rest of life 22

In Chinese, "pity" itself means love. "Compassion" itself is love.So, what is the difference between these two words?I think, my treatment of Wang Yuyin should be the so-called "love and affection".

"Qingyu, do you still remember Chen Ziqi?" I asked.

"Of course she remembers, she is probably the first person to cuckold me!" Xu Qingyu said with a smile.

"However, since then, there has been no contact!" He continued thoughtfully. "What about you? Have you contacted Zhao Han?" He asked.

"No more! She seems to be getting married in the near future!" I said with a wry smile.

"Have you ever loved Chen Ziqi?" I suddenly wanted to ask this question, which seems to me to be an extremely contradictory question in Xu Qingyu's heart.

"It can't be called love! After all, everything was so absurd in our beginning. Maybe it's pity!" He thought for a while and said slowly.

"Affection? A kind of love that applies to all girls, or a desire to protect girls that many boys have?"

"It's understandable to say that. I don't like girls who are too independent and independent. Of course, this dislike does not mean that I oppose the lifestyle and attitude of life of 'strong women'. It's just personal emotion. I don't like girls like this when I My girlfriend, or wife! It has to do with my personality. I am a slightly machismo person, I don’t like to be arranged, I don’t like to interfere.”

"Oh? But that's right. We don't have to worry about going out on weekdays. You've already made arrangements for food, lodging, and itinerary. The most important point is that every time you go to a place, you seem to have lived for a long time. Even as if I was born and bred, I will never get lost if I follow you!" I am very willing to go out and play with him. Truly the best gift ever!

"To be precise, my desire to possess and protect is extremely strong! When she is pregnant but I, an outsider, can only buy contraceptives for her, she is very helpless. Therefore, the desire to The desire to protect is infinitely expanded."

"So, the beginning of me and her was very unreasonable. At least, it was very unreasonable to me. This time, it was not love!" He said a lot, as if doing a deep analysis and reflection.Perhaps, this is a love that is not love.So, what is love that is not love?

We slept soundly that night.Climbing a mountain is a physical effort. After climbing the mountain, we are already tired and feel like we are falling apart.We lay on the bed next to each other, in a daze, and kissed.It's like dreaming.At that moment, I couldn't care about anything else.After all, in dreams, people can be unscrupulous.We slept until the sun was three poles before waking up.Of course, in winter in the north, it is said that the sun is three poles high, but if you use your body to feel the sun, you will not feel much warmth.What's more, the breeze hits people.

"It seems that when we get to the county, it's too late to go home!" I looked at my watch and said "gloating" from the side.

"Oh! Then, I won't go back. Really, if I don't come out, it will last for three days." She sighed, feeling helpless and blaming herself.

"It's okay, big deal, let me explain to your parents! Do you dare to let me explain? Haha, I'm not afraid!" I teased.

"Okay, let's go!" She refused decisively. "You are brave and thick-skinned." She didn't forget to mock me at the end.

We went to the snack street in the county, the place we used to go to when we were studying, remembering everything that has long since passed away.That night, we talked a lot about school days.

"You, what's the matter with your parents? It feels like they're divorced." I lay on the bed in the hotel and asked her who was lying next to me. Son.

"If it's a divorce, maybe it will be much better!" Her voice was very low, so low that if she wasn't by my side, I would never be able to hear it.

"I roughly guessed it from your usual performance and your answering the phone today. Is your guess wrong?"

"Well, wrong..." She answered me briefly, and then fell silent.And I can only be silent with her. "Shouldn't be asking that question," I thought.

Suddenly, she hugged me hard, hugged my neck tightly, bit my lip, and kissed me fiercely.It's like trying to swallow me up.For a long, long time, I responded to him, until she exhausted her strength and collapsed on my chest.I felt a bit of coolness passing through my chest, into my heart, and directly to my mind.At that moment, I became sober and understood a lot.She twitched, her arms hugging me tightly.I don't know what to say, and I don't know what to do.I gently patted her back, gently stroked her hair, and gently let her cry wantonly on my chest.

"You know what? I like when someone hugs me from behind and falls asleep with me." After a long time, she stopped crying.It was as if nothing had happened, except for a trace of moisture remaining in the corner of her eyes, which proved what happened just now.Of course, if I had to use this as evidence, she would have said, "That's because I yawned."

"Many times I woke up in the middle of the night, and I always felt as if someone was staring at me behind me, watching me all the time." She paused, "Since I was eight years old, it has been like a nightmare. This It's a disease, a disease that can never be cured!"

"Just now you also said that you heard me and my mother on the phone. Yes, they are also called mom, but they are different after all. Stepmother, a stepmother without any emotional foundation, I have to call mom too !” She smiled, a bit miserably.

There was another silence.She was regulating her emotions, and I was digesting her words.A completely unexpected message. "After reading together for several years, I don't even know! However, I don't seem to know." I thought.

"My mother, stomach cancer. She died when I was eight years old!" She must have adjusted, and continued to speak in a calm, emotionless tone. "My mother, divorced and remarried, has a daughter who is older than me. She came when I was 16 years old. She doesn't stay at home for a long time every year. I study with my grandparents, so I rarely communicate with each other on weekdays."

"Hey? Tell me, what's the meaning of the term mom? Can it be called casually? Isn't it just like Yu Xiaosheng, your name is the same, anyone can call you that, anyone can call you that A name?" She asked, looking up, staring at me.

"At least, if you want to name me, you must have the surname Yu! Of course, it seems that the surname can also be changed. Also, if you want to call me Mom, at least it should be a woman. However, there seem to be exceptions." I replied. ambiguous.

"Uh, saying it is the same as not saying it." She rolled her eyes, and then simply stopped looking at me, using silence to object to my perfunctory.

"Haha, okay! I really can't do anything about you." I patted her head and said. "This word, to be precise, can be called both birth and support. The one who gave birth to you is the mother. The one who raises you can also be called the mother. If you have both, you are also a mother. However, if you don't have this For the two, you don’t need to be called mother. However, from the perspective of general social relations, your father’s spouse is naturally your mother. However, at this time, this title is more like a kind of etiquette before people. The performance." I analyzed it like this.

"Uh! I don't understand, don't be so wordy, okay, you know I'm too lazy to think." She said lazily in a lazily tone. "Okay, okay, I roughly understand it. Don't say it, it's hard for you." When I was about to explain further, she interrupted me in time.So, once again, we fell into silence.

Silence, people spend most of their life in silence, it can solve anything.When you don't know what to say, when you need to adjust the atmosphere, when you need to rest, when you want to live in your own world without saying anything.We were silent, and while we were silent, I was thinking about how to comfort her.She was either waiting for my comfort, or she was also thinking about how to tell her nightmare.

"It's over!" was all I could finally say.

"Really?" she replied coldly.

"Looks like it's not!" I paused for a moment, then denied my words with a wry smile. "Yeah, existence is existence, what happened is what happened, and it cannot be reversed. Can't make it through, can't make it through!"

"So what?" she asked.

"If you can't get past it, then admit it and face it directly." I said firmly, or "I don't feel backache while standing and talking". "At least, you have other relatives. At least, her departure is because of something that cannot be solved by manpower, and she is no longer in pain!"

"Pain is right, pain! Sickness, and pain in the heart. It's good to leave, die early and be reborn early!" She cried, crying very wantonly, crying without any scruples.

"You know? She had a very bad time in those years. She was suffering from illness, and my dad didn't care much about her. She lives in this world, but it seems that she has been far away from this world, or has long been abandoned by this world .” She withdrew these impressions from her vague memory.It's like peeling it off and throwing it away completely. "I didn't see her for the last time. That day, no, it was the last month. I was taken to my grandparents. Since then, I have been living with my grandparents. People who are about to die, and the dead look very ugly Am I glad I didn't see it? Should I be glad that she is still a living person in my memory?"

"You don't know, you don't understand the sadness in my heart at all!" She hugged her tighter, and the tightness of her arms made me feel suffocated.She trembled all over, her lips turned white, she had already exhausted all her strength.

"I know, of course I know!" I hugged her, patted her back lightly, and gently relieved the muscles of her whole body. "At least, I have seen people who are about to die, I have seen dead people, and I have seen that close relative leave this world slowly."

"You know what? At that moment, you're not scared at all, and you're not sad. At least for a man, or for me, I didn't feel sad. I watched quietly lying on the bed, stopped breathing, He, who was withered all over, suddenly felt very relaxed. It was like a kind of relief, and at that moment, everyone was relieved."

"I only cried once, when he was sick and lying on the bed, weakly talking about his past, missing those who had passed away for decades, and saying 'I miss them'. He was skinny and skinny. Blue, chapped lips, and sunken eye sockets. He narrated intermittently, although speaking was very difficult, but he still didn't want to stop. It was as if he had to seize the time to revisit these things in his mind. It was as if, from now on No chance. And the fact, or the fact that he already knew, is that."

"And when you have seen these, you will find that the result that has been expected is actually nothing."

"Let's not talk about this, okay?" She interrupted me, staring at me who was a little out of control, and said.

"Okay! Don't talk about it, let them stay in our memory and accompany us to see this world of all kinds and unpredictable changes. At least, this proves that someone in this world once loved us. How lucky!"

"Ok!"

"kiss Me!"

"what"

……

I am a belated person, and I realized that I am a belated person.And the end result is that when I found out that I already liked her, it was too late.Because, in her words, I shouldn't like her.

"Why can't you be my girlfriend?" I asked bluntly.

"Because I have a boyfriend!"

"Do you like me?"

"like."

"Then, what about him?"

"I like it too."

"Then why did you choose him instead of me?"

"There is no reason, we are not suitable. Even if I did not choose him, I would not choose you. Because we are people from two worlds!"

"why would you say so?"

"You are good at studying, but I am poor at studying. You are far away, but I can only stay on the sidelines. Do you understand?"

"But these can all be changed by manpower! You can't change it, I will change it."

"I don't have time to wait for you to change! Besides, you don't have to change."

"But, I like you, I already like you!"

"So, forget about all that."

"How did you forget?"

"Don't think about it until the memory is worn away by time."

But time, is it really okay?

"It's 20 days until your birthday?"

"Yeah, why are you asking this?"

"I want to pursue you!"

"No, it's useless to chase after him. I won't agree."

"Is it the first time I pursue a girl, okay? Can't you let me try! It's up to you to agree or not, and it's up to me to pursue it or not."

"Ah! Well, it's up to you. Anyway, I won't agree!"

"Then, how should I chase you?"

"Please, why are you asking me this question?"

"I'll write a poem for you every day! A poem about love."

The first day, the second day, the third day...

"I can't live without you!" she said.

"I can't live without you!" I said.

"It's okay. After a long time, I will naturally forget it. Or, after this holiday, I will naturally fade away when I get busy," she said.

"Maybe!" I said helplessly.

...day tenth, day No.11, day No.12

"I ran into my boyfriend on the street today, and we walked together."

"Can I see you?"

"I don't want to come out."

"Then when can I see you again?"

"For the time being, don't see each other!"

No.19 days

"I'll ask one last time, really, can't it? No chance"

"Yes, no!"

"Do you like me? Or, do you like me more than before? Do you like me more than your boyfriend?"

"Yes! I like it."

"Wang Yuyin, do you know? I won't stick to it forever. I don't believe in time. Although 20 days is short, I can already see a person clearly, or at least I can see clearly a person's heart for another person. At least, I You have seen me clearly. You are really determined to let go of your determination and not accept me"

"Yes! I still insist. Thank you for your likes, thank you for your poems, and thank you for your unique birthday present."

"You're welcome, you know I did it voluntarily! Tell me, do I have a tendency to be abused? The more abused I feel, the happier I feel. Haha..."

"Don't do that, don't say that about yourself, you're fine, really fine!"

"Okay? So good, you are indifferent"

"Do not!"

"Then I lost to the distance. Yes, a different place, at least a year away. This is something that I can't compare with him."

"You didn't lose, it's all my fault!"

"There's nothing wrong with you. It's my fault. But after tomorrow, I won't look for you every day. Maybe, I can get used to the life without the other party in a few days! Isn't it? Haha."

"Yes, I will get used to it after all! After all, I will pass it."

No. 20 days.

"Happy birthday!"

"thanks!"

……