother, but his hand was still dodged, and Lin Yuan stared blankly at the air in a daze.

"You don't need to... worry. I can't die." Mother Lin simply turned over with great effort, her back facing Lin Yuan.

"Mom, go to sleep for a while. I put down the pills and porridge." Putting down the things, Lin Yuan exited the room resentfully.

As soon as Lin's mother recovered, she dragged Lin Yuan to meet the leaders of N University.

Along the way, he never stopped pointing and pointing at Lin Yuan.

"Die gay!"

"shameless."

"What a disappointment to see him!"

"nausea!"

"I still have the face to see people!"

"..."

Mother Lin didn't know that Lin Yuan had become a disgrace to N University.Seeing the sensible and motivated boy turn into a scourge, and feeling the eyes of other people poking Lin Yuan's back, she realized that Lin Yuan was finished.

"No need to go. Go home." Mother Lin's decision.

Lin Yuan had no choice but to leave N University.

Also overnight, the news that Lin Yuan was ordered to drop out of school spread like wildfire in the village, creating a commotion.

"Mrs. Lin, why doesn't your son go to college? Is there a good unit that wants it?"

"Big sister, Xiao Yuan is not too young anymore, it's time to find a wife. I used to dare not speak when Xiao Yuan was studying outside, but now I have to hurry up while Xiao Yuan is young."

"I've been out fooling around for a few years, why don't you come back?"

"Leave college students alone and come back to be a farmer? Nothing good!"

"Drop the chain!"

"I don't know why it made me come back."

"Looking at Mrs. Lin's face, there must be nothing good."

"The Lin family is hopeless!"

"..."

Except for his own study room of only two square meters, for Lin Yuan, there is no place that is quiet and safe at the moment.Every word and sentence is like a steel needle piercing the heart.Once upon a time, he was the pride and model of the village——

"Mrs. Lin, Xiao Yuan is the most sensible. Just wait and enjoy the happiness."

"Xiaoyuan, you are really promising. Go to university and marry a wife from the city."

"Lin Yuan is a college student, and he will definitely not come back in the future."

"In the surrounding villages, who doesn't know Lin Yuan? An educated youth."

"The Lin family will definitely develop in the future."

"..."

Who ever thought that in just a few months, the people are still those people, but the people's arguments are quite different.The more gorgeous you are when flattering, the more thorough you are when criticizing.Mountain villager.Lin Yuan cursed in his heart, but there was still nothing he could do.

When it was time to light the lanterns, the people in the village dispersed.Mother Lin started to make dinner, and Lin Yuan helped.

"Mom, I'm out of vegetable oil at home, I'll go buy some." In a humble tone.

"Oil? Does our family still need to eat oil?" His brows were raised, his eyes contemptuous.

"Mom, how do you eat without oil?" asked jokingly.

"Huh! It's so funny! What are you doing eating oil? You're full, so you can make people laugh at you?" He glanced around contemptuously and said sarcastically.

"..." Could it be that I have become a big joke now?

"White porridge, white film, pickled vegetables. Whether you like it or not. You are not from the city anymore!" Hengmei said coldly, and took his own food.

"..." Why even you have to taunt me like this?Why?

"Do you think it's easy for you to go to school? You don't live up to your expectations, and you do shameful things! You are ashamed and thrown into the city!" Mama Lin's face turned red and white, and her voice fluctuated from high to low, full of emotion. The disdain on the face.

"..." Am I so unforgivable?I didn't kill or set fire, and I didn't break the law. Am I just so miserable?

"Who is like you? Apart from not being proud of me, you are also embarrassing me! Where do you want my old face to be? Do I want to live in the future?" He picked up a pair of chopsticks and poked Lin Yuan's head fiercely, spitting Fly.

"..." Could it be that you support me just to let me win you over?I'm having a hard time right now, and I don't want to.

"Now I know I regret it? Why didn't I think of it when I messed with wild men? You are still a college student? Why don't you die? I really raised you for nothing! There is no distinction between men and women! If you want a dog, you can watch the door! If you raise a pig, you can sell it Money! Coil a sheep to eat meat! Feed a group of chickens to hatch eggs. What about you? What will you do? You are useless now! You are now a mason, and Xia Xue is not as smooth as Xia Xue! If I were you, I would die Hey..." With his hands on his hips, his face twisted, his right index finger poked on Lin Yuan's head.

"Enough!" He rushed out of the door and rushed into his study.

The shouting outside the room did not stop at all, and intensified.

Lin Yuan's body twitched and shook violently.Big tears came out of my eyes, and they dripped on the table, big and big, crystal clear and full.In the haze, a familiar face came into view.

"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..."

"Xiaochen, what's wrong?"

"Brother Xiaoyuan, they bully me, I can't beat them. The pants are also dirty. My brother will definitely beat me. Huh..."

"Hey, don't cry, Brother Xiaoyuan will help you scare them away."

……

"Xiaochen, all the bad kids have run away. Man, don't cry."

"Yeah. Brother Xiaoyuan, you're so kind."

"Stupid boy. Your face is stained. Brother will take you to the river to wash your face and pants. Xiaochen, don't run around."

"Hmm! Brother Xiaoyuan, are you my brother?"

"Silly boy, of course. Brother Xiaoyuan loves Xiaochen the most."

"Brother Xiaoyuan, you are so kind."

"Okay. I'll take you home now. It's so dark that no one will see your naked buttocks. You don't need to cover your buttocks. My brother will teach you how to sing, okay?"

"Yeah!"

"The dark sky hangs low/The bright stars follow/The insects fly/The insects fly/Who are you missing/The stars in the sky cry/The insects fly/The roses on the ground wither/The cold wind blows/The cold wind blows/As long as there is You accompany..."

Xia Xuechen's laughter and singing were still in his ears, and Lin Yuan couldn't help laughing.Such a childhood, such love and touch, so pure, so warm.Xia Xuechen, an unforgettable name.

The insects in the mountain village are always very active at night, without the noise of human voices, everything is harmonious and peaceful.That night should be the same as tonight.

At [-]:[-], the last lamp in the village was also extinguished.

At 12:30, he vaguely heard Lin's mother talking in her sleep.

People in the village get up early, so they have to hurry up.

Two must-write letters, one to Xia Xuechen and one to Lan Feng, both in the form of text messages.

At two o'clock in the morning, all the text messages were sent.Thinking of something, he formatted his phone, tiptoed to the toilet, and threw it in.Hearing the sound of "plop", he smiled reassuringly.

At two o'clock in the morning, he found a bottle of 666 in a corner. He couldn't wait to lightly open the bottle cap, and the pungent chemical smell evaporated. He glanced at it leisurely, raised his neck, and drank it leisurely, as if drinking the most mellow wine in the world. .While he was awake, he hurriedly opened his stationery bag and took out the knife for sharpening [-]B pencils. In order to avoid blood stains from being exposed, he used a thick towel to pad his arm, and he stroked his left hand three times. Immediately, three beautiful red lines On his arm, it was just like the bracelet he wore for Xia Xuechen when he was a child, bright and joyful.He was afraid that he would not be able to use enough force to cut the aorta, so he added some force to the three beautiful red lines.After making sure it was accurate, he waited leisurely for the loss of vital signs, like waiting for a work of art to slowly take shape.

In a daze, those familiar and unfamiliar ones are walking through the scene one by one, laughing and cursing, gagging, so lively.I was not as good as beasts or birds when I was alive, but now I am always full of excitement.Thinking of Lin's mother's face the next morning, thinking of Xia Xuechen's smile, he smiled and went.

In two or three hours, the cock will crow.Roosters flitted across his drapes as roosters catapulted skyward from their nests.Summer is getting stronger, and the greenness of the mountains has the potential to conquer every mountain, which is a good year.

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