Spring time

Chapter 11

Because the operating situation of the Yunnan branch is really difficult, if you want to restore the decadent situation in a short time and get the company back on track, you really have to sacrifice a lot of energy and time to change the company that is still stuck in the last century. The old way of working.The main magazine also needs a complete revision.The direction of reform is readily available and does not require too much investment.Because Yunnan is a famous city with profound historical and cultural heritage, and it is also a tourist attraction.This superior geographical location has given us a very good innovative concept, that is, with the theme of low carbon, tourism and urban life, with a simple and fresh style to attract young consumers who are chasing trends and fashion.These ideas took shape after several weeks of gestation by Xiao Wang and I, but the implementation of this plan is still difficult. Not to mention the seniority in the company, the old editors with conservative ideas will definitely hold strong opinions on our plan. Opposition, and if such a plan fails, not only Xiao Wang and I, but the entire company will fall into a predicament of being unable to recover.Although Xiao Wang and I took great risks, we still carried out our reform plan according to the original plan without hesitation.

We persuaded the person in charge of the headquarters, and it was precisely because of our continuous efforts that at the conference, our plan was passed by only one vote more than the opposition.There are good signs in the initial stage of the reform, but we dare not take it lightly, because there will be greater challenges waiting for us in the process of implementation.

Every day, Xiao Wang and I, as well as those young people who participated in this reform project, typesetting, editing, revising, designing, meeting with interviewees, and contacting advertisers, all of which we did by ourselves.In those days, Xiao Wang and I were always the first to arrive at the company and the last to go back, sometimes even staying overnight at the company.Eat some instant noodles when I’m hungry, and continue to work overtime. This reminds me of the me who just came to Shanghai 5 years ago. Keep learning over time, so that you can slowly climb up and not be left behind.There are still many similarities between the current situation and the original situation.It's just that now, the time is different, the place is different, and my state of mind is different from 5 years ago.I keep feeling in my heart that time can really temper people, but in just 5 years, I have matured and can be independent, and I am no longer a toddler and ignorant of world affairs like I was back then.

I know that only when I work so intensely and busy can I not think of An Xin often, and I can suppress the feeling of missing her.I know she still hates me now, but soon An Xin will definitely let me go, just like she does to strangers.

I thought that after arriving in Yunnan, I would let go of the pathetic and ridiculous role I have been playing in your life and let you go, but I still overestimated myself. I can't let you go in this life, although we never The time from meeting to acquaintance to getting to know each other is really very short, but you have become the imprint on me that will never be erased.

Rest assured, there will always be a place for you in my heart, no matter in the past or in the future.Whether you know it or not, these things last forever.

I can't do more, and I know you don't appreciate what I do. I wish you peace in the days to come.

Busy and busy, the days passed by inadvertently.After this period of hard work, the first magazine after the company's reform was successfully released, because the magazine had done a certain degree of publicity before, and the sales volume was good.This is unimaginable for the previous company's disastrous performance. For this reason, the company held a celebration party.

That night, Xiao Wang and I drank a lot, until later we talked incoherently and slurred our speech.Some people say that no matter who successfully arrives, there will be a feeling of tears of joy, because it is so difficult.After groping in the darkness and hesitation for a long time, I finally felt the joy and relief of seeing the dawn in front of me.

After the celebration banquet, everyone didn't go home, but kept carousing in the KTV box, but I was so tired that I fell asleep leaning on Xiao Wang's shoulder before I knew it.The next morning, when I woke up from the KTV, the box was full of people lying all over the place, and it was smoky, and I was lying on the sofa, almost occupying the entire space of the sofa.His head rested on Xiao Wang's lap, and he was still wearing Xiao Wang's coat.I just realized that during the time I fell asleep, Xiao Wang didn't seem to move much, and he almost didn't sleep all night.

When I straightened up from him with sleepy eyes, he just rubbed his eyes and said something to me softly.

Hi, good morning, Xiao Ran.

After leaving the KTV, I drove home, and I fell into deep thoughts all the way. In order to let me sleep better, Xiao Wang could maintain such an uncomfortable position until dawn. I can't imagine such a big and three rough For me, the man spent the whole night on the small sofa, unable to even stretch his legs.

I have done this kind of thing for An Xin, and I am willing, but I never thought that such a thing can be done for me by such a person.

In this relationship with An Xin, I have always been the one who gives, regardless of the rewards. I take it for granted, but there is really such a person who silently pays for me, cares about me, and takes care of me, just like I do to An Xin. When An Xin treated me like that, I was still at a loss. I clearly know that the feeling of being pampered and cared for is really good, because you are always the one who takes the initiative, and you can enjoy the other party without any scruples. Everything a person gives for you.

I've always known that Xiao Wang has been silently paying for me, but I always pretended to be ignorant, enjoying Xiao Wang's care and pampering unscrupulously.Until today, I have no choice but to face Xiao Wang's forbearable but direct feelings for me, and I no longer avoid it.It's just that my heart is full of peace of mind, and I really can't hold other people.I know that if I accept Xiao Wang, then the future road will be easier, but even so, I still can't violate my heart for An Xin, not to mention that it is extremely unfair to Xiao Wang. But he was thinking of others.

Maybe a little longer, with more time, when it comes to peace of mind, I can calm down and accept Xiao Wang, but I don't even know how long these concepts of time are. How could I have the heart to keep him waiting.

The company is slowly getting on the right track, and we are no longer as busy as we were at the beginning. Xiao Wang always takes me to play in his spare time.We have traveled to Dali, Xishuangbanna, Yuxi, and Qujing with our bags together; we have seen Dianchi Lake, climbed the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, and visited the ancient town of Niujie; The experience of fleeing in embarrassment; I was also warned by a sentinel on the Sino-Vietnamese border because I ventured across the border river.

Xiao Wang and I agreed that when the company really gets better, we will go to the red light district in Thailand to see "Black Pearl"; ride an elephant; eat authentic Thai food in a street restaurant full of tropical atmosphere; Let’s go to Qinghai-Tibet together and walk in the golden rapeseed fields in Shangri-La; ride horses and gallop on the prairie together, drink highland barley wine and eat whole sheep together.

Every time I work overtime until late at night, Xiao Wang will always take me to the barbecue stand near the company, order a few skewers, a few bottles of cold beer, sit in the open space, talk about my life, talk about my son those unrealistic dreams.

That day, I accidentally asked Xiao Wang what kind of girl he would marry as his future wife.Xiao Wang told me half-jokingly and half-seriously that if he wanted to look for someone like me, he would look for someone like me.

In the night, I can see that Xiao Wang's eyes looking at me are so bright, without a trace of impurities.I know he's hinting at me, but I really can't accept him.Afterwards, I didn’t speak, neither did he, the atmosphere was a bit awkward, he hesitated to speak, and finally I took a deep breath and said to Xiao Wang, Xiao Wang, do you still remember that I told you that I once liked someone Well, you asked me who he is, I said, I will tell you one day, so today I will tell you who this person is.

Xiao Wang's face was a little dignified, and he nodded slightly hesitantly, while I continued.

This person, you know, is not from the company to be precise. She has worked with me before, and she is An Xin.

When I finished speaking and saw Xiao Wang's stunned expression, my heart was still throbbing, and I couldn't help explaining with a wry smile.

It seems that this relationship is really no one can understand, I like An Xin, I like her very much, regardless of gender, just because she is her, nothing more.

I have been waiting for Xiao Wang's response. I really hope that someone can understand me, but during such a long wait, I suddenly want to understand one thing, how can I force a person who likes me to accept this reality? , such a reason, so cruel.

There was silence for a long time, so that even I wondered if the conversation just happened, Xiao Wang finally broke the silence, took a big gulp of wine, stared into my eyes and said, Xiaoran, then, do you know your feelings for her with peace of mind? ?

I was a little surprised that Xiao Wang would ask such a question, but I answered it truthfully.

From the beginning to the end, I will not let her know, nor will I tell her.She's older than me, has a boyfriend, is straight, and we're just friends.

Xiao Wang asked again, then you just keep guarding her silently, looking at her, and keep this feeling in your heart forever?

I laughed and said maybe you'd laugh at me if I did this, and then told me it wasn't worth the endless effort in a relationship that would never be possible.But even so, I am still willing, in the name of a friend, to always stay at the most suitable distance from her.In my opinion, compared with vigorous love, she needs quiet company more, not disturbing, is my most considerate tenderness.

Xiao Wang paused for a long time and frowned and asked me back.

Since you have a deep affection for her, why did you choose to leave in the end?

Probably, because it seems that I don't seem to be important in her heart, and because my existence seems to have disturbed her normal life, I don't want her to have a bad life, and I don't want to let myself get stuck in this relationship. .Then after leaving, thinking about her silently at a long distance away from her, thinking about her, this is also a good choice for me.I know that 2 years later, maybe longer, I will still return to Shanghai, and I will see her again, but at that time, her life will change a lot, get married, have a husband who loves her, and have a husband like her My child, without me, she would not be in a dilemma when I indulge and care for her infinitely.She will pick up her original life again and live the life she has been looking forward to for a long time.It is over 30 years old, she is destined to get married and have children, and I can escape the reality after leaving that is enough to break my heart and make me dare not face it, because these are the processes that must be experienced.At that point, when we meet again, we won't be able to return to the close relationship we once had, and she will hate me, but even then I will admit it.Because I do this, it is the best choice for her and for me.

I finally uttered the deepest thoughts hidden in my heart. The moment I finished speaking, I felt that the heavy burden that I had been carrying on my shoulders was inexplicably lighter. The last privacy was exposed by me, which made me feel a little incredible. This was unthinkable in the past.

After listening to my sincere confession, Xiao Wang lowered his head and remained silent for a long time, and then told me with a heavy sigh.

Xiaoran, you have always been such a person, you will not give your feelings easily, once you give your heart, it will be difficult for you to like others again.I know that no matter who I become, it's useless. If I can't walk into your heart the first time I see you, I won't be able to walk in for the rest of my life.From the beginning, I had a premonition that you would not look back at me. From the very beginning, I retreated in spite of the difficulties, just looked at you from afar, looked at you, fell in love with you, and thought about you gently, because I know your heart Always pretend to be alone, and there will never be a place for me.It’s just that when you are lonely, how much I want to be the only person you are willing to talk to, how much I want to sit quietly with you under the starry sky, and listen to you tell me the things in your heart without any scruples, whether it’s sad or happy, I I am willing to bear with you, but I am willing to do anything, but I am not even a substitute.I have always known that someone has always occupied your heart, but I didn't expect that person to be at ease, but after listening to you, what else can I do, I can only try to understand and understand your rough relationship.You must not know how gentle and caring your eyes were when you spoke just now. At that moment, I knew that I would never be able to compare with An Xin.You treat Anxin just like I treat you, I understand your feelings, and you understand mine too, because we are so similar, but even in this way, we can only be mutual friends, keeping each other warm, I can’t go away Into your heart, you will never be able to accept me.

I know that these are words from the bottom of my heart, but what else can I say, I can only say "I'm sorry" to Xiao Wang with guilt, which is useless at all.

I said, Xiao Wang, you are really nice, and I am really glad that I can meet someone like you in this life. Maybe, if I can meet you first before meeting An Xin, I will readily agree you.But there is no if in this world, because my heart is already filled with peace of mind. I can't accept you, so I can only say sorry to you, which is useless. I know that no matter what I do, I can't make up for the harm I caused to you. I can't repay your kindness to me, but I don't want our relationship to end because of these.It is very difficult for me to meet a friend like you in three lifetimes. I really cherish this friendship. Do you think I am very greedy?I laughed wryly at myself.

Xiao Wang held my hand and his face returned to calm.

He said, Xiaoran, don't say that, liking is a matter between both parties, since you can't accept me, I won't force you, but I hope you don't refuse my kindness to you, because these are all voluntary.I don't want to embarrass you. If we can't be a couple, then I also hope that you can treat me like a brother, and I can treat you like a sister and pamper you. With this kind of family affection and friendship You won't feel embarrassed, and I can continue to take care of you in my own way to maintain our relationship.We're still as good as ever, aren't we?

When I finished listening to it, I couldn't stop crying. I was so moved by this man's tolerance and understanding that I couldn't stop my tears from flowing out like running water.Except for my parents, no one has ever been able to treat me so well and spoil me like him.

I was crying, I could only keep crying, and I couldn't say what I wanted to say.In the end, even he couldn't help laughing and walked over from the seat, squatting on the ground and caressing my back that was constantly trembling from sobbing, and said comfortingly, "It's okay, what's the big deal, it can make you cry like a cat." Just like a little cat, don't cry, it won't look good anymore.

I lowered my head and hugged him gently and said in a crying voice, I will call you from now on, brother, okay?

Well, well, from now on, you will be my sister.He rubbed my head with a smile and said softly.

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