Drowning in a sea of ​​moonlight

"finished Wash?"

I sat on the edge of the bed and said.

Dazai was only wrapped in a thin bathrobe, his hair was still dripping, he stood barefoot on the carpet, looked at me silently, and nodded his head.

... Tsk.If you run out without proper clothes on, you will definitely catch a cold.

Fighting the urge to rub his hair, I said, "Okay. The hairdryer is over there."

He walked over slowly, picked up the hair dryer and blowed it randomly, and he didn't blow his head too much.

I sighed, picked up the wine glass on the small round table in front of me, and took another sip.

After getting him out of the pool, I carried him back to my room first.

In fact, I lived in the suite with Donna Alexia, but they should have gone to Mrs. Ellery's suite, and now there are only two of us in the huge space.

The sound insulation effect is quite good, there is no one in the adjacent suite, and the voices of people outside the corridor and the sound of the engine room can't be heard at all.

But in fact, there is no need to worry.After all, we shouldn't fight anymore.

At that time, when I saw him in the water...

...without thinking, it goes against what I myself said more than two years ago.

"I'm not going to stop you from committing suicide again".

However, when I wanted to understand my feelings for him.

Understand that he may actually need my stop very much.

When he got into the water this time... probably because of me.

How can you turn a blind eye.

While I let him use my bathroom to clean himself up, I used my power to dry myself and his clothes, and sat here waiting for him.

...although "I used another bathroom" could be used to explain the effect of my ability, but I think he already guessed what it was.

Moreover, she didn't want to hide it from him so much.

When he put down the wine glass, Dazai had already sat down on the chair beside the small round table, looked up at me, his eyes were wet, the hem of the bathrobe slid to the sides with his movements, revealing his legs that were as white as the cloth .

"...Okay, what are you blowing on. I'll blow it on for you."

I surrender.

An extremely bright light flashed in his eyes, and he immediately sat upright, "Looking forward." The words were almost written on his face.

I walked behind him, blowing his hair slowly with the blow dryer, and combing his soft hair with the other hand.

Following the movement of my hand, he obediently turned his head, like a cat putting his face on his hand for petting.

When I put the hair dryer aside and walked back to the edge of the bed and sat down, he also stood up, straddled my lap, hugged my shoulders with both hands, buried his face in my clothes, and said: "... ...you don't go, okay?"

The tail of his unkempt hair scratched my neckline, and the fresh fragrance immediately filled his nostrils after a bath, and the heat of his body was transmitted unreservedly through a layer of bathrobe.

I said helplessly: "...Sit down first, Xiuzhi-kun."

He said "um" in a small voice, and slowly adjusted his sitting position, but he didn't let go of his hands, nor did he get up from my lap.

...Listening to his slightly hoarse voice, and looking at his still red eyes, I sighed in my heart and didn't mention this matter again.

"...I want to ask you a question first." Do you want to think about it again, do you really need me here?Not because of the drawbridge effect?Or is it just some kind of obsession?or it could be--"

"It's true. Don't you disbelieve me."

He said muffled, his voice seemed to be a little nasal again.

"......I want it too."

I smiled bitterly silently, and stroked his hair with my free left hand.

"But I don't dare."

Dazai raised his head suddenly.

When he said these words, those golden pupils were dimmed like never before.

Endless sadness welled up in my heart in an instant.

"......I."

There were so many words I wanted to say, but when I reached my mouth, I choked up again.

...not wanting to open up my heart for others to see.very scary.Disgusting.

However, this person is not someone else.

...So, it's okay, right?

......and.

If he doesn't do this again, will he lose this person in front of him?

"... At the beginning, I really... have always doubted you."

"But after that, it's not like that."

For a long time, what he is best at is manipulating people with words, as if it is an innate talent, the words that can best help him achieve his goal and defeat the opponent's psychological defense will always be easily polished to the sharpest by him The sword, one hit kills.

But now, every word is so hard to say.

"...At that time, I asked the medical team to wait there at any time, and Sister Hongye and Xiaoyin also asked them to stay.

If you don't want to go with me, just leave me alone, and you'll be fine even if you stay in Port Mafia.That's how it should have been. "

"I didn't think you would."

Remembering what happened, he choked up again.

"...Well, it's my fault for adopting that method."

Now speak softly.

"...don't apologize!"

Dazai interrupted him by raising his voice, feeling his nose start to sore again.

"...You have nothing to apologize for, so don't apologize...it's me who should apologize, that's right...me."

He sniffed hard, finding it difficult to breathe.

...but he went on.

Little by little, every word carefully.

Tell him all the words that have been buried in my heart for so long, that I thought would never be said.

"...Actually, the things you said to me on the day of the cherry blossom festival, the day you went to the mountain, and the day you came back from Lupin... really made me very happy after a long absence. You are right I'm fine, I know that too."

——I think everything is fine with you, I hope you are all right, and I want to be with you forever.

——I'm sorry for not letting you feel that I love you.

"...I just can't believe it. I'm also afraid of you. There is actually another purpose for doing that to me...so I did those things and said those words... ..but."

The more he spoke, the more nasal his voice became. At the last sentence, although his tone was still calm, his voice trembled uncontrollably.

"It never occurred to me that . . . it would end like that."

"......never mind."

As if in a dream, he heard what Jin said, hugged himself gently, and stroked his back with warm hands.

"I'm not dead. I'm here."

It seems that this sentence dispels all illusions, leaving only the truth called "he is still there".

He's here.

He is by my side.

Suddenly there was an irresistible sourness in his nasal cavity. He tightened his arms and hugged the person in front of him tightly. Tears fell on the other person's heart like broken beads, blooming large water-colored flowers.

"......sorry."

He said softly, closing his eyes, feeling the warm tears fall silently.

"It was my mistake not to understand my own feelings. It was my fault. It will never happen again, so please...don't go."

"I won't run away anymore, I love you."

Now she lowered her head slightly and looked at him quietly, her eyes were bright.

"...Well. I know. I forgive you. So don't cry."

Strangely, he was stunned for a moment when he heard this, and then the tears fell even more fiercely.

I patted him on the back lightly, letting him wrap his arms around my neck, and the tears quietly slid down my cheeks to my skirt.

After a while, he raised his head and said with red eyes:

"...fucking... are you stupid?"

"...Hey, what's the matter? You scolded me just when you said forgive me? Is it appropriate?"

To brighten his mood, I changed the subject and scratched his nose lightly.

He said sullenly: "...to forgive others so easily...isn't it too much...you will be used by others. Believe me, what if I lied to you?"

After saying this, he quickly added: "Of course I didn't lie to you." Then he raised a pair of red rabbit eyes to watch my reaction secretly.

Hiss, so cute.

I can only believe now that I have not misunderstood Mrs. Ellery.

Indeed, I hadn't even thought about that possibility until he said that.

——Because Dazai has a special ability, everyone originally considered the possibility of making an exception and telling him if an accidental exposure occurs.

If he couldn't have intersected with us from the beginning, then the club would never have brought up the fact that I could go to the port of Mafia.

After all, although I uphold the principle of reciprocating gratitude, the interests of the Moonlight Society and the interests of the people we protect are always above everything else.

This matter is because the risk that the society needs to take is too great to get in touch with an anti-supernatural person like him.

So before the president mentioned it, I didn't think it was possible for me to repay the favor in person, let alone apply for such a long vacation.

But naturally, this is only the worst possible scenario, and if possible, it would be better not to expose at all.

So, maybe it was because he didn’t want me to know this before, so he was more confident and acted more impulsively, but after that, after three months of observation, his performance was not satisfactory, and everyone didn’t want me to be influenced by him again, so I didn’t Mention this possibility to me.

but now......

It's time for me to face my own feelings for him and act.

After all, the little kitten has finally raised a relative, and carefully opened his heart to others, revealing the softest part of his heart, but if he doesn't get a response, he will shrink back into his protective layer and never cry out again. .

...After all, am I stupid?Is it too much?

"......Maybe."

I said, wrapping my hands around his trembling body.

Then, gently, she placed a kiss on his forehead.

"...It may also be because, I love you too."

"............Ok?"

He looked up, blinking, looking at me as if his brain had stopped functioning.

I've never seen such a silly expression on his face, I couldn't help but chuckle, and then I kissed the tip of his ear.

"Well, I don't know why. Maybe it was really the drawbridge effect at first, but ugh... it was like, 'This kid is calling for help', so I couldn't just sit back and do nothing.

"When I first saw you, I occasionally thought of your father, but later on, all I could think of was you, only you."

"I'm with you, not out of responsibility, not out of obligation, just because of yourself. It's always been like this."

"I love you. Hey, you're back to your senses, how many times are you going to listen to me? I'll finish it in one breath."

"...in one breath?"

The dazed look faded away, as Dazai said so, he raised his head and looked at me, with some kind of emotion in his eyes that was so bright that it was almost impossible to look directly at.

"Then you can't do it. I want to listen to you forever."

"......OK."

I laughed.

Then, in the next second, his lips were blocked by a soft thing.

The tip of his soft tongue swept across my lips, and then quickly retracted, as if he was trying to lure me in.

So I did that.

He was unexpectedly unfamiliar with this aspect, and his breathing became disordered after a while, and when they parted, he was already panting slightly.

Looking at his wet eyes and shortness of breath, I suddenly felt a little mischievous in my heart.

"Don't worry, I haven't finished yet. I forgive you, but it's not without conditions, Mr. Xiuzhi?"

Then, leaning down, whispered something in his ear.

He raised his head, his eyes dodged a little, and his cheeks were stained with a blush.

Then, in an imperceptible voice, he whispered.

"...That, it will definitely break."

A flame blazed up in my heart, and I put him on the bed.Then, with the gentlest movement, took his wrist, pressed it back on the sheet above his head, and clasped his fingers.

Then he looked at him and asked, "Huh? Then you don't accept it?"

His eyelashes fluttered slightly, and after looking at me for a few seconds, he raised his face and greeted me with a kiss.

After that everything fell into place.

I claimed every inch of his body, encroaching on all his unexplored places.

So he melted grandly under my touch, and when I was completely one with him, I clasped his fingers, swallowed his trembling and whining with kisses, felt his tears slide down his cheeks, and drip down , blooming on the cloth that held him.

Then, when he came back to his senses and looked at me with tears in his red eyes, he whispered in his ear.

"It's just the first time."

The author has something to say:.cough cough.

Congratulations to both of you for achieving the Dzogchen in life.

The next chapter is an afterthought, as for the full version of the process, it’s the old place~

Here I have a private setting that is very tactile to people close to me, and Zai is a little touchdeprived, so that's it.perfect match hehehe

"I didn't make you feel that I love you, I'm sorry" is adapted from the rose in the little prince, "Of course I love you. It's my problem that I didn't make you feel it."

I feel that some words and sentences describing roses are very suitable for me in this article hhhhh

(Like this: "I didn't know anything then! I should judge her by her actions, not by her words. She smells and smells and makes my life richer, and I really shouldn't have left her .

..I should have guessed that there was tenderness behind her ridiculous tricks.Flowers are so innocent!But, after all, I am too young to know how to love her. "

(Oh, of course, even judging Jae by his behavior is the same result hhhh)

And this paragraph: "If you're going to tame someone, be prepared to cry." (So taming each other is all tears hhhh))

The feeling of saying "it's okay" here today is exactly the same as in the dream of anti-? Ba (Ch.46) hahh

It was so sad compared to reality at the time, but it actually happened now.That's what he'd do in Jae's dream when he's soft-hearted these days.

It can be regarded as a side confirmation that these two people actually know each other very well.

Everyone can guess what he said to Zai today, which is the number of cars that night.

There are really a lot of hints in the previous comments, including a number that was emphasized several times in the early days.

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!