Self-knowledge

13

The first time they felt dissatisfied with Ye Xiang was after they were together for four years.

At that time, he was working as a screw in a state-owned enterprise. Not long after he joined the job, he was scolded for serving tea and water for photocopying, and he also nodded and bowed cheerfully to apologize to his superior teacher.

Squeezing the sardine-like cans back home, I was too tired to lift my hands and didn't want to do anything, so I lay on the sofa and played with the game console while waiting for Ye Xiang to come home.Ye Xiang went to work and opened the door, and what he saw was Lin Jiaxu lying on the sofa, kicking his legs and holding the game console to play. Snack crumbs were scattered in the cracks of the sofa, on the ground, and on the coffee table. The swallowed Coke can was crumbling.

Ye Xiang snatched the game console from his hand, and threw it onto the coffee table with a dark face.

"Lin Jiaxu, you get off work at 05:30 every day, and you still want to be an uncle when you get home? Can't you cook a meal?"

He was about to clear the customs, and when the handheld was taken away, he suddenly became angry, "I'm too tired at work today, what's the matter when I come back to take a rest? I was educated at the work unit and come back to listen to your education? Am I your hourly worker or something?"

He didn't know that Ye Xiang was also angry in the company during the day. Obviously, the superior sent the wrong blueprint version, and there were a lot of problems in the final review. The usually cheerful boss turned around and pushed all the reasons for the mistakes to him. Criticism will be reported in front of the whole group, and all performance bonuses for this quarter will be deducted.

In a strange accident, Ye Xiang said something that he would regret very much in the future, "You are still busy with that job?"

Lin Jiaxu's face turned from black to white, and his heart was stabbed severely. What a man values ​​most is face and dignity. His sense of inferiority that he usually had for no reason in front of Ye Xiang was infinitely magnified at this moment. He raised his head in a daze, as if still Seeing the sneer on Ye Xiang's face, he laughed at his incompetence.

Lin Jiaxu slammed the door and left with his phone and wallet.

He randomly found an Internet cafe to surf the Internet all night, ignored the more than eighty calls from Ye Xiang, and directly called the phone until it ran out of battery and automatically shut down.

He didn't go back until early the next morning, and had no choice but to go to work. He had to go back to get his key card and change a set of clothes.

As soon as he got out of the elevator, he saw Ye Xiang sitting in front of their house, staring blankly at the direction of the elevator, his eyes were red, and he looked like he had been crying for a long time.

"Jiaxu." His voice was hoarse, "Where have you been, I'm worried about you."

Lin Jiaxu ignored him, went into the room to change clothes, the Internet cafe smelled like cigarettes, he planned to take a shower first, Ye Xiang followed him, said sorry carefully, and asked him where he went.

Lin Jiaxu turned his head and looked directly at Ye Xiang coldly.

The relationship between the two is like this, like a balance that is difficult to balance, once one side compromises first, the other end will add more weight, and the upper and lower positions are strictly limited.

He thought of the flashes of unbearable and loss in his daily life.

When the year-end bonus was issued last year, he only received a big seafood gift package. That night, Ye Xiangliang told him that the boss at the top appreciated him very much, and gave him a special year-end bonus, which took him a full 5 yuan.

At that time, he smiled and said that my Ah Xiang was the best, but he didn't have the nerve to mention the pile of frozen fish, crab and shrimp stuffed in the freezer.

When his thoughts came back, he... sneered, "It's okay to ask me to forgive you, you can figure it out yourself."

Ye Xianghong looked at him with red eyes, then knelt down on his knees, raised his head, a little crystal water vapor overflowed from the corners of his eyes, and his eyes were a little dazed to please,...

He knew that the smell must be very bad, he didn't take a shower all day and night, and stayed all night in the Internet cafe, it must be smelly and dirty.

But when he... a huge sense of satisfaction arises spontaneously.

Even if he is not as good as him, so what.

He can still make Ye Xiang kneel and surrender, Ye Xiang trampled on his self-esteem, then he can win it back in another form.

Pride and self-esteem made him slowly treat this love as a game, and all his chips were Ye Xiang's love.

The liking and exclusiveness towards Ye Xiang gradually changed, and Ye Xiang still looked cold and unapproachable to outsiders, like an unattainable branch, only he could pick it, only in front of him, Ye Xiang was a vine , must rely on him to survive.

Afterwards, through quarrels and Ye Xiang's weakness, he no longer had to be accused of not doing housework, because Ye Xiang was willing to bear everything.

Their way of getting along has also gradually changed. Ye Xiang gradually stopped resisting his unilateral verbal violence.Sometimes they quarreled too fiercely, or he reflected on himself that he had done something wrong, and occasionally he would make a small fuss and say a few soft words. Ye Xiang always surrendered quickly, pinching his face and whispering softly Accept his apology.

Unknowingly, however, Ye Xiang also became more and more indifferent. This perception made Lin Jiaxu feel uneasy, and the quarrels became more frequent.

He eagerly proved through his emotional venting and Ye Xiang's usual weakness that Ye Xiang still loves him deeply as usual and is willing to make concessions for him.

In any case, he thought that Ye Xiang's love would be forever and ever as promised under the starry sky on Ye Xiang's birthday.

It was only when he looked back suddenly that he realized that the chips in his hand were already zero, and he had been cleared out of the game.

The author has something to say:

...with omissions

Still wb has the full text

does not affect the plot