all i want is a man

When Chen Fang found Lin Yuan, he was stiff and breathless, and three bloodstains on his left wrist were clearly discernible.The quilt is rendered in large swaths of bright red, like a tumultuous rose, coquettish and warm.The corners of his lips were raised slightly, his face was serene.He won.

"Smelly shameless! You have to die outside. What is the matter with you standing here? Get up for me! Get up for me! Although I am fierce all day long, I still love you! Without you, How do I fight with others? I have raised you for 20 years, and you will repay me like this? If I had known this, I would have let the wolf take you away. Without you, who will support me? Why is my life so hard? Ah? God, you are so ruthless! You don’t even give me the last hope.”

The above is Chen Fang's true heart when Lin Yuan was buried in the earth.

The Lin family was originally a common surname in the village, but unfortunately, Chen Fang was tricky and mean, and often did some unimaginable and harmful things.Gradually, everyone began to avoid her.Funeral is a big event in the countryside, and relatives, friends and neighbors will help.Because Chen Fang lost the hearts of the people, no one was willing to help.Those who arrived temporarily were just some young lads who played well with Lin Yuan.

Based on the principle of out of sight and out of mind, Chen Fang did everything quickly.Buying coffins, shrouds, looking for Mr. Yin and Yang, digging the cemetery, and inviting folk artists. In just 2 days, Lin Yuan was buried.

Xia Xuechen finally failed to see Lin Yuan for the last time.When I rushed back to the village, there was a new grave on the mountain, white paper was flying, and the dust had settled.The wind is flying in the ears, and the burned and unburned coins of various colors are chaotic in the wind.

With a "plop", Xia Xuechen threw her knees on the ground, kicking up a small area of ​​dust.Tears came to make trouble again disobediently.Xia Xuechen knelt down, let the wind blow, let the tears flow, and remained silent for a long time.

The sun is setting and the night is slowly opening.

"I came here from Y University without sleep all day and all night. You treat me like this?" He raised his head and let the wind dry his face covered with sewage.

"Five days ago, you were fine. I... I hit you, with a hot, crisp sound. Now, you are lying quietly inside. Why are you doing this? Why? Why? Even if Chen Fang treats you No, even if you are expelled from school, so what? You still have me. You are only 20 years old. Why are you so selfish? You are so selfish that you leave me alone. You are so cruel! Lin Yuan, I hate you You. You would rather hurt yourself than let me approach you. You said it was for my own good, but have you ever asked me? You are always used to carrying all the problems by yourself, always thinking that you are strong enough, always thinking Others, you are always like this, always like this, always! Why do you do this! Why don't you let me share with you? Why don't you tell me your worries? Why do you treat me like this? You are so cruel .In your heart, I'm just an outsider. Isn't it? So, you are always guarding against me, aren't you? Isn't it! I'm asking you! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me clearly! Lin Far away! Damn you, bastard! Why did you end up with yourself? Who allowed you to do this? You say you love me, liar! It's all a lie! I hate you! I hate you--"

But, I love you.

It's time to hold the lanterns, one, two, three, five, and the village is dressed up.Tired birds return to their nests, chickens are put on shelves, whose children are crying loudly, whose dogs are making noise, and who is shouting their children's baby names loudly at the entrance of the village.When I first saw the fall, 14 years have passed, and the strong atmosphere of urbanization has not changed the appearance of the village in the mountain much.Even at dusk, Xia Xuechen could clearly distinguish every family in the village.Those mountains that we climbed together, those rivers that we walked through together, those trees we planted together, and those stars we counted together are all there.Under the night, they become lonely and lonely, waiting for those who have remembered them with heart to be tender and moved.The gap between the fingers is too wide, and finally I can't keep the years, and that person is free.

For Xia Xuechen, the night is long and the road is long.

Unsteadily, Xia Xuechen rushed back to Y University before May [-]st.

Although there is no official holiday yet, the downstairs of the dormitory, the gate of the school, and the bus stop are already full of people. Men and women in brightly colored clothes are chatting and laughing, chatting about their beautiful vision for the holiday.

Back in the dormitory, only Wang Yun was there.

"Huh? Xuechen? Why are you here?" Wang Yundong grabbed a handful, grabbed a handful here and there, and packed a big bulging black backpack.

"I..." was asked and didn't know how to answer.

"The rest of the people are not at school and have been skipping classes for a long time. Those who go home go home and travel. I am on the train tonight and I will leave later. Hey, my bag is packed. The day before yesterday everyone said you It's said that this May Day, you are the most anxious." Wang Yun picked up the bag and began to check if there was anything missing.

"Oh." That's the tone.

"I don't forget anything, okay. Xuechen, I'm leaving! Don't be sullen. Take advantage of the holiday and have fun for a few days. No matter how hard it is, it will pass. Bye--" the sound of closing the door.

Everyone is busy in their own way.

"Bang bang bang! Bang bang bang! Bang bang!" There was a persistent knock on the door.

He opened the door in despair, with a haggard face.

Three seconds of silence, staring at each other.

Close the door and get insurance.

"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..." The visitor picked up Xia Xuechen, pressed his lips against Xia Xuechen's, and began to bite.

"Three days and three nights, do you know how I lived?" Continue to exert force, from the teeth to the gums, including the sensitive tongue, not missing a single thing.

"Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..." Xia Xuechen could only make an indistinct sound.

"Where did you go? Where's your phone? It keeps turning off. I'm so worried, I'm so scared." The bearded chin rubbed against Xia Xuechen's face, like a wounded child, begging for his mother's caress and comfort.

Sobbing slightly.

"Xiaochen? What's the matter? What's the matter? Huh?" Resisting the burning desire and a little bit of anger, he rubbed Xia Xuechen's back carefully through the thin sweater.

"Woo... woo... wow... wow..." The unspeakable anguish, regret and grievance that had been suppressed for a long time poured out, and Xia Xuechen burst into tears.

"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here. I'm always here. Cry, cry." Straightening her body, she hugged Xia Xuechen deeper, tighter, and closer.It seems that as long as there is less force, the person in his arms will die.

The name of the person who was afraid of losing the love in his arms was Xiao Chuan.After losing all information about Xia Xuechen for three days and three nights, he was resurrected.

The sound of laughter and frolic outside came to my ears.The depression in the room seems to have had brothers and is growing wildly.

"Do you love me?" the man with eyes swollen like carambola asked in the darkness.

Xiao Chuan also asked such a question.Even with extremely vulgar issues, as long as he can confide his sincerity, a sage cannot escape from vulgarity.

"Fool. Before, I didn't dare to say it easily. Now, I know that you are so important to me. Although it was only a short three days, I felt like three months, three quarters, Three centuries, three reincarnations." Blinking his eyes, he looked seriously at the dark eyes of the person in his arms, and tightened his hands holding the body of the person in his arms, as if to confirm that the tenderness at this moment was real.

"Xiaochen, look into my eyes." The foreheads of the person in his arms were pressed together intimately, so that they could remember each other more clearly, like a conjoined body with two heads connected together.

Even if Xiao Chuan didn't do anything, Xia Xuechen felt very safe listening to his deep and steady voice.Leaning on Xiao Chuan's firm chest, Xia Xuechen suddenly felt sleepy, so she simply didn't say or do anything, and just panted slightly.

"Xia Xuechen, I love you." Six words, direct and true.

Xia Xuechen felt that her wandering thoughts just froze in an instant, the child's bubbling blood stopped in an instant, and her heart shrank a little.His body was no longer his own, he was floating in the air.It wasn't until Xiao Chuan's thick and quiet eyelashes slightly touched his that he heard those six words that he usually felt vulgar and vulgar but now suddenly felt sacred and great.

This sentence was said by that person a long time ago.For the rest of my life, I could never hear him say that again, and suddenly felt a sense of time and space disorder in the past and present, and Lin Yuan's desolate silhouette gradually drifted away in the mountains.

Xia Xuechen's eyes were swollen with heat, and he couldn't even make a trivial whimper. Relying on instinct, he slowly closed his eyelids, followed his breath, and put a light kiss on Xiao Chuan's lips.

Xiao Chuan's kindness slowly eased the pain of Lin Yuan's passing.

At night, the two lay side by side.

"Lin Yuan committed suicide." The narrator's statement tone.

"You like him, don't you?" Xiao Chuan finally couldn't stop his curiosity.

"Do you want to hear it?"

"Ah."

A long story of pure love unfolds slowly.The owner of the story tells his own story, and the listener finds himself in the story.

"Xiaochen, do you love me?" Xiao Chuan's reaction was a question.

"Promise me one thing." His right hand tightly held Xiao Chuan's left hand.

"En." His left hand held Xia Xuechen's right hand even tighter.

"No matter what, you must never wrong yourself for me. Lin Yuan, you fool, rest in peace. I will be fine." Xia Xuechen said the following words to Lin Yuan in his heart.

To Lin Yuan

i never held your hand

You broke your arm because of me

I want to be happy

because I don't want you to feel sad

Evening of April 27, [-]

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