Unable to say beyond the GL-Sequel

On Valentine's Day, I bought a bouquet of white roses. I guessed that she would like lilies, but I still stubbornly bought white roses. The first time I gave such a bouquet of flowers was inspired by the movie "A Letter from a Strange Woman" Xu Jinglei in the film, the woman who stubbornly and exclusively loves the man who often forgets her name, in my impression, her character also has such stubbornness, she refuses to accept the people around her, and only guards the love in her heart.

"You are the second person who gave me flowers. The first one was the one I love. She sent my favorite lily."

"I guess you like lilies, but I still want to give you white roses. I'm going to go home in a few days. I haven't been home for a long time. You, take good care of yourself."

After taking the train for two days and one night, when I returned home, I saw a familiar expanse of scenery, with white snow everywhere and rows of poplars that had lost their leaves standing in the snow.I got off the bus, called my grandparents, and walked to the fork in the middle school. I saw them and waved. They were stunned for a moment before they recognized me.

"Still so thin." Grandma touched my face.

"Our family has moved again, right in front." He pointed to the tile-roofed house not far away.

"I haven't been home for three years."

"Well, Spring Festival travel tickets are hard to buy, there are too many people, have dad and uncle come back?"

"I just left a few days ago, you should come back sooner."

I didn't talk anymore, I haven't seen my dad for a few years, there is always a gap between me and him, which can't be eliminated, and I don't even want to go back to my grandparents' house, there are too many bad memories here.Grandpa followed behind, still as silent as before, only pursing his lips and smiling.

Entering the yard, there are several sheep, several fruit trees are planted on both sides of the front yard, some chickens are raised in cages, and a small white pig is raised in the back yard. The house is very large and spacious.

"Why do you still raise so many chickens, sheep, etc.? How tiring, and now the family is not short of money."

Grandma smiled embarrassingly, "Your uncle said that the ones bought outside are unhealthy, so it's better to eat the ones you raise yourself." I knew she couldn't be idle, and I was afraid that I would talk about her, so I made this excuse.

Grandpa has already gone into the house to cook. I entered the house. It is very warm and has heating. In the past, the house used to burn iron stoves. The back room is still the kang they are used to sleeping in. Once I sit on it, the warmth that I have not seen for a long time makes my heart warm up.

Called Snow.

"You are rich, and you travel long distances."

"It's okay, are you okay?"

"It's still the same."

"I'll be back to Shanghai in a few days, and I'll be the first to look for you when the time comes."

"I'm troubled by you like this. Hey, I won't tell you anymore. My mother called me."

"goodbye!"

I hung up the phone, feeling a little dazed.In the evening, I ate the long-lost dumplings, and during the dinner, my grandma mentioned my personal affairs again.

"Why, you're not young anymore. Your second uncle's sisters are all married, so you should find someone. But if you want to find someone with power, you can find someone who is rich. Save money. being bullied by others."

"Grandma, can the rich and the powerful fall in love with me? Don't just think about it."

"Your father is just too honest, and has been bullied by others. You don't know... At the beginning..." Grandma started talking about those things in the past endlessly. I looked at Grandpa and saw his helpless expression. I knew that Grandma was sick again up.She is trapped in her own imaginary world, and no one can convince her that mental illness is the most terrible disease, there is no cure, and even relatives are useless, so I subconsciously fear very stubborn people.

Going home this time is not destined to be pleasant. After visiting relatives, I have been physically and mentally exhausted for three days. In the middle, I called Xue at the long-distance bar. She was in good spirits. She said, I listen, listen to her talk about the idea of ​​her article, talk about the constellation, do you like that you are a Scorpio so much, and then you are disgusted as usual, what happened to you Pisces, I am not sorry for you, although I said myself If you want to hang yourself on your tree, the premise is that you always like me, and if you don't like me, why should I hang myself.Perhaps, this is not a long-term performance.

On the train back, I didn’t get a seat. I spent a day and a night in the aisle of the dining car. to Shanghai.When I got home, I didn’t eat any food, so I washed myself and hurried to Jianxue, taking the doll I caught for the first time and the ancient copper coins my grandma gave me. The red rope is woven into a keychain.

When I arrived at the Internet cafe near her home, I sent her a message: "Xue, I'm at the Internet cafe near your home. I have something for you. Let's have a meal together."

"I'm not at home now, I'm at school, you go back."

"Then I'll go to school to find you. I said I'll be the first one to see you when I come back."

After getting off the Internet, I only vaguely remembered the name of her school, bought a map, and fumbled to find it by subway. When I got there, I called her, only to hear her sigh deeply on the phone.

"You are like this, I am very troubled."

The second time she said this, I felt even more sad. I stood at the gate of her school and cried like a fool.

"As soon as I got home, I ran to see you without any food, and I will leave after I give you something."

"It's true love when one person cries for another person. Come to X mall, I'll wait for you there."

I squatted on the side of the road, holding the phone, desperate emotions surging into my nerves that had been broken down several times, and my tears were like a burst of river water that could not be stopped. At that moment, self-esteem and shame were nothing.

I calmed down, moved my numb legs, asked someone for directions, found X mall, waited for a while, received her call, and saw her and her classmates at the door.

"This is from grandma, this is the doll I mentioned." I gave what I should give, trying not to look at her expression.Perhaps, it's time to let go. If you go on, you won't even be able to be friends, or you can't just give blindly without asking for response and results.His stomach was already convulsed, he clutched his stomach, turned around and left, what could he do if she saw him in such a mess, if he didn't like it, that person wouldn't feel bad for anything, he could only blame himself and take it upon himself.Impulsively pulled her QQ into a stranger.

Winter is over, spring is over, my mood has calmed down a lot, I still keep in touch with Xue occasionally, and it’s summer again, knowing that next year Shanghai will open the World Expo, Xue asked me if I need to buy a ticket, I haven’t made up my mind yet, but it is I think it's been a long time since I saw you.

"Let's meet up."

"Sister, it's very hot, please forgive me."

"You just say, come out or not, I invite you to sing." After all, we have known each other for almost two years, and we know each other's personalities, so we will not deliberately hide our domineering and unreasonable side.

"Okay, you just come to my house and wait for me downstairs."

It’s still the same place, but the mood is different, and the mood is relaxed. July is the hottest month of the year in Shanghai. Looking at the weather forecast yesterday, it seems that the highest temperature today is 38 degrees. I only wear pants and shorts Sleeve POLO shirt, I don’t know how long I waited. Just when I was about to lose my temper, Xue walked out of the building slowly while shaking her fan. A little light blue cheongsam-style dress, which is quite short. I took a look and thought, "This dress is too short, but it still looks pretty."

"Sister, you really know how to choose the time. I just washed my hair and my aunt came. Hey, let me say, are you really 1 meters tall?"

"Is it 1 meters? I'm just a little bit awkward."

"You look like 1 meters." She gave me a noncommittal look.

"You're wearing high heels." Forget it, short is short.

"My classmate asked me out, and I didn't go out very much. I stayed at home and didn't want to go out."

As soon as I heard it, I felt happy in my heart. Well, don't worry about what happened in the past, this house girl is willing to go out because of her face. She probably treats me as a friend.

"Let's go, let's sing first."

"I'm sorry to ask you to invite me again."

"The big deal is that you can hire me after you graduate from college and make money. What's the matter?"

"to make."

When she arrived in Song City, she waited in line for a while, and she had a phone call with her friend for a while.Then he suddenly turned his head and stared at me, making my scalp tingle.

"You didn't delete my QQ, did you?"

"I was wrong."

We ordered a small bag, and we went in and sat on one side. I could do well with boys' songs in the mid-bass, but her voice was very feminine and impeccable.

Coming out of the box, she looked at my open collar.

"Sister, you don't even wear a bra, do you?"

"I have one for summer, what's wrong?"

"Let's go and eat."

When I was crossing the road and waiting for the traffic light, I didn't know what I was doing in a daze, so she pulled me away from the passing cars.I ordered a set meal of Kung Pao Chicken and Braised Eggplant in Real Kungfu. She watched me taste her dish with chopsticks and didn't say anything.

I have paid a lot, but as the one who is loved, it will not be much better. I know that she tolerated many of my past self-willedness and unscrupulous words, and I am honored that we are still friends after all these. I don’t think it’s because she doesn’t understand me. It's just that she doesn't love me, she is wrong, everything is wrong.

How should I live after meeting, or how to live.

Then, I met one or two netizens and participated in a group gathering.On my birthday, Lan gave me a coat. Although it was not a style I liked very much, I still wore it. It was already the end of the New Year when we met again in the snow, because the appointment was in the afternoon, and in the morning, I went to Starbucks to meet Lan’s alumni and netizens. , made a brief self-introduction, and discussed about T and P during the meeting.Lan looked at me and said to the other two.

"Anyway, she's not T." I laughed and didn't try to defend myself. I just like women, and when I like someone, it doesn't matter if I like someone in bed.I was in a hurry to meet Xue, and didn't pay much attention to what they said at the time, but later I heard that Lan and one of the girls both liked another netizen.