green eyes

I changed my mind and thought about it. If he was diagnosed, it might make him give up earlier... Who wants to live with a person with mental problems?How many patients with severe depression can't even stand their own parents, brothers and sisters, and finally have to be abandoned, abandoned by the whole world, and logically complete their final death choice.

So I didn't say anything, changed my clothes obediently and went out with him.

He still drives by himself. He seldom shows his extravagant side in front of me.

While I was thinking wildly, he drove me to an office building in the city center.

It is a private psychological clinic, the decoration is simple and comfortable, not depressing.

A doctor received us. He has fair skin, gentle eyebrows, and thin smile lines around the eyes when he smiles, which are particularly eye-catching and very attractive. He came over and shook hands with me and introduced himself with a smile. "Mr. Luo? My name is Li Jia. I know Cheng Jun. He called me last night and asked me to make time to chat with you today."

Cheng Jun nodded and introduced me, his words were very concise: "Thank you."

Li Jia smiled and directed me: "Please come in and sit down first. Cheng Jun is reading some magazines outside first." There is a soft sofa in the room, and a plate of lemons on the coffee table, exuding a natural fragrance, and the home atmosphere is relatively strong. He asked me to sit down on the sofa, and then sat across from me. An assistant came in and poured scented tea for me.

Li Jia smiled and said: "Cheng Jun is very concerned about you, he called me for a long time last night and told me about your symptoms and performance."

I sneered: "Did he say that he forced me to stay with him?"

Li Jia smiled slightly: "So you started to harm yourself?"

I sneered: "He thinks too highly of himself, how could I kill myself for him? If I want to kill me, I will kill him first."

A smile appeared on the corner of Li Jia's mouth: "I understand, but I don't really understand. Cheng Jun is both talented and beautiful, and has a good character. Hmm... his reputation is also good. I have never heard that he will force people... No matter where It is said that Yi Ren broke up peacefully, and that his nostalgia for him is greater than resentment, and he is almost a rare gentleman among them. Even if you don't believe that your ending will be good, you must not be embarrassed when you get along. I think Mr. Luo is also a very sober and realistic person, why don't you take this opportunity to relax and enjoy the present, even if he breaks up, he won't let you suffer."

I sneered: "So you are suggesting that I should submissively enjoy rape and get the most out of it?"

He choked on me, coughed twice and said, "I mean, it might not be impossible for you to make him only stay with you from now on, why don't you try to make him fall in love with you."

I looked into Li Jia's eyes: "Doctor Li, think about it, is it possible for your heir to stay with a man for the rest of his life after starting a family? Is it possible that he won't get married? Can we stop kidding ourselves?"

Li Jia withdrew her smile: "As far as I know, he is the one who decides to start a family now, and he has come out of the closet a long time ago, so he must have been mentally prepared."

I was stunned, Cheng Jun never told me about this, Li Jia smiled and said, "Did Cheng Jun communicate less with you?"

I didn't speak, Li Jia tried to explain me: "Why don't you give Cheng Jun some confidence?"

I smiled briefly: "Doctor Li, confidence is something that can be seen from behavior. It is made, not spoken. He still doesn't know that I went to work as a migrant worker before I finished high school. I don’t know what I’ve been through. He can find out all these things just by looking them up, but he only saw my body, so why would he want to understand me? He just saw a pet, possessive and conquering To make him fresh, so he mistook it for love, so he moved himself."

Li Jia was amused by my words: "I suddenly knew why Cheng Jun was attracted to you."

I put on a blank face: "So we are here to pay to discuss why Cheng Jun likes me and why he will love me forever in the future?"

Li Jia smiled: "You are very defensive, sober and rational, you firmly believe that you are right and refuse other people's persuasion, and you are hostile to me. To be honest, it is a challenge for you to do psychological counseling. Now it is obvious that you are Because Cheng Jun wants to be with you, your psychology is abnormal, so we'd better start from this aspect."

I let out a sigh of relief: "Actually, insomnia and depression, as long as Cheng Jun leaves me, he will heal without any medicine. You just need to tell him the truth."

Li Jia's smile remained unchanged: "Mind to ask, what was the last time you had a psychological abnormality? Have you ever done psychological counseling?"

I thought about it: "That year was about the same. At that time, some things happened at school and at home. I tried to commit suicide, and then I saw a psychiatrist once or twice."

Li Jia asked: "How was the situation at that time?"

I recalled: "Insomnia, depression, disgust with life, refusing to go to school, crying often, trying to commit suicide, deliberately angering my mother and hoping she would kill me... Then I had auditory hallucinations." The shocked eyes of my mother at that time still remind me new.

Li Jia asked reassuringly, "It was cured later?"

I shook my head: "Not really. Suicide and insomnia have been happening all the time, but because my mother was seriously ill, I was busy raising money for her treatment, so I didn't think about it. Then my mother died, and she ordered me not to commit suicide before she died. I had to survive. Later, I came to G city to work for a period of time. The work was very tiring and hard. After I learned design, I was also very busy. The symptoms were not so serious. After I became more economical, I went to see a psychiatrist several times, and gradually Never been sick."

Li Jia thought for a while: "You listen to your mother very much? When depression is severe, without drug treatment, it is difficult to overcome the idea of ​​suicide by relying on the spirit alone, and it is difficult for family responsibilities to restore their suicide. thought."

I thought about it for a while: "She has high expectations of me, she has been disciplined very strictly since she was a child, and she never allowed me to disobey her words, besides... I am sorry for her, since she made me must live, I have to fulfill her last wish. "

Li Jia asked: "Your mother physically punished you?"

My heart skipped a beat, I glanced at Li Jia, and asked, "Do you want to know if I'm a masochist?"

Li Jia said calmly: "Children who were severely disciplined and physically punished when they were young, it is true that some people still need psychological punishment to vent their psychological problems when they grow up..."

I sneered, and scolded Cheng Jun seventy or eighty times in my heart, you are the one who was abused, and you deserve the beating!

He smiled and changed the subject: "Are you doing interior design now? I heard that you are quite famous in the industry?"

I said a few words modestly and chatted for a while. He asked me about the situation of some friends, the current status of work, and no longer entangled in the relationship between me and Cheng Jun. Although I also had questions and answers, I was finally a little impatient. , asked him: "So what are you going to do now? Can you let Cheng Jun understand the final consequences of my illness?"

He smiled and said, "Mr. Luo probably thinks that his current mental state is not bad, right?

I thought about it: "It's not serious, I won't know if I go down, he is the source of my anxiety, you'd better make it clear to him, wasting time on me is pointless."

Li Jia's self-contained analysis: "You can independently enlighten and analyze your own psychology, take the initiative to overcome your depression symptoms, and suppress your own desire to commit suicide, but in fact you don't love life. Career is very serious, but when you have savings, you buy a house instead of expanding your business to become bigger and stronger. It is said that you lack a sense of security. In fact, it is just a kind of satisfaction with the status quo. You stay away from emotional matters and are unwilling to try... …You have very few friends, and you don’t have any active friends. You don’t force yourself to marry and have children. You subconsciously don’t want to bond with anyone. You are afraid. In fact, your attitude towards life is negative, but you work hard. According to your mother's request, you live a healthy, upward and self-reliant life on the surface. You don't take risks, don't interact with people in depth, don't plan for the future, and refuse other people's concern... In fact, you know it yourself. You are also a kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Forcing yourself to live paradoxically . . . you have guilt, and it's growing day by day."

I kept silent, these psychiatrists are really boring, I think I am in a good state of mind, by his analysis, it seems like a terminal illness, according to his analysis, this street is full of people who are not motivated and content to be mediocre. It's mentally ill.

Li Jia seemed to see through what I was thinking, and smiled slightly: "Most people have some psychological problems to some extent, but they have not affected their lives... In fact, psychiatrists are indeed similar to ancient fortune-tellers, just relying on one mouth Fudge."

I couldn't help but smile, Li Jia smiled and said: "You are very sensible, although you have low self-esteem, you are also confident, you are very sure of your own cognition, you think Cheng Jun is untrustworthy, so you order yourself not to trust him anymore, That's why you are so repulsed and anxious about his approach... May I think that your anxiety actually reflects your fear of the ending, and it's not that you can't love Cheng Jun, rather than that you don't love him? "

My complexion changed: "Doctor Li is very good at changing concepts secretly, and using clever words... If you were forced to stay by your side as a little thing, wouldn't you be anxious or panic?"

Li Jia smiled and said: "I suggest that you talk to him more about your thoughts, even if it is a quarrel, it is also a way of communication. I will tell Cheng Jun that I will arrange some physical examinations and psychological tests for you, and then I will give you some advice. You can prescribe some medicine to assist treatment... I heard that you practice yoga, which is a good way to relax, I suggest you continue, if the insomnia still does not improve, I can prescribe some medicine for you. "

I said coldly: "Aren't you afraid that one day I will take a knife and kill him?"

Li Jia laughed: "You won't, you have a strong control over your behavior, and you require yourself to live healthy and upward."