bad derailment

Chen Feng explained a lot intermittently, but all of them were ridiculously pale and naive to my ears.

"Xiao Yao, I don't know how to speak, I can only let you know in this way. I lied to you, but I was kicked out by my family. We were just together at that time, and I was too worried about gains and losses... too much I'm afraid you won't want me."

He paused slowly, lowering his eyes to hide his embarrassment and self-mockery.

"I know that you are not with me out of sincerity at all. I admit it, but I just want to feel valued by you, and I want you to spend more time with me. Is there anything wrong with that?"

I couldn't help asking: "Is the attention you want in exchange for cheating?"

"If you don't use this method, do you really care about me?"

He looked at me sentence by sentence and said, the corners of his eyes were slightly red and bloodshot, as if he had exhausted all his strength in one sentence.

Chen Feng knows me too well, this is the last thing that should exist between us.

I always thought that I acted very well, disguising superficial love as the real thing. I never knew that this was just Chen Feng's self-compassion and connivance. Maybe he had seen through my hypocritical heart earlier.

But he still wants to lie to me and himself, as if as long as this is the case, the fake will come true.

I sighed wearily, "Chen Feng, it seems that there is only one sentence between us to break up."

He stood up abruptly, and the chair fell to the ground with a loud noise. His face suddenly sank with heavy clouds, and he quickly stepped forward and grabbed my arm.

I almost felt that my bones were being held tightly by him, and I heard Chen Feng squeeze out a word from between his teeth.

"I disagree."

For a moment, he changed back to his familiar appearance, emphasizing repeatedly: "I will never agree."

"Do you think this is interesting? We can't go on acting anymore," I bit my lip and tried to calm my voice, "You are very tired from acting, and I am too, so let's just think it's over here, okay? "

He stared at me, as if he was going to dig out his heart to the bones in the next second and show it to me: "It's a light ending for you, what about me? Lin Yao, do you know what love is? Alone? I'm really so unbearable to you, you have to mention breaking up so casually? I don't care about you and Gu Mingsheng, or I can pretend that nothing happened. I just want you to share a little love Give it to me, you can even give it to him, why can't you give it to me? Every time you say you will change it, but have you really done it even once? "

He looked at me deeply hurt, like a stray dog ​​lost in the rain, hoping that my master could bring him home like before, no matter how helpless he was, he couldn't help but pat his head first, so that everyone The quarrels are washed away with the heavy rain.

But this time I can't do it.

"Since you know it, why ask me?"

This may be the first time that I have told the truth, in front of Chen Feng, every word of my heart.With the sound of every word spreading from the bottom of my heart to the bone marrow of my limbs, even breathing hurts.

I couldn't help but raise my head and look away, avoiding Chen Feng's hand holding me.He held it so hard at the beginning, but I just pushed him lightly and he let go of me completely, as if he knew that he couldn't keep me, whether it was hands or others.

"I'm not coming back tonight, you have a good rest."

After leaving these words, I took my things and opened the door. The moment I turned around, I saw that Chen Feng was still facing me, maintaining the same posture just now.

It seemed that it was raining around him, and the damp and cold silence wiped out the last trace of life. I lowered my eyes and closed the door forcefully.

At first, I just wanted to buy a ring for Chen Feng.

But the gift he gave me in return was too heavy, and finally overwhelmed the last straw between us.

I wandered aimlessly on the street, and the pedestrians who passed by me one after another seemed to have their final destination.I wandered among them, not knowing where to go, except where there is Chen Feng, any place is fine.

The sky was getting dark, and I had to stop my wandering steps and walk into a hotel on the street.When I was about to check in with the card, I found that there was no ID card in the wallet.

Everything was so unsatisfactory that even the heavens were against me, and after a while, it began to rain lightly.I stood at the door of the hotel and dialed Gu Mingsheng's phone until it rang for a long time, but there was no answer from the other end.

He rarely doesn't answer my calls, maybe he can't get away from something, or he just takes a break.I really don't want to bother him in such an embarrassing manner, but other than that, I seem to have no other choice.

I bought an umbrella, but my shoulders were still inevitably drenched by the rain. Once the wind blows, the coolness seeps through my clothes and sticks to my skin, making me feel cold.

I suppressed the chill, rang the doorbell of Gu Mingsheng's house, and sent him a message, but before I got a response, the door was suddenly opened.

"Gu..."

I raised my head, my voice was stuck in my throat, I looked at the person in front of me, my mind buzzed, as if I couldn't think.

"Lin Yao? Do you have something to do with Mingsheng?"

Du Yuchen was wearing a nightgown, which was the same style as Gu Mingsheng.He raised his eyebrows in surprise, his hair was slightly disheveled, and he asked me casually as if a little tired, waiting for my next answer.

I opened my mouth slightly, wanting to say something, but felt that I shouldn't say anything in this situation, and everything was useless.

I shook my head stiffly, took a step back, and the hand holding the umbrella handle was trembling with cold.

"Sorry to bother you."

Du Yuchen smiled slightly, as if acquiescing to my words, "It's okay, if it's not something important, it's the same if you talk about it another day."

Indeed, in the present situation, my affairs are not at all important.

"I thought I heard someone ring the doorbell."

Gu Mingsheng's voice came from far to near, and I wanted to turn around and run away almost as soon as I heard it, but it was too late, his figure suddenly stopped in place, his face flashed with astonishment and panic that I couldn't hide, and then he quickly walked towards I came and looked at Du Yuchen's face slowly sank.

"Why don't you tell me that Lin Yao is here?"

Du Yuchen still had that casual look, but his smile was a little colder, "You're in the room, even if I tell you, you can't hear me, and he doesn't have any urgent matters, why are you so nervous?"

Gu Mingsheng's eyes were full of deep meaning that I couldn't understand. He and Du Yuchen stared at each other for a while, and then looked away silently.

Du Yuchen raised his lips, turned his head and gave me an apologetic smile, as if saying 'I'm sorry for letting you see such a thing', and made the most reasonable explanation for me, the third party who broke in suddenly, with the attitude of the host.

"Xiao Yao," Gu Mingsheng finally looked at me. He seemed to have a lot to say, but in the end he only said with a dim light, "Do you want to come in first?"

I stood among them, as if I didn't fit in anywhere, the absurdity and sarcasm in my heart flowed through my body along the blood, and I almost couldn't maintain the expression on my face.

"No, it's the same as what Mr. Du said, I don't have anything urgent, it's okay to come back another day, I'll go first, you guys continue."

I saw Gu Mingsheng frowned quickly, showing a trace of pleading that I was familiar with, but until a long time ago, he just called my name, didn't come forward, and didn't say anything else.

He stood beside Du Yuchen, as if he automatically distanced himself from me.I didn't know what I was expecting, so I turned and left the corridor.

It's still raining, with no sign of stopping.I looked up at the sky, and my heart felt so empty that it didn't seem like I was sad, but more like I had been poached somewhere, and I couldn't even feel the sadness.

The phone in his pocket vibrated, maybe it was a message from Gu Mingsheng.He always likes to give belated explanations after things happen, just because he knows that I will never really get angry with him.

I didn't take it out to see, it doesn't matter anymore.