Unable to say beyond the GL-Sequel

During Fang's return home for Chinese New Year, I came out.I don’t know what happened that day, I was upset, I no longer wanted to hide my sexual orientation from my family, I sent long text messages to my mother and my third uncle, my palms were sweaty when I sent them, The third uncle called immediately.

"I'm not surprised at all. Silly boy, that's not something you should touch. The third uncle also encountered it. One of them was dressed up by a boy. It didn't end well."

"Third Uncle, I don't want to be like this either, but I can't like boys, and I've tried dating, but it just doesn't work, I can't accept it both psychologically and physically."

"You still have to find a boyfriend. Now it's just a stage in your life. You'll still get married in a few years."

"I will not marry."

"You are different from other children, you can only rely on yourself."

"I know what I want."

"Third Uncle knows that you may be forced to be better than boys in everything because of your family since childhood. In fact, you still want to find someone to rely on. When you meet a man who is stronger and better than you, you Naturally it will be fine."

"It's not entirely because of the family. I can't explain it clearly at the moment. In my heart, you are heavier than my father, so I hope you can understand me."

"It's not a question of understanding or not. Think about it for yourself."

We all tried to convince each other, but the result was that no one could convince the other, but at least, Third Uncle knew about it.I don't expect him to understand all of a sudden, I just believe that one day he will accept the real me.

I only received a text message from my mother the next morning, and my mother only said: "Daughter, as long as you are happy, mother is satisfied." Even with such acquiescence, I am already very happy, after all, it is a good start.

I told Fang about my coming out, and Fang was very happy for me.When she came home, we kept in touch with each other by phone or computer, and she also tried to mention me in front of her family, and finally hoped for her return. I went to the station to pick her up, and felt that her attitude towards me was different from before, a little alienated, Makes me feel uneasy.

"He, I have something to tell you."

"Well, you said. This is the key of my house, and I gave you one." I handed the key to her.

"Forget it, let's go eat."

Then everything was the same as usual, but some things were still different.After making out again, I hugged her.

"Fang, I love you, you are mine."

"He, I said that I don't need you to be responsible for me. I don't belong to you, nor anyone else. In fact, I want to break up with you when I come back from the Chinese New Year. If you didn't treat me so well, I would hate to part with you. It won't be delayed until now."

"But I want to be with you."

"You should know, my family, it is impossible for the two of us to be together. I don't like living in poverty either, I like material life."

"We can work hard to make money together, and I can also find a better house."

"Stop talking, let's break up."

"I disagree."

I tried to look at her, but my vision became more and more blurred. Tears are the most useless things.

"Don't be like this, I don't feel good when you are like this."

"Fang, maybe you just don't love me enough."

"Maybe that's it. If you love enough, you can ignore everything." After she finished speaking, she sighed, with tears in the corners of her eyes.

Still no points, every time she talked about this topic, I would cry, and later, I gradually forced myself to accept this fact, and I stopped crying.

In June, Fang was about to graduate, and her family also asked her to find a job for her, and she would return to Beijing after graduation.A few days before she left, she gave me everything she could give me, and she stayed at my house all the time. She said she couldn't bear the rabbit we raised together.

On the day she left, I went to the airport to see her off, we sat in a taxi, and she talked about the two of us again.

"My family really can't agree..."

"I see, you don't have to keep repeating this."

The first time I spoke to her in a very cold tone, she froze for a moment.Even if you have hurt me countless times with these words, I am reluctant to hurt you, and will only cry uselessly. Are you trying to convince me or yourself when you say these words.

"If you really like me, I can quit my job and go to Beijing with you. You can also take your time with your parents."

"No, you are not very good in Shanghai, your job is good, and you have a good friend like Ping to take care of you."

"I know you don't love me. From the time we were together to now, you never said 'I love you'."

Then both of them were silent. I told myself not to cry when I went to the airport until I saw her disappear at the security checkpoint. I didn’t cry on the way home in her friend’s car. When I returned to the house where I lived, I saw the things Fang left behind. , I still cried, I was really useless.

We haven't broken contact, but every time we talk about feelings, her tone becomes colder. I haven't completely given up on her yet.

After work, I would go home to feed the rabbits, and then go out to play until late. I remember Ping said: Fang said that he would stay in Shanghai after graduation.When she decided to return to Beijing, I never asked, when you said this, did you really think about staying in Shanghai after graduation?Have you really thought about being with me?

Afterwards, I joined a LES group, and I didn’t talk too much. The big sister of the dancing machine has been busy hiking recently. I also like it, so I followed the big sister into the hiking group, bought the equipment online, and decided to go hiking with them on weekends. brook.He Fang sent a message.

"I'm ready to go hiking."

"Then be careful on your way."

"Or, when you celebrate your birthday, I'll go to Beijing to find you."

"No need. Live your life well. Don't stay at home all the time. Find a new girlfriend and live your life well."

"But I don't want to look for it. I'm not that cheap. I need to find someone to take care of me. Anyway, I'm alone. I'll give you a year, and then you can decide whether you want to be with me or not."

"Don't do that."

I cried on the phone, and for the first time after breaking up with her, I lost control and let her hear me cry.I think if what I have said is still not good enough, it should be really bad, so I decided to let go completely.