I can't see the stars in your eyes

I have a fever.

Lying on the bed, my eyes are looking at the ceiling, and I have the thermometer that Yuan Ye stuffed for me in my mouth. The cold touch feels like a ball of fire in my mouth. Like loose, do not want to move.

My brain is confused, I don't know how I flew back to Tokyo, and how I stepped into the room, Yuan Ye kept asking me what's wrong, what's wrong, I ignored it, I wish the person beside me at this moment was He, the person who took notes for me is also him, not that person...

"Don't go out, I'll ask for leave for you and the teacher, don't worry, I'll take notes for you."

"Beiyu, you have a fever, it's 39 degrees."

"What happened to you and him, can you tell me?"

"Don't do this, I will... be sad."

……

I frowned tightly, my head seemed to be poked by a thousand needles, I took the thermometer out of my mouth, raised my hand and squinted to look at it, the fever still didn't go away, the mercury column slid towards the 39 mark, I sighed softly Sighing, put the thermometer back on the nightstand.

My whole body was in full swing, I tried to sit up, and finally leaned against the pillow, I felt that my head didn't belong here, it was so heavy that I would fall into hell in a second, and then, I fell back into the bed in pain, I had nothing to do, I closed my eyes and wanted to take a nap, but I fell asleep like this, I couldn't tell if I was dreaming.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Yuan Ye's clear face.

I'm a little disappointed.

"Is it better?" he asked me.

I shook my head slightly.

He stretched out his hand to lift the bangs on my forehead, and when his fingers touched my hot forehead, he frowned tightly and said to me softly: "I asked you for three days of sick leave, you can rest assured, by the way , These are today's notes, I put them on your desk," he said, pointing to the desk on the other side.

I nodded.

I really wanted to say thank you to him, but my throat was choked up. His concern for me made me think of Nan Xing, the Nan Xing who was getting far away from me. After a long silence, Yuan Ye finally asked : "Bei Yu, don't ignore me, okay, since you said to take care of each other, then I have the right to know your pain."

He looked at me with pleading eyes, and I blushed immediately, and hurriedly turned my head away.

Afterwards, I said in a hoarse voice: "His name is Nan Xing. I saw him for the first time in a sacrificial ceremony when I was very young. He is the young master of a rich family. My status is humble. Just by chance, I will see him again." It was me who went to junior high school, and we became tablemates, and naturally became the closest partners."

"I can't forget him, even if he left without saying goodbye before the entrance examination." My eyes were full of deep sadness, I thought I was about to cry, but I tried my best to restrain myself.

Twilight falls.

The clock is ticking.

"you like him?"

After an unknown amount of time, Yuan Ye spoke slowly, and I stared at his black eyes in surprise.

Then I lowered my head, and for the first time in so many years, I questioned myself like this, do I like Nanxing, do I like it to the extent that I can’t extricate myself without him, or is it just because I have been lonely for a long time, and I will be accompanied by someone? I don't want him to leave, if that's the case, Yuan Ye can accompany me, but why...

There is a sense of loss, as if, if it weren't for Nan Xing, I wouldn't be able to lift my spirits.

In my hazy eyes, his figure gradually enlarged, but I knew that he was not Nan Xing, it was just the feeling of touch—the temperature of fingers touched my cheek, so familiar, like a bowl of sweet mint ice water.

"I," I can't describe this feeling, and I can't describe my feelings for Nan Xing in front of Yuan Ye.

He smiled at me slightly: "Go to sleep, you still have a fever."

He helped me turn off the bedside lamp, and the moment I turned around, there was a strong sense of loneliness.

When he woke up again, he didn't know what day it was, the desk lamp was on, and the gray sky outside the window, Yuan Ye was sitting at the desk, writing notes non-stop, there was already a tall pile of books.

"Yuan Ye." I called softly, got up gently, and my head was not so heavy.

He immediately turned his head, put down his pen, walked quickly to my bedside, and said, "Are you feeling better? You've been sleeping for three days."

I looked at him weakly: "It's been the third day since I fell asleep?"

He nodded.

I stroked my head, "I feel better, but, where is the medicine?" The medicine bottle on the bedside table was empty.

He went back to the table and said lightly: "I finished eating, and I didn't have time to buy it. I've been busy making up notes for you these two days."

"Then I'll go buy it," I said, and I climbed out of the bed. When I stood up, my head suddenly felt dizzy, and I almost fell down. Fortunately, Yuan Ye came to help me.

He said to me reproachfully: "Go back to bed, I'll go buy it."

"No." I spoke softly, staggered out of his arms, and hurried out of the room. There was a window at the end of the corridor, and there was a wind blowing through the corridor. It was a little cold. I shrank my neck and hugged Arms down the stairs.

When I arrived at the bathroom, I knocked for a long time but no one answered the door.

"Teacher, let me get some medicine, ahem..."

"Is anyone there? Teacher, cough, cough, cough!"

I leaned on the wall in amazement and walked forward. The window lattice was covered by a circle of ivy, and the frame had not been wiped for a long time, and it was full of dust. I looked inside, and there was no one. Holding a few bamboo baskets containing bright medical equipment, I sighed annoyed and left silently.

It seems that I can only go to a small hospital near the school.

I sat in a wooden chair with my clothes open, and the young female doctor slid her stethoscope back and forth on my chest, and raised her eyes to look at me from time to time. The medical record card with the doctor's cursive handwriting on it, I swallowed my throat and asked, "Doctor, doctor, am I okay?"

As if waking up from a dream, she pulled down the stethoscope and said, "Oh, it's okay, just pay more attention to rest and drink plenty of water." After finishing speaking, she stared at me for a while with a smile on her face.

I immediately stood up and bowed slightly: "Then thank you."

This is the only hospital nearby. The place is not big. The wooden floor creaked when I stepped on it, and the paint on the wall in the corner was also peeled off. back view.

I look back.

The door was ajar, and even though the man's back was facing me, I could still recognize him——Nan Xing, why is he here?Out of curiosity, I quietly walked around to one side of the wall, leaned against the wall, pretended to be waiting for someone, and listened.

"You must stop the medicine immediately and decisively!" the doctor gritted his teeth.

I sneaked a glimpse of Nan Xing's side profile. I haven't seen him for a long time. He has lost a lot of weight, the outline of his Adam's apple is obvious, and his eye sockets are sunken. I'm in control, I don't know when I'm going to have an attack, it's really painful."

pain!What pain is he enduring!

The doctor in a white coat sighed deeply, and said earnestly, "What if I say that your lifespan is only these two weeks?"

I hold my breath!

Nan Xing's eyes widened in shock, and he remained silent.

While flipping through the report, the doctor said: "Your examination report shows that the functions of various organs in your body are declining day by day, and a large number of cells are beginning to die. Based on various signs, I speculate that you can only live for two years at most. For a week, you think about it, do you still want to continue to use drugs? It will make your life shorter."

He stayed, looking slumped, his eyes glazed over.

I seemed to have been greatly frightened, turned around quickly, and rushed out of the hospital in a frenzy. I didn't care how many people I knocked down and whether I was injured. I ran desperately like a wild beast out of control. !

The doctor's words lingered in my mind, two weeks, two weeks, two weeks!poison!Nan Xing is taking drugs!

The person I used to depend on so much;

The person I used to admire so much;

The person who is still in love until now is actually taking drugs!And I don't know it!

Nan Xing, why didn't you tell me, why!

I was panting from running, and the moment I stepped into the school gate, I sprained my foot, I fell to the ground, touched the ashes on my nose, I tried to support my weak body, I didn't know when I cried, tears crawled The whole face was covered, and my crying attracted many classmates who were watching. I felt that I was so embarrassed, so I quickly wiped my face and ran to the dormitory ignoring everything!

"Bei Yu, you!..."

I passed the oncoming grapefruit, and Dong Yue, who was following behind, was hit hard by me. I just apologized softly, and ran to my room as if I was in a wasteland. Look at them, I'm not one to show grief.

I rushed into the room and started rummaging through the boxes for anything of value.

"Money, money!……"

I searched frantically, but Yuan Ye ignored my greetings.

I dug out my phone, Mp4, sunglasses, wallet...

Throw it all in your pocket!

"Bei Yu, what are you doing!" Yuan Ye grabbed my shoulder, forcing my eyes to stare at him. He saw my eyes swollen from crying, his face trembled slightly, and asked me, "What happened?" What, didn't you go to dispense the medicine, why did you... tell me as soon as you came back!"

I muttered to myself: "Nan Xing is going to die, he is going to die, I still have, I..."

"What are you talking about?" He gripped me tighter.

I bit my lips tightly, tears kept pouring out, and just passed out like this.

I recalled a lot of memories, the scene when Nan Xing and I met for the first time, the sacrificial event, the candied haws in his hand caught my attention, he was wearing the most beautiful kimono, and I was just the simplest coarse cloth, the sleeves were still There were patches from my mother; he wore new clogs, and I wore old leather shoes with a small slit at the top. Dad wouldn't buy me fancy new clothes.Our eyes seemed to be frozen in that year forever. I stared blankly at the candied haws in his hand. He knew I was greedy. If it wasn't for his mother's discrimination, maybe he would share his things with me.

It hurts, my head hurts...

The second time we met was when we were in junior high school. We really got to know each other and became best friends. He is my only friend. I don’t know if I am his only one. Seeing him being raped by so many girls Surrounded, I finally realized that I was thinking too much.

In my memory, he is bright, like a sunflower that always smiles towards the sun. I miss our tender time in the hotel so much. How could I have thought that a boy who has always been gentle and sunny would be infected with drugs? !

Why on earth, Nan Xing avoided me from the beginning, and he was forced to be with me when I was desperately looking for him, but he never told me how he came here these years, even though I wanted to know so much , he is like a cloud of fog, lingering in my heart.

no!My head is going to explode!I opened my eyes in pain, I was lying on my own bed covered with a quilt, Yuan Ye was sitting by the bed, looking at me worriedly.

"you're awake?"

I nodded and slowly got up.

I caught a glimpse of the plastic bag on the bedside table, which contained my family's money. I bit my lip and fell into deep thought. Yuan Ye asked me, "Can you tell me? I don't want to see you like this."

"Nan Xing didn't tell me about his drug use, why didn't he let me know that he was contaminated with drugs?"

I heard Yuan Ye taking a deep breath gently.

My eyes were slack, and I smiled bitterly: "Everything is God's will, the teacher in the clinic is not there, so I can only go to a small hospital near the school to see a doctor and dispense medicine, and then I heard the conversation between him and the doctor. Two weeks, huh, is this all arranged by God?"

I sniffed imperceptibly, and the corners of my eyes were slightly cold.

After a long time, his voice became a little hoarse, and he said to me: "Maybe, I can understand your mind. At this time, whatever you want to do, just do it."

I looked at him in astonishment, and he was giving me a warm smile.