Unable to say beyond the GL-Sequel

We started taking cooking classes together. From Monday to Wednesday nights, and all day on Saturday, I ran to catch the bus every day after work, and sometimes accompanied her to work when I was not in class. On March 3, the company distributed sanitary napkins, shampoo and toothpaste. Because of the joining of the proprietress, our company has Women's Day benefits for the first time, but Brother Qiang also has them. Yan thinks our company is a magical company, and they issue vouchers for Bread Heart Language.

The days passed slowly with each other caring for each other every day. Yan began to go through various procedures for going abroad. Although she hadn't left yet, a feeling of imminent parting had begun to disturb my nerves. Not confident, after all, she is going so far away, and our relationship is not so strong that it cannot be broken, so I can only comfort myself: what is yours is yours, and what is not yours is useless, just thinking that she has left Possibility, I don't know how I'm going to face life without her.

After reading the book "Night Flying West" she brought me, I was very touched. Although the heroine has the courage to pursue what she wants, her love life is still unsatisfactory. No matter how successful a woman is, no one is worth it. It is also a great regret in life to have the people who share with you by your side.

Every time we meet, we have to take a car for an hour and a half to two hours. It’s a bit too tiring. The landlord of the house I live in just happens to be renovating. I can live in her boyfriend’s house. I don’t want to go there to join in the fun. Anyway, I have to move After discussing with Yan, I decided to move to a place closer to her, so that it would be more convenient for us to meet.After the two of them filtered various rental information, they saw a listing in the Douban LES group. After work, I contacted and went to check it out. Although it was not close to Yan, it was more than a little bit closer than it is now. , The roommates in the shared room are also very easy-going, and the transportation is also convenient. Although the rent is a bit expensive, it is rare that everything is good. I called Yan at the time to talk about the general situation, and then paid the deposit.I went back to peace and talked about it. She was very reluctant for me to move away. After all, we lived together for almost five years, and I also hated her. She is the only one who can be called a "friend" by my side. If I leave her, I will I am completely alone, although I may be able to contact and meet occasionally, but that is different.

On March 3, I moved. I moved directly from the western suburbs of Shanghai to Pudong. Yan helped me unpack four boxes. I moved there once at night. Sitting on the bed in my new home, I felt a little empty in my heart. There was an emotion close to collapse, but I didn't show her reluctance for me. Perhaps, there was some sadness deep in my heart that I didn't even realize. It's just that there are some paths, I made a choice, no matter how hard it is, Also try to make yourself stronger and fight for it.

Going online at night, I saw Yan’s message:

"Honey, Douban is suffering again, and I can't log in. I finished moving my house today. Although it's troublesome to think about it, it's actually okay if we do it. Someone taught us that all difficulties are paper tigers. Of course, the key is With your lover, you can do anything. Baby, you are about to start a new life, I hope everything goes well for you, I will always be with you, come on!"

I feel very comforted in my heart, no matter what I lose, I will not be afraid if she is by my side.

After the proprietress joined me, the boss asked her to be my deputy. I was very reluctant. It was such an awkward position. She was very positive and sincere, but sometimes she didn’t understand and had to make decisions. She was the proprietress, and I didn’t It’s easy to talk about her, and after moving to and from get off work, I have to take a car for more than an hour every day, so I gradually have the idea of ​​resigning.People are like this. Once they have the idea of ​​resigning, it seems that everything in the company is not pleasing to the eye. I used to be able to bear it, but now I don’t want to bear it. I bowed my head and reconciled, but the harmony has been broken.

I began to submit resumes on various websites, and two companies made appointments for interviews. I bought a few more formal suits, and Yan sent me matching leather shoes and bags. The company wants me.After comparing Yan and I, we decided to join the company with stable rest days and low salary, but we could learn something.

I submitted my resignation letter to the boss, and when Yan came to the customs to see me, the boss happened to come to the customs. The two of them looked at each other for at least 30 seconds. I don’t know what they were thinking. My own guess is: we The boss looked at Yan and thought to himself: "You are the woman who took He away from our company. With your conditions, what do you like about her? What is it about her that you like? So many women like her? "Yan: "I'm sorry, why did you leave with me? I just like her. What's the matter?" I looked at them and suddenly felt uneasy. I left my friends, the company, and all the environments I was familiar with. Is it worth it to contribute one-fifth of my salary to the rent just for a woman who says she wants to be with me for the rest of my life?I laughed at myself, I know my own personality too well, if I fall in love, it’s not worth it, as long as I can do it, if I don’t go all out, even I will look down on myself.

Of course I am not a saint, and I am also disturbed by various changes, but she will always comfort me.

"Anyway, no matter how you develop, I don't dislike you. I will support you, baby."

"But I want to make myself more capable, and I also hope that I can make more money."

"Well, it's a good thing to have ideals. I firmly support it. I just want to tell you that you have something to rely on."

At the end of April, Yan scored 4 points in the elementary theory exam for Chinese cooks, and I got 100. Although I said: "You have two points more than me, I'm not happy.", I still admire her in my heart.

On May 5th, I got a few points higher than her in the primary practical exam for Chinese cooks. I'm not happy to change her this time, but I'm just talking.

Starting in June, I continued to learn the intermediate level of Chinese cook, and Yan began to make the final preparations before going abroad, and the time to see each other became less and less. During the Chinese New Year, she said that she would move out to live with me, but it turned out to be impossible. We often quarreled because of this. She felt that I did not understand her enough. I felt that she did not understand me enough. She felt that I was forcing her too fast. Now, I think she didn't work hard on our relationship, and everyone is not very happy.

I admit that I can't speak very well, and what I obviously think in my heart is: see her more, spend more time with her, and when I say it, it becomes: why can't you come out, you say no without even trying, don't feel too bad Are you sincere?In fact, you only need to say one sentence: I miss you, and that's it.I would hate myself for not being qualified to be annoyed by her. When I needed help, I couldn't be by her side in an open and honest way. I really wanted to, but her parents...In the relationship between the two of us, what can never be touched is her family relationship. She always says: "When the time is right, when you are good enough, let them at least feel that you are not with me because of something. Now, when they get old and need someone to take care of them, we can be together for the rest of our lives, why do we have to be obsessed with these few months..." Every time I hear this, the rational side of my heart feels that what she said is wrong Wrong, the emotional side feels that she is not brave enough.Does filial piety mean sacrificing the time you spend with your lover?Because I didn't love my parents, I couldn't appreciate that kind of strong family affection, and I couldn't appreciate her embarrassment between me and her parents, which caused her to suffer a lot of grievances and made her feel tired.

On June 6, she went abroad, and I couldn't send her to the plane. I just sat on the bed at home, as if once again, those certain lives became uncertain.