green eyes

In fact, my depression is really not serious. After all, I haven’t suffered from it for so many years. I used to be unable to sleep all night, and I wanted to die every moment. Then my mother died first, and she gave me a loud blow hand.

I dug out the medicine box in the bookcase, searched for it, and found the risperidone tablets from a long time ago. After checking that it had expired, I threw it back. I still felt that it was not serious enough to take medicine...

Cheng Jun cooked the meal and called me. He is still such a 100% considerate lover. If I could forget about the birdcage, I answered and put the medicine box back. He saw it on the table and asked: "Look for What medicine? Are you feeling unwell? "

I shook my head and said, "It's just to check if there are any Band-Aids."

He glanced at the medicine box and said, "I'll get someone to buy it and deliver it in a while. Do you need to buy some common medicines? Also, your razor doesn't work well. Can you buy an electric one?"

I don’t speak, he seems to be asking for opinions, but in fact, if I object, he will naturally use other methods to get me to agree. In fact, using a razor is still a habit when I was a migrant worker. Everyone in the greenhouse uses it mixedly. I’m afraid, so I go by myself I bought a simple knife for a few dollars, and later fell in love with the feeling of the blade slowly scraping across the skin.

I ate in silence, but he chatted with me uncharacteristically. He used to be quiet when eating, but now he has become a commoner with me: "I heard from Liu Fangping the other day that school will start after the new year. I heard that our high school will hold a centennial celebration. , invited me to attend, do you want to go back with me? Come home with me for the New Year, okay? I'll take you to see my family."

I said lightly, "It's too cold over there, I don't want to go."

He smiled: "It's good to go back and relax... I bought the house we live in."

I feel like I'm choking on my throat, why on earth does he think I should be attached to it and linger on it?

I suddenly stood up and pushed all the dishes on the table to the ground. Without looking at his face, I turned around and went to the bathroom and locked the door.

I'm not feeling right, but I can't control myself.

The bathroom door could be opened by him, and I blushed with anger and shouted thickly: "Can you give me some space of my own?"

He hesitated for a while, then glanced at the bathroom shelf, there was a razor on it, I realized that he was afraid that I would commit suicide, I sneered, turned my head out of the bathroom, he came over and hugged me a little bit forcefully Stopped, pulled me to the bed, pressed me on the bed, looked me in the eyes and said: "Jiashu, relax, why are you angry? Can you tell me? You don't like Liu Fangping? What happened?"

I was suppressed by him, my chest heaved for a while, I held back my breath and said coldly: "Can you let me be quiet?"

Cheng Jun looked at me for a while, let me go, and went to clean up the broken dishes on the floor... He has been doing it for a long time tonight. He has been very careful these days, and the dishes are different every day, but I still don't have much appetite.He pampered me as before, as before, like a lover who tolerated a bad temper, tolerant, careful, and meticulous, but when it was time to give up, he gave up without hesitation.

I don't know how long this time is, but I am not the Luo Jiashu I used to be, simple and lonely yearning for love and lusting for warmth, so he proposed a more perfect bait-take me to see my family.

17-year-old Luo Jiashu himself was afraid that his family would find out, so he never thought about meeting his lover's family. He only wanted to study hard, get admitted to university, and after being successful, he would slowly overcome all difficulties with his lover. It is very long, and everything can be planned slowly.

The 30-year-old Luo Jiashu knows that even if he meets his family, he can't prove anything, because he may stop loving you at any time.He has everything in his hands, and he can easily give up unilaterally and abandon you.

I didn't eat dinner, but I didn't feel hungry. The strange thing was that I felt better after losing my temper for a while. I lay on the bed with my eyes closed and thought about Liu Fangping, gnashing my teeth thinking about how to get revenge on him.He imitated Cheng Jun to pursue me back then, but after being rejected, he was not as patient as Cheng Jun. Instead, he brought a group of young masters, dragged me to the toilet, stripped off my clothes, humiliated me, and I still remember him laughing at me: " What are you pretending to be innocent, Cheng Jun gets it, but we can’t? Now everyone come to open your eyes and see what the pets that Cheng and Younger have slept on look like." Although they were in school after all, there was no actual behavior, but for the 17-year-old The devastating humiliation I brought upon me caused me to kill myself that night.

Suicide failed, my mother beat me up, and finally found out that my mental state was not right. The doctor diagnosed me with depression. My mother went to school to ask teachers and classmates about the situation. The classmates only said that they were bullied by Liu Fangping, so the teacher called me The parents of the Liu family came to apologize, and the butler came over there to pretend to apologize. My mother was so naive and went home and told me that they would not bully me anymore. She thought I was just being bullied by my classmates.

Later, my mother was fired from the factory, saying that she had offended someone. When she came back, she refused to tell me, but told me to study hard and prepare for the college entrance examination. Later, she discovered lymphoma. Later, the school was covered with my nude photos. I never went to school again.I sold the house and money that Cheng Jun gave me to treat the disease... The treatment is very painful. I remember that there is a kind of medicine that is very expensive. It costs 1 yuan a piece. I used it all. My mother was undergoing chemotherapy. She was always worried that my class would be delayed, but she was transferred later. My mother died within half a year.

Life can never be full of hatred, love and hatred, my mother has been let down by others in this life, leaving me with her high expectations, but I can do nothing for her-I have a strong sense of guilt, even though I Been trying to unravel myself.

But now I am thinking about my tens of millions, can I buy a murderer to beat Liu Fangping?

how to buy?Watching TV, reading novels, buying a killer seems to be a very simple matter... What is it actually?Of the few people I know, none seem to know anyone who knows a gangster.

Spending money to acquire the property of the Liu family like a TV novel, um, buy his stock first, and then sell it at a low price...Is this always the case on TV?

Tens of millions...I'm afraid they can't stand their repurchase...hahaha...not to mention that I have never touched stocks and futures, and money should become something that makes me feel at ease, such as passbooks, houses, and shops ...

I probably closed my eyes and buried my head in the pillow so that Cheng Jun thought I was asleep. When I heard the sound of the medicine bottle, I turned my head and saw him holding the bottle of risperidone thoughtfully. I sneered: "I mentally ill."

He turned his eyes to look at me, and I smiled and began to alarmist and nonsense: "It's depression, you should give up early... It's the Chinese New Year, why bother? The situation will only get worse and worse... I will suffer from the effects of drugs. The whole body is obese, the eyes are dull, the words are incoherent, auditory hallucinations, fantasies of being victimized, completely unable to control their words and behaviors, and then toss you and toss the people around you."

He put the medicine bottle and didn't say a word, came to kiss me, even a little fierce, tore off my clothes, and started wanting me, I looked out the window, thinking whether I should start pretending to be mentally ill, and scare him away, which seemed like a good idea idea.

The next day Cheng Jun helped me choose clothes, made breakfast for me, and then said to me gently: "My friend introduced me to a good psychiatrist, let's go see it today."

He looked calm, as if my nervous outburst last night didn't scare him. I watched him for a while, and he came over to kiss me with a smile, as if he had nothing to do with it—he rarely lost his temper, and he always treated me with confidence.