withered lover

Du Zhinian was full of things to say to Shen Guiwan, so he skipped work early in the afternoon and went home.

He was anxious all the way, did a lot of mental construction, pushed open the bedroom door only to find that Shen Guiwan hadn't woken up at all.

Shen Guiwan nestled on one side of the bed, his curled up body was wrapped in a thick quilt, forming a bulging arc on the bed.

He got up intermittently a few times in the middle, one of the capsules on the bedside table was missing, and most of the water in the glass was drunk, and when Du Zhinian entered the door, he saw unwashed pots and bowls and chopsticks in the kitchen.

Sitting on the carpet beside the bed, Du Zhinian stretched out his fingers and lightly poked Shen Guiwan's cheek.

"Huh?" Shen Guiwan snorted, but didn't even open his eyes.

Du Zhinian smiled and patted his head, "I'm back."

Shen Guiwan let out a soft and short nasal sound from his nasal cavity, rubbed against the quilt and buried his face in, leaving only a small piece of his forehead outside.

Du Zhinian was afraid that Shen Guiwan would bore him, so he opened the quilt a little for him, and went to the refrigerator to get a can of cold beer, and leaned against the bedside table to drink while watching him.

Shen Guiwan's eyelashes are very long and curly, they cover her eyes when she sleeps, and occasionally she would flutter a few times if she couldn't sleep well.

His eyes are beautiful Danfeng eyes, and his eyes are cold and distant when he is not talking, but what Du Zhinian likes most is the way Shen Guiwan looks up at him, and he likes him silently accusing himself with wet eyes when he is in love.

Du Zhinian likes everything about Shen Guiwan, and wants to be able to see him and touch him every day when he wakes up.

"Wanwan." Du Zhinian swallowed the bitter beer, "Would you like to come with me..."

He asked cautiously. The person curled up in the quilt was unconscious and could not hear what Du Zhinian said.

Du Zhinian didn't get a response, he leaned against the bed and lightly rubbed Shen Guiwan's face hidden under the quilt.

Shen Guiwan always recovers very slowly from illness, the low-grade fever lasted for a whole day, and the next morning the fever finally subsided, but he looked listless again.

He couldn't keep up his spirits, and even when Du Zhinian asked him what he wanted for breakfast, he had to react for a long time before he answered dully. Even if Du Zhinian wanted to confess to him, it was impossible for him to say those sensitive and sharp things topic.

This matter has been kept in Du Zhinian's mind for a long time, and he procrastinated until the weekend before he finally found a chance to test Shen Guiwan.

On Saturday, Du Zhinian was sorting out the thesis materials he had saved in his study, while Shen Guiwan sat cross-legged on the carpet with his computer in his arms and watched a movie as usual.

He didn't wear headphones and didn't put an external speaker, just watched a silent black and white movie.

Shen Guiwan remained silent, while Du Zhinian finished the work at hand and began to deal with the unread messages squeezed in his social accounts.

He quickly answered the resident's questions, rejected the invitation to have a small dinner and drink, swiped down a few times, and saw the dean sandwiched between the official account push.

The dean sent the so-called reference materials, but he actually asked Du Zhinian to choose one of them so that he could make arrangements.

Du Zhinian glanced at Shen Guiwan and saw that he was still watching a movie, so he clicked on the information sent by the dean.

Those materials are nothing more than things related to studying abroad, one in Europe and one in North America.

Du Zhinian browsed through it hastily. The conditions in all aspects of North America are very good. It can be seen that the people who arranged these things took care of them, but Du Zhinian always felt that something was missing.

So he clicked on the second file, and as soon as the file was loaded, a title with the word "Germany" appeared in front of Du Zhinian.

Du Zhinian's mind was completely blank for a moment, he was stunned for a long time, and hesitantly called out: "Shen Guiwan."

Shen Guiwan raised his head in response, and looked at Du Zhinian with his clean eyes without blinking. When Du Zhinian met those clear eyes, he suddenly felt guilty for no reason.

He settled down and pretended to ask casually, "Why did you learn German in the first place?"

Shen Guiwan didn't answer Du Zhinian's question right away, but turned his head to look at the computer without speaking.

There was a moment of silence in the study, and Du Zhinian's heart went up and down several times before he heard Shen Guiwan's indifferent voice: "It's the adjustment."

"Really." Du Zhinian said, turning his gaze to the computer screen again.

Du Zhinian slowly swiped the mouse to browse the information on the computer. The second European information sorted out three hospitals. The conditions and treatment were not much different from those in North America, but they were quite different in other aspects.

In North America, I can communicate with my colleagues in English. Du Zhinian needs to read some English literature from time to time. With the original dumb English and the pressure of the social environment, it is not a problem to carry out daily conversations.

But Europe is different. English is not available everywhere. If you go there, you have to learn the language from scratch, and you may even meet people who speak different languages ​​in the surrounding countries. The love-hate entanglement, the worldly way is even more troublesome.

It seems that North America is more suitable in all aspects, but it is always snowing in those places, Shen Guiwan is so afraid of the cold, it will be difficult to stay there.

After thinking about it, Du Zhinian called Shen Guiwan again.

"If there is a chance in the future... I mean if." He tried to conceal his intention, "Do you want to go to Germany?"

Shen Guiwan was frightened by the hypothetical, abrupt and unprepared question. His wide-eyed eyes were full of confusion and confusion. After digesting Du Zhinian's question, he lowered his head while holding the computer.

Shen Gui listened to the professor speak a lot about his experience abroad when he was studying at night. He didn't feel touched at that time, but he still had some thoughts in his heart.

It was only later that I realized that I would never be able to realize that thought, so I slowly forgot it.

"think."

His voice sounded sullen, and his fingers holding the computer were digging at the edge of the metal case, and his nails made sporadic sounds as they struck the case.

The atmosphere suddenly became heavy, and Du Zhinian regretted probing Shen Guiwan so abruptly.

He frantically searched for topics in his mind that could relieve the atmosphere, Shen Guiwan suddenly asked again: "If I can get the certificate, will you take me there?"

The word "if" was also added to Shen Guiwan's question, but Du Zhinian didn't think of him in the direction of testing, and only regarded Shen Guiwan as a hypothesis.

"Yes." He replied without thinking.

That crisp answer echoed in the quiet study room, Du Zhinian seemed to smile when he saw Shen Guiwan, but when he wanted to take a closer look, Shen Guiwan's face was flat and expressionless, As if that shallow smile was just his illusion.

After a short conversation, Shen Guiwan hugged the computer and watched the movie again. Du Zhinian peeked through the gap between the computer and the bookshelf for a while, but felt dissatisfied after a while.

He walked up to Shen Guiwan and knelt down on one knee, put his arm around Shen Guiwan's waist, and leaned his head on the warm neck, "I want to do it."

Du Zhinian suddenly wanted to hug Shen Guiwan and kiss Shen Guiwan so strongly that he couldn't ignore it, and even squeezed out all the thoughts in his mind.

"Now?" Shen Guiwan's voice sounded like he was laughing, and seemed a bit helpless, but his tone was gentle.

Go fuck for a refresher.Du Zhinian cursed secretly in his heart.

He rubbed against Shen Guiwan, leaned over and whispered, "Now."

Shen Guiwan put the computer on his lap on the ground, opened his arms and hugged Du Zhinian's shoulders.

"Then go to bed." He whispered next to Du Zhinian's ear, "The floor is uncomfortable."

The two of them hadn't done each other for many days, and the long-lost entanglement was gentle and long. Shen Guiwan was always held in Du Zhinian's arms, and was constantly asked for kisses by the excited man.

He and Du Zhinian reached the peak almost at the same time. Du Zhinian leaned over him to pant, his teeth restlessly biting his soft earlobe.

Du Zhinian likes to hug Shen Guiwan stickily, kiss and bite his ear when he is tender afterwards, which is usually a signal to do it again, but this time Du Zhinian hugged Shen Guiwan and went to the bathroom after kissing for a while.

Shen Guiwan didn't react when his body rose into the air, and waited until Du Zhinian hugged him and began to fill the bathtub, then he leaned into his arms and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"

"It's your illness, don't mess around." Du Zhinian patted Shen Guiwan's butt lightly, and put him in the bathtub.

Slightly scalding water flowed from the faucet, from Shen Guiwan's knees to his shoulders. After the affair, his tired and empty body was soaked in warm water, and the hot water cared for every place.

Du Zhinian finished draining the water, sat in the bathtub, hugged Shen Guiwan from behind and began to clean up.

The stimulation of hot water pouring in was too strong for Shen Guiwan now, he struggled a little in Du Zhinian's arms a few times, with a soft moan in his throat, and finally he reluctantly held it back.

Du Zhinian was so hooked by Shen Guiwan that he almost couldn't hold back his anger, took a few deep breaths to calm down, and sat in the bathtub with him and kissed again.

The bathtub set off a turbulent wave, and the overflowing waves slapped on the tiles in the bathroom. The crisp sound of the waves overwhelmed the sound of the entanglement of lips and tongues during kissing, and the splashed fine water droplets dispersed in the mist.

After Du Zhinian kissed enough, he began to touch the wounds on Shen Guiwan's body again.

He walked along Shen Guiwan's chest from the wound left by the broken ribs to the torn scar on the slanted back. The skin soaked in warm water was warm and soft, and the tactile sensation of the hideous scar became clearer and stronger. Can not ignore.

Du Zhinian kissed the crooked scar, and asked, "Shen Guiwan, what if I'm not here anymore and no one will help you treat the wound?"

"In the past, if it was not serious, I would bear it by myself. If it was too serious, I would go to the hospital." Shen Guiwan said, "Sometimes I wake up in the hospital."

"It's been like this for years."

After being beaten to pieces by Shen Lu and even fractured, he passed out from the cold and severe pain caused by the loss of blood. What Shen Guiwan saw when he opened his eyes was either a dark and gloomy bedroom or the pale ceiling of the hospital.

Injured, hospitalized, re-injured after being discharged from the hospital, re-hospitalized... This process was repeated every time. He had long been used to patience, and even became numb. The last time he woke up and saw Du Zhinian sitting on the carpet holding hands, it was a little difficult to adapt.

Du Zhinian remained silent and sat holding Shen Guiwan for a long time, until the water in the bathtub stopped steaming before letting go.

"The water is getting cold, I'll hug you up."

He wrapped Shen Guiwan in a bath towel, carried him to the bed to dry off the water droplets on his body and hair, and put the clean pajamas on Shen Guiwan's body after applying body lotion.

Shen Guiwan was quiet the whole time, still with the usual docile appearance of being at the mercy of Du Zhinian.

After cleaning up the bedroom and bathroom, Du Zhinian sat by the bed and held Shen Guiwan's hand, stroking his palm with his fingertips.

"Shen Guiwan." Du Zhinian said Shen Guiwan's name word by word.

Shen Guiwan felt Du Zhinian's strange emotion, instead he took his hand and pressed his palm against it, "What's wrong?"

Hearing Shen Guiwan's gentle and calm question, Du Zhinian suddenly felt that he was despicable.

Shen Guiwan has a cold temper, but afterwards he will become more gentle and talkative, even if he makes excessive demands, he will not be angry, let alone refuse.

While Du Zhinian scolded himself for being stinky and shameless, he didn't have the courage to face the reality and only dared to take advantage of it, but at the same time he couldn't help thinking that Shen Guiwan would soften his heart and agree after hearing his confession.

He squeezed Shen Guiwan's fingertips, hesitantly said: "I... have something to tell you."