Unable to say beyond the GL-Sequel

After she went abroad, at the beginning, she was not used to the language and life, and she suffered a lot. I felt sorry for her. If I had money, I could go out with her and share some of the burden for her. In this regard, I I can't fulfill my responsibilities as a partner at all, and I also realize that there are some gaps that can't be bridged without intention.The only thing I can do is to work hard every day, study hard, video chat with her after work, talk with her, and get to know each other's current situation.

During the more than a year since she left, many things have happened. I passed the intermediate certificate of Chinese cook, because it is easier for chefs to go abroad. The chef chops boiled chicken and sauced duck every day, and works from 12:12 am to 8:8 pm. He takes one day off a week and often wakes up the next day. His hands are so swollen that he can't even hold a knife tightly, and he is often cut by the knife.She began to adapt to the life there, studying and working part-time at the same time, it was all kinds of hard work, she slept late every day to catch up on articles, and was busy with work.Gradually, she has more friends around her, enriches her spare time life, and spends less time with me, and then she will go out for travel and shopping. I don’t think this is bad, it’s just that I feel unbalanced. I want us to hurry up Together, working so hard every day, the money earned is only half of the previous salary, three-quarters of the rent was paid, and the cheapest food was chosen,

She said: "I have already saved a lot. Besides, money is earned, not saved. Now that I have gone abroad, I will naturally go to the place I planned to go. I will not give up the opportunity to enjoy now for the sake of what will happen in the future." of."

I know that what she said is not wrong, and I also know that if she finds a partner with similar financial conditions as her, she will not have this kind of problem at all, because I have no ability to give it to her, so how can I selfishly resent her for relying on my own ability? Live a better life.

It’s just the same, my original life is not bad, I can give up my life in the office for our future, start from scratch as a cook who does manual labor every day, and I don’t take a day off during the Chinese New Year. Why can’t she be less Go out and play, save some money?That way we can be together sooner.Didn't it mean that there is a lifetime?Didn't you say you want to hang out together?So why can't she sacrifice a little bit?

On March 13, 3, I moved to a five-star hotel as a junior cook of Western food. It was not so hard, and I had at least two days off a week. She was still very busy abroad, and the food was not very good, maybe because My job is better, and she is relieved of me, so she doesn't care so much about me.I can't help her, and she needs to care about it. Gradually, she feels that chatting with me every day is a waste of time. She often goes out to do things without giving me information. Sometimes I can't bear to wait until I fall asleep. When she woke up, she still hadn’t come back. When I asked her, she just said: I forgot, or I didn’t bring my mobile phone with me, and the security abroad is not good. I told her, “If you don’t give me information, I will be worried.” Every time I would say: "I'm sorry, I won't do it next time." After I finished speaking, I still couldn't find anyone.

In August 2013, she returned to China, and we were all fine in the past few days. I suddenly had the illusion that I thought too much about everything before, and she hadn't changed.A week later, she went back again. She was still a little clingy to me for the first few days, and then she became the same as before. When I asked her, she only said: "I'm an old married couple, and I still do this every day. It will fade away slowly.”

"But why don't I feel that way about you?"

"you are not normal."

"I just feel that I am very tired from work every day, and I can't be with each other. Let alone talking about each other's situation, isn't the relationship getting weaker and weaker? You used to say: 'No matter what, I have time for me.' "

"Don't you think it's boring to say this every day? Now is the time to concentrate on your career. Since all the things you talk about are unnutritious, then there is nothing else to say."

I'm sad to hear that, is it because I'm a hypocrite, or you have changed.

On October 10, I worked overtime for two days. On October 2, Harbin Dumpling’s Qianqian got married. After work on the 1st, I went to a single party with her. I haven’t seen her for more than a year. She lost a lot of weight. She and her boyfriend were in the At the same time, her mother was firmly opposed to it, and she talked with a man introduced by her mother, and I was quite surprised when I suddenly received the news that she and the person she liked were going to get married.In the evening, we ate fish pot first, drank a few bottles of beer, then went to KTV to sing, drank red wine and beer, and went to a roadside stall to eat barbecue and drink beer. On the one hand, we were happy for her, on the other hand It was because I was in a bad mood. I drank a lot. This was the most I drank since the break-up dinner at university. When I got back to her house, I was still sane, but my stomach couldn’t bear it long ago, so I rushed to the hospital. The bathroom was holding the toilet, Qian Qian came in to see me, and I kicked him out. I didn’t want to be seen by others in such a state of embarrassment. I was woken up by the sound of smashing glass. Before I opened my eyes, I heard her mother smashing things in the living room and scolding her. I heard from her that her mother suffered from depression. I didn’t expect it to be so serious. It was difficult for me to go out as an outsider, so I could only continue to pretend to be asleep. After a while, the sound stopped, and when I heard the sound of the door opening, someone came in and sat next to me and patted me.

"You said you little girl, you don't sit in the office well, what kind of cook are you doing?" I recognized her mother's voice, and I only responded.

"Aunt!"

"The hair is so long, you go to sleep, I'm leaving."

I was limp all over, so I didn't get up to see her off. Seeing that I woke up, Qianqian gave me a bottle of milk.

"You said you can't drink, why drink so much?"

"I'm happy for you."

"Drink this." She put the milk on the bedside table, and called the makeup artist to come in. We all kept silent about what happened just now. I got up, leaned on the bed, and sipped the bottle of milk. After a few mouthfuls, my stomach began to churn again, and I vomited for a while.

I looked at the makeup artist and Qian Qian, and smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry, it's too embarrassing, I drank some slices yesterday."

"You still understand in your heart, it's not a fragment, hey, hey, the bridesmaid I made an appointment with won't be able to come today, so you can be my bridesmaid."

"Isn't it? I have a big tattoo on my body, are you kidding me?"

"No kidding."

"Okay, wait for me to get up and eat something." I said as I lifted the quilt and got up.

The makeup artist joked, "Oh, I've seen them all."

"Don't be afraid, I have what you have." I wore shorts and a sports vest, got up and put on jeans and a T-shirt, sat on the edge of the bed to stabilize myself, and slowly drank the milk. , went to the living room to drink a bowl of porridge.

"Hey, Qianqian, where's the mask you put on yesterday? Give me one, look at my face, it's so bad."

"It's in the refrigerator."

I put on a mask, waited for the makeup artist to give me money to finish the makeup, and then painted me a light makeup. The hair was draped over the shoulders, the tattoo was covered, and the tube top skirt was really incapable of habit. I always felt that it would fall off, and I wore it again. In high heels, I can't even walk fast.

After giving her a red envelope, I waited for the groom to pick me up. I took a car ride and filmed exterior scenes before arriving at the hotel where they held a banquet. The master of ceremonies arranged for me to present their rings. When the wedding march sounded, I walked up to the stage and presented Ring, seeing the groom's and her hands shaking, tears almost flowed out of his own eyes, and he forcibly endured it back.

When the master of ceremonies asked Qian Qian who she was going to give the bouquet to, I tried my best to avoid her eyes, but she still called my name.

"Then let the bridesmaids come on stage and introduce themselves."

I was holding the bouquet, completely speechless, I looked at her, looked at the people in the audience, tears just flowed out, thinking of the crazy scene of her mother in the morning, thinking of the trembling hands when they exchanged rings , Thinking of an unblessed marriage, heterosexuality is still like this, and my future is even more confused.I stabilized my mood.

"I'm a very good friend of Qian Qian." Turning her head to look at Qian Qian, her eye circles were also red.

"I want her to be happy."

"I also hope that you can find your other half as soon as possible."

"I will."

I already have my other half, but Yan, do you think I am your other half?

When I accompanied Qian Qian to the backstage to change clothes, someone stopped me.

"for what?"

I turned my head and saw Lan and a man looking at me.

"Why are you here?"

"My sister is engaged. This is my boyfriend. I saw your back just now and thought it was you. You are very beautiful."

"Oh, my friend is getting married, and I will be the bridesmaid today, so I can watch it."

"It's really beautiful, then I'll go there first."

"Okay, say hello to your mother for me."

How small is this world? The banquet ended after seven o’clock in the evening. Qian Qian and the others continued to hang out. Waiting for me to come back to video, although I am very tired, my heart is warm, and there are people waiting for me to go home.

He told her about the wedding and about Qian Qian's mother.

"I think your friend is too anxious. There must be a reason for her mother's strong opposition. Is it worth it for a man to turn against his mother who has raised him for more than [-] years?"

"No matter what the reason is, I think it's a bit too much for my daughter's wedding to be like this."

"No matter how patient they are, the relationship between men and women has been going on for a long time. The elders will see that it is really suitable, and they will not just object. Your friend may not love that man that much, it's just a rebellious psychology."

"I don't know, I just feel that there are some things, since the parents can't stop them, they can only be behind their backs. After all, that person is the one who will be with her for the rest of her life."

She shook her head, noncommittal, and then told me a story about her childhood.

When she was young, her family was not very rich, so her father took her to school by bicycle every day. One day when she came out late, her father was afraid that she would be late, so he rode as hard as he could. She was not late that day, and then she watched other drivers The father of a classmate who went to school was late, so she just talked to the teacher and she was fine. She looked at her father's sweaty back and thought: Is it worth it?Just for these few minutes, and then she cried for the whole morning that day, feeling sorry for her father, and she said that her eyes began to moisten.

I am both envious and guilty, envious that she has a father who loves her so much, and guilty that my relationship with her will hurt her father, but I still want to be with her. I admit it, I just want to be with her.