I can't see the stars in your eyes

The snow fell very heavily, flakes of goose-feather-like snowflakes fell down, onto the roof, onto the top of the trees, and covered the whole world. I put on a heavy coat, and felt the bone-piercing cold, so I couldn’t help shivering. Shrinking his neck, he looked at the leaden sky. There were several thick layers of snow on the ground, and any footprints that stepped on it were immediately covered.

Nan Xing should be at the school gate.

I raised my wrist and looked at my watch, it was seven fifty.

Just now when I walked to the second floor, I saw Xiyou and Dong Yue walking down the stairs with a smile, until they disappeared into the snow, but they didn’t find me. I looked back at the hall, and there were only a few students who didn’t have an appointment. Sitting by the fireplace, warming up by the fire, with textbooks in hand.

I stepped on the snow carefully and moved forward slowly.

I'm really looking forward to what kind of posture he will have at that time.

The school is strictly guarded and you are not allowed to go out twice a month, so I counted and I haven’t seen him for two months. We each have our own space. I am in class and he is sleeping; I am sleeping and he wants to sleep. Work, the phone has become our only communication tool for two months, but he always said that he was busy with work, and the phone time was very short. I always asked him what his job content was, and he kept evading me.

The current Nanxing is still a mystery to me.

I walked to the school gate unknowingly, even though he was hidden in the white scenery, I still found him.

"Nan Xing!" I waved my arm at him.

Today, he was wearing a dark black woolen coat with a khaki plush collar around his neck. He slowly turned his head to me, and then gently showed my favorite smile.

We bought a plane ticket back to Okinawa. It was a two-hour flight. I never let go of Nan Xing for a moment. I was always worried that he would disappear again, just like in the past.

I said, "Nan Xing, are you going back to Okinawa to visit your mother?"

He lowered his eyes: "No, I don't have any relatives there anymore." Then, he suddenly turned his eyes to look at me, "Xiao Yu, do you know why I left without saying goodbye?"

I hold my breath, this is indeed a question that has been buried in my heart for many years, why did he leave without saying goodbye, did not leave me any news, and returned to me after the traces gradually faded in my memory, what is this? Why.

He lay his head comfortably on the back of the chair, and said softly: "That year, my father's company went bankrupt, and my mother was no longer the noble lady who enjoyed all the glory and wealth. The two of them gave up everything in the family to pay off their debts." I sold them all. After that, we lived in a broken house that no one wanted. My life was full of their quarrels. In the end, they divorced. No one wanted me. I could only come here alone. Tokyo."

I interrupted him: "Then why didn't you come to me?"

"Is it useful to find you? What's more," there was a little forbearance in his eyes, and his lips trembled slightly, "Father used to be a business tycoon, but he was exploited by villains and led to bankruptcy. His network of contacts is extremely complicated. I will let our family go, if I come to you and they find me, I am worried that even you will be implicated."

He looked at me with anxiety and uneasiness in his eyes.

"You are worried that I will be implicated..." I choked up.

He looked at me for a while, and when our eyes met, he turned his head away again, and said flatly: "Well, if possible, I want to give you the best, not the sad parting of the world. "

I put my head down.

After a long time, I plucked up my courage, leaned forward and threw myself on his lap, tightly wrapping my arms around his waist. Whether he was surprised or not, I didn't take it seriously. In this warm atmosphere, I breathed desperately, Gently spit out two words: "Thank you."

Thank you God for allowing me to meet him for the first time;

Thank God for my second encounter with him;

Thank you for the reunion after he left without saying goodbye, which made me feel the weight of him in my heart, and also let me know that missing him is so heavy and so long.

……

Today, when this year is coming to an end, Nan Xing and I returned to Okinawa. There are too many memories here, and most of them are sad. Seeing the old streets and houses, I have the urge to cry, but I insist on laughing in front of Nan Xing up.

I pointed to the familiar house and said, "That's my home."

Then, we witnessed a strange housewife coming out and walking forward, and saw that the license plate hanging on the tile wall had already changed her surname.

Nan Xing added: "Hehe, we have changed."

I smile.

The mother's tomb is built on the hillside near the sea, close to the cliff, and under the cliff is the endless sea. The mother's soul rests here. It should be so magnificent to hear the roar of the sea.

Long time no see.

I reached out and stroked the tombstone lightly, and a thick layer of ash fell.

Nan Xing and I cleaned up my mother’s tombstone together. We stood in front of the monument and looked at the black and white photos in the frame. When I was young, I witnessed a bloody massacre with my own eyes, and I can still remember my father's scarlet eyes, and when I opened the door to see my mother's hanging body, it still shakes in my mind...

I closed my eyes tightly, my expression must have been pained.

Heart like a knife.

"Xiaoyu? Xiaoyu? Wake up~"

I gradually opened my eyes, and the sound of waves surged in my ears, as well as the vast sky, which seemed empty.

I turned my head and saw Nan Xing. I smiled. Fortunately, I didn't have nothing.

We briefly worshiped my mother, and then walked down the mountain.

Nan Xing asked me: "Xiaoyu, you never mentioned to me the news of your mother's death before, I was shocked to see her grave."

When I mentioned my mother, my head suddenly became dizzy. Fortunately, the mountain road was not very long. Nan Xing helped me onto a huge rock, and I buried my head in my knees, my nose was sore.

"My mother was killed by my father. When I grew up, I realized that it was because of my father's jealousy. I was too young to understand anything. When I came back from school, I saw my mother's dead body with my own eyes, which made me grow up and still do evil. Meng, I dreamed that my mother turned into a ghost and came to me, and I was woken up several times by fright," I cried as I spoke, biting my lower lip tightly.

He gently embraced my shoulders, sighed lightly, didn't say a word, just looked at the vast sea ahead.

My mind is still full of scarlet, and I seem to be able to smell a strong fishy smell. All of this seems to be back to my childhood, the after school that I don't want to think of.

I cried and said: "... When I woke up in shock, I was alone by my side and could only cry alone. I was really helpless at that time. I had no friends at all since I was a child, and no one would look at me directly. I , I am too humble."

"Little Feather."

I looked up and he was looking at me with gentle eyes.

He didn't laugh, maybe because he knew my story.

When he was cold, his cheekbones protruded a bit.

His fingertips touched the corners of my eyes, which was enough to make my tears evaporate instantly, and then he smiled hard at me: "Don't think about it, I don't want you to be sad, I just want to see you smile through it in the future .”

I sniffed and tried my best to smile.

"At least you have me now, let's not talk about the past." He whispered in my ear.

Listening to the waves rolling on the beach, there is no snow in Okinawa, and the sea is still blue.

I am a little intoxicated.

How wonderful it would be if the sea was covered with snow.

"Little Feather."

Whispering in a low voice, a hypnotic force directed me to turn my head away, and he was gradually leaning towards me.

The face gradually enlarged, the beautiful outline, the turbulent waves were printed in the dark eyes, my sight slowly moved down, and I saw him lightly parting his cherry lips.

Puff, puff, puff...

My heart was beating so hard.

My eyes suddenly widened, and he kissed me instantly. I couldn't resist or move, so I just let him hold the back of my head and kiss desperately.

It was also the moment he kissed me, and I also knew my heart.

I like you, Nan Xing.

Even if we are thousands of miles apart, I will still believe in myself and find you.

We kissed on the rocks and heard the roar of the waves like a blessing;

We turned around on the bed, only each other's breathing was in our ears, and our eyes were blurred.

I like to just hug him like this, like to stroke his slippery back like this, like to be kissed domineeringly by him like this, a strong sense of security hits my mind.

He gently left my lips, half-opened his eyes, the sweat from his forehead dripped on the corner of my mouth, I could feel a sweetness, I smiled with satisfaction, at the same time, my lower body shamelessly Strong reaction.

"Xiaoyu..." He whispered my name in my ear.

That feeling is getting stronger and stronger, as if it is going to fill my body.

He kissed my lips again, but not as domineering as before, but with a deeper level of tenderness. He stroked my eyelashes and said softly to me: "Your eyes are so beautiful."

My frenzied heart was about to jump out of my chest, and I hugged his neck tightly.

Like the spring breeze caressing my neck, extending down, passing my body to the secret garden, closing my eyes gently, imagining that there is a clear fountain in the garden, and the water finally breaks through the defense line, spraying Out of it, the sweetest spring water is a surge of power to overcome difficulties and obstacles.

I shook my legs lightly, the feeling was so wonderful.

Slowly opening his eyes, his head shook slightly under my crotch.

My body is gradually floating, the eyes are white, the soles of my feet seem to be stepping on clouds, and I am floating towards heaven. I am still immersed in my feelings, completely intoxicated. From this day on, my body, my mind, my Everything belongs to Nan Xing alone, never to be separated again.

"Afraid?"

His soft words sounded in my ears like a call from heaven.

He hugged me tightly from behind, I smiled slightly, shook my head, and then, his big and generous hand clasped the back of my right hand tightly, saying that he was not afraid, but I was still very nervous and could not stop swallowing, At the same time, the fine sweat on the forehead dripped down the tip of the nose, and finally rolled down into the soft pillow.

His hands were tightly bound.

Something hot and fiery was rubbing against my back, and just as it was about to come in stiffly, his body shook suddenly, and then jumped up from the bed as fast as he could, and rushed to the bathroom, I heard Severe retching!

what happened?

I am busy sitting up from the bed!

He kept retching, and the sound was extremely painful. I climbed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I was shocked to see my favorite him, my favorite him, squatting naked on the marble floor, lying on the toilet. He kept retching, and what he vomited was water-like liquid, but his facial muscles were all twisted together.

"Nan Xing, what's wrong with you?" I rushed forward and hugged him.

But I didn't expect that he would push me away. I staggered a few times and almost fell, looking at him in disbelief.

He trembled like a sieve, his eye circles were red, and he looked at me with round eyes. It was the first time I saw him at this time, and I stood there for a long time. This was not him, not the Nan Xing who had given me tenderness before!

But I persevered and walked over, and finally came to him.

I looked at him and said with difficulty: "What's the matter? Nan Xing, are you feeling unwell?"

He gritted his teeth: "...Go, go!"

My tears opened again, overflowing my whole face, crying and shouting: "Nan Xing! I won't go! I won't go! As you said, we won't be separated, woo woo woo! Tell me Okay, tell me!" As I said that, I leaned forward and wanted to hug his trembling body tightly, but accidentally fell to my knees on the hard floor!

I still tried my best to climb onto his body and stretched out my arms around his waist.

"Go away! Don't! Don't touch me!..." He just pushed me away, and then threw up on the toilet bowl, still vomited clear water, and his face turned pale in an instant.

I was thrown to the ground by him, the pain came from my knee, I stood up firmly against the wall, now he is like a hedgehog, rejecting my embrace, rejecting everything from me, but why? , he refused to tell me.

In the mirror, I cried with red eye circles.

I said hoarsely, "Nan Xing, why did you..."

"Let me go! Never again, don't come to me! Go!" He shouted to me in an orderly tone, trying to support his exhausted body, and pointed at the door tremblingly.

Seeing me crying motionless, he yelled again firmly - "Go!!!!!!"

I was kicked out by his instant change in this way, so I had to put on my clothes silently, and walked slowly to the door. When I gently put my hand on the doorknob, I subconsciously looked back at the bathroom. He was sitting naked in the corner, violently Sobbing, and then after a brief lull, he rushed to the toilet again and started retching again.

I wiped the corners of my eyes, and finally walked out of the room.

I didn't leave, I just leaned against the door after closing it, crying so embarrassingly.

Nan Xing, what can you not tell me?

The tenderness before that was like a dream. When I wake up from the dream, where am I?