I take paranoia as a victim

Xiao Cheng held his breath slightly on the other end of the phone, his guess came true.

But Xiao Cheng still couldn't figure out how he could watch the person he liked suffer.

In his previous life, he didn't know that everything was Luo Jingshu's scheme, so how could he stand by and watch?

"I never said I would help you?" There was doubt and uncertainty in his voice.

Luo Jingshu knew that he probably wouldn't believe what he said, after all he was the only one who had the previous memories, Xiao Cheng might think that he was trying to sell miserably?

But he still affirmed: "You didn't."

Xiao Cheng was confused, he opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

He wanted to ask Luo Jingshu why, but Luo Jingshu was not a roundworm in his stomach, how could he know what he was thinking in his previous life.

"I..." Xiao Cheng only spit out one word, and the rest got stuck in his throat.

He stared at a certain place in the void in a daze. In the dim light, Xiao Cheng suddenly felt dizzy.

Luo Jingshu rubbed his eyebrows, he was indeed drunk, and in normal times, he would probably not tell Xiao Cheng his true thoughts.It's not that I want to hide it from him, but I'm embarrassed and dare not say it.

He was afraid that after speaking out, Xiao Cheng would feel that he was scheming and dislike him even more.

Luo Jingshu would rather Xiao Cheng not know.

He tried his best to maintain a harmless and innocent image in front of Xiao Cheng, because he firmly believed that Xiao Cheng loved him like that.

Brother Cheng would not like the real him.

But at this moment, the alcohol paralyzed the brain, those unspoken words seemed to lose their confinement, Luo Jingshu was finally willing to tell Xiao Cheng his sincere words one by one.

"Brother Cheng, you really liked me back then." His voice was drunk, hoarse and low, with imperceptible tenderness.

Xiao Cheng didn't interrupt, maybe the night will affect a person's mood and thinking ability, he has been reluctant to mention the days when he used to be a dog licker, but now that he thinks about it, it doesn't seem to be a big deal.

What's more, when these things came out of Luo Jingshu's mouth, it seemed that he had a different discovery.

Luo Jingshu didn't seem to need his answer either, saying that he was explaining the facts, rather than recalling the past.

After the memories covered by a layer of veil are lifted, it is not entirely the cold tip of the knife.

Under the layers of ice and snow, he once had a hot affection for someone.

Luo Jingshu smiled lightly: "When you first saw me, you also blushed like before, and stared at my face intently."

Xiao Cheng cursed silently, rubbed his cheeks, and felt the heat of shame with his fingertips.

He blushed.

Xiao Cheng was glad that Luo Jingshu couldn't see his appearance at the moment, so at least he was able to maintain the last bit of face.

He silently lowered the temperature of the air conditioner by a few degrees.

Sure enough, no one can keep calm when they hear their embarrassing stories.

In particular, the words came from the mouth of another party.

"Perhaps my appearance is really in line with your aesthetics, so that even if you have no memory of the past, you will still be tempted by this face."

When Xiao Cheng heard these words, Luo Jingshu's gorgeous face subconsciously appeared in his mind.

He admitted that Luo Jingshu's looks really fit his aesthetics, but his liking for Luo Jingshu was not just because of that face.

Regardless of whether it was this life or the previous life, there must be something else that attracted him.

But in front of Luo Jingshu, Xiao Cheng didn't explain.

It seems unnecessary to explain or not, after all, they have broken up.

"I didn't want to trust anyone at the time, including you of course. So at the beginning, I didn't believe that you liked me." When Luo Jingshu said this, there was a subtle pause in his voice, and Xiao Cheng didn't listen. come out.

He finally reached the most critical point, Xiao Cheng regained his energy and even straightened his back a little.

He always wanted to know why he was so abnormal, maybe Luo Jingshu could give him the answer.

Maybe even Luo Jingshu didn't know why, but Xiao Cheng hoped to get some useful information from his words, after all, he was still hiding a big secret.

"I admit that I'm not a good person. Whether it's this life or the last life, I never thought of trusting you." Luo Jingshu slowly closed his eyes. He listened to Xiao Cheng's breathing on the microphone, and he felt a heavy heart. The sadness and paranoia seemed to subside a little.

In any case, although Xiao Cheng is unwilling to forgive him now, at least this person is still alive in front of his eyes.

Luo Jingshu finally found a reason to live.

"Everything in the last life was just my scheme, but I never told you, and you didn't know about it."

Luo Jingshu spoke very slowly, as if he was organizing his words, and Xiao Cheng didn't rush him.

"You actually reminded me that Jiang Ying is not a good person, just like this time, you tried to persuade me to leave voluntarily." Luo Jingshu still didn't know how Xiao Cheng knew Jiang Ying's true face, but no matter in this life In the previous life, Xiao Cheng actually tried to rescue him.

"And then?" Xiao Cheng exhaled heavily, trying his best to suppress the tension and anxiety in his heart.

Up to here, what Luo Jingshu said was the same as what he had guessed.

It fits Xiao Cheng's character.

"But I didn't listen to you, I just asked you to take me away." Luo Jingshu couldn't help but stop at this point.

He seemed to have taken a deep breath, and when he spoke again his voice was even hoarse than before.

"But you refused."

Xiao Cheng had already guessed what he wanted to say, but even so, he still felt empty in his heart, and a sense of discomfort and sadness welled up in his body.

"Why do I……"

He wanted to ask Luo Jingshu why he rejected him, but he didn't even know about this question, so how could Luo Jingshu know?

"I tried three times in total." Luo Jingshu said, "You rejected them all."

He has always believed that there are only three servings, and when Xiao Cheng rejected him for the third time, he never thought about trusting Xiao Cheng again.

Xiao Cheng wanted to explain something to himself, but there seemed to be a lot of words stuck in his throat, but he didn't know where to start.

He couldn't explain it to himself.

If everything Luo Jingshu said is true, then from Luo Jingshu's point of view, his liking must be very ridiculous to the other party, right?

She clearly said she loved him, but she refused to lend a helping hand to him.

No wonder Luo Jingshu refused to believe him, even Xiao Cheng himself would not believe someone who said he loved him but refused to take action, and even watched him fall into the quagmire helplessly.

He seemed to have found a reason for Luo Jingshu's playing and deceiving himself after his rebirth, but Xiao Cheng still felt that he should be wronged.

Although he in the previous life was the same person as he in this life, he has never offended Luo Jingshu in this life.

Xiao Cheng was very confused. He really wanted to separate the self in the previous life from the self in this life, but he also felt that they were clearly a whole, and Luo Jingshu should really blame him.

But there was another voice in his heart defending him: even though he was cowardly and incompetent, he never hurt Luo Jingshu.

The two were silent for so long that they could only hear each other's breathing through the receiver.

Luo Jingshu seemed to be aware of Xiao Cheng's entanglements and struggles, and after thinking for a long time, he slowly said: "Brother Cheng, I have a guess, I don't know if I should tell you."

Xiao Cheng wiped his face with a hoarse voice: "Say it."

"Actually, I feel that your indifference is not because you don't want to, but because you can't." Luo Jingshu thought for a long time before deciding to tell Xiao Cheng these words.

The main reason is that his guess is groundless, and Xiao Cheng doesn't remember the events of his previous life, so the young man may not believe his words.

But Luo Jingshu didn't want Xiao Cheng to think that he was selling out the things of his previous life, or that he was using the things of the past to accuse the indifference and ruthlessness of depression.

It never occurred to him to do so.

Perhaps Xiao Cheng's guilt could be obtained temporarily by using this method, but that was not what Luo Jingshu wanted.

He has learned a profound lesson from the previous incidents. Lies will eventually be exposed one day, and the sympathy gained by deception will never last long.

What he wants is Xiao Cheng's love, unreserved love.

Xiao Cheng was pulled back from his mixed emotions by his words. He couldn't figure out who was right and who was wrong in these things. Perhaps both he and Luo Jingshu were responsible, and there were many reasons for today's results .

But Luo Jingshu's words gave him a new way of thinking.

"Why do you say that?" Xiao Cheng heard the sound of water and the sound of glass hitting through the receiver. Luo Jingshu was probably drinking again.

Xiao Cheng wanted to persuade him that drinking would hurt his health, but he felt that he had no position to say this now.

He lowered his eyes, the air conditioner in the room was still running, but his body under the quilt felt a little chilly.

"Many times, you always looked at me with tangled and painful eyes."

Luo Jingshu recalled the events of his previous life. In fact, since his rebirth, he tried his best to avoid recalling the events of the past.

Those who have come into contact with him are amazed by his skills and vision, but Luo Jingshu is not good at everything from the beginning.

When he returned to the Luo family last time, he was indeed just a young man who didn't understand anything.

All the abilities he has now, and every decision he makes, is learned after he fell countless times last time.

He deliberately pretended to be humble and weak in front of Jiang Ying, but that was also because he had no other way to protect himself.

The Luo family rushed to offer him to Jiang Ying, but he was helpless, so why would he refuse?

Luo Jingshu used to really have expectations for the Luo family.

When he was young, he was abused by his adoptive father countless times. The cowardly adoptive mother was unable to protect him, so she could only hold him and cry, and was beaten along with him.

Luo Jingshu was beaten so many times that his body was covered in bruises, and it was difficult for him to even walk.

At that time, he always wondered if his biological parents were still looking for him, they would definitely not treat him like this?

After finding his biological parents, will he be able to have normal fatherly love and motherly love?

The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.

Luo Jingshu returned to Luo's house full of expectations, but what greeted him was Mrs. Luo's indifference and Luo Yuan's hatred.

As for his father, he doesn't go home all the year round, and has a lot of lovers outside, how can he put his own son in his eyes?

Son, as long as he wants, the lover outside can give birth to him at any time.

This biological son who had been trafficked since childhood was like a stranger to him.

Luo Jingshu just jumped from one fire pit to another.

When disappointment accumulates, it turns into resentment.

He hates everyone and hates himself for not getting what he wants no matter how hard he tries.

Luo Jingshu endured humiliation by Jiang Ying's side and hid for four years.

He learned one thing from Jiang Ying: one should never be merciful to one's enemies.

So he ruined Jiang Ying's family and turned Mrs. Luo from a high-ranking wealthy lady into a low-level woman she despised the most.

He pinned his last hope on Xiao Cheng and made three attempts.

That was Luo Jingshu's hand stretched out from hell, and he longed for someone to give him a hand.

Unfortunately, even Xiao Cheng, who said he liked him, didn't choose to save him.

Luo Jingshu hated Xiao Cheng in the past, hated him for giving himself a little hope, but allowing himself to fall into the quagmire.

Xiao Cheng's love is more fragile than bubbles, it's like teasing a puppy when he's bored, watching him beg for his sympathy, but he still refuses to reach out to him.

But then he figured it out, just like what he said to Xiao Cheng at the moment.

"Maybe you wanted to help me, Brother Cheng, but I don't understand why, you didn't do anything in the end."

It's just that in the previous life, he was still unwilling to admit Xiao Cheng's entanglement, and unilaterally crossed Xiao Cheng, denying Xiao Cheng's feelings.

Luo Jingshu didn't know if Xiao Cheng could understand what he meant, he explained: "It's as if something is imprisoning you, you can only stand outside the circle to remind me, but you can't walk into the circle to hug me."

A few words immediately came to Xiao Cheng's mind: The plot of the original book!

He still didn't understand why he was indifferent to Luo Jingshu's experience, but now he had the most perfect explanation.

If he was restricted by the plot of the original book and could not change the plot arbitrarily after he traveled through the book last time, then he could only remind Luo Jingshu, but he could not really change Luo Jingshu's fate.

Therefore, the fate of Luo Jingshu in the previous life was still forced to follow the plot of the original novel. No matter whether he was sincere or not, he was like the plot of the original novel.

And Xiao Cheng could only stay by his side painfully and entangled, unable to really save him.

But the strange thing is that in this life, Xiao Cheng has never felt the restrictions of the original plot, and the plot was completely messed up from the very beginning.

Ever since he met Luo Jingshu by the swimming pool, nothing has followed the original book.

If he was restricted by the original work in the previous life, why did the power of the original work suddenly disappear in this life?

Xiao Cheng still couldn't figure it out, but he finally had some clues.

"Brother Cheng, you don't have any memories of those years. Maybe you won't believe what I said, but I never thought of lying to you again." Luo Jingshu held the wine glass with one hand, swirled the liquid in the glass, The eyes are also a little divergent.

His logic was no longer very clear, and some of his words were inconsistent, but Xiao Cheng could still understand what he meant.

Luo Jingshu murmured intermittently, but they were just words of apology.

Xiao Cheng didn't know what to say again.

He himself understood that the reason why he didn't help Luo Jingshu in his previous life was because of the restrictions of the original plot, but Luo Jingshu didn't know.

Luo Jingshu's deception and mistrust of him were not without reason, Xiao Cheng tried to think from Luo Jingshu's point of view.

If there is such a person by his side who says he likes him but refuses to rescue him, he will turn a blind eye to his pleading for help.

Would he also suspect that the other party was just playing for fun?

Would he also feel that the likes the other party said were not sincere.

Not to mention that after Luo Jingshu was reborn, when he met him again, he said he liked Luo Jingshu again.

Did Luo Jingshu think at that time, why did this person lie to me once, and why would he lie to me a second time?

Xiao Cheng seemed to understand Luo Jingshu's thoughts.

If it was him, he would also be suspicious and angry.

Although no one has ever stipulated that if he likes Luo Jingshu, he must help the other party. This is moral kidnapping.But then again, he is not even willing to try, so why should he ask Luo Jingshu to believe in his sincerity?

If Xiao Cheng encountered this kind of thing, he would just stay away from this person silently, no longer believe in his liking, let alone pin his hopes on him.

But Luo Jingshu is different. He has a paranoid and distorted personality, and holds great malice towards the world.

Xiao Cheng probably understood why he would play with his feelings after rebirth.

I understand, but don't agree.

After all, it was himself who was hurt.

He and Luo Jingshu couldn't tell who was right and who was wrong, as if both were right, and both seemed to be responsible.

Xiao Cheng rubbed his temples, and suddenly remembered another thing.

"Luo Jingshu, you..." He hesitated, "After you took revenge on Jiang Ying last time, did you..."

Xiao Cheng hesitated and spoke hesitantly, Luo Jingshu didn't understand what he meant for a moment.

"Ok?"

He was already drunk, leaning on the sofa with half-closed eyes, the wine glass in his hand could not be squeezed steadily, the glass fell on the carpet, and the wine wet the carpet.

Luo Jingshu's reaction was very slow, his head was in a mess, but he still responded to Xiao Cheng immediately.

Although he didn't even react, what did he say.

Xiao Cheng exhaled, "Do you still remember the fire?"

Did the dream he had really happen last time, or did he just have that dream because he was too scared.

Luo Jingshu was silent for several seconds before he understood Xiao Cheng's meaning.

"how do you know……"

Doesn't Xiao Cheng have no previous memories? Why did he know about the fire?

Luo Jingshu's chaotic mind suddenly recalled the situation in his previous life. He didn't have any... nostalgia for that world. After taking revenge on those people, life seemed to have lost its meaning.

Luo Jingshu chose to commit suicide.

But he was the only one in the room at that time, so Xiao Cheng should not be there.

Perhaps it was later that he learned of his death.

Luo Jingshu suddenly wanted to ask him, after learning the news of his death, did Xiao Cheng feel sorry for him?

There should be, Brother Cheng loves him.

It's just that Luo Jingshu was completely disappointed in him at that time.

Thinking about it now, after his rebirth, the reason why he fell in love with Xiao Cheng so quickly may have something to do with Xiao Cheng's initiative.

Luo Jingshu even thought that maybe he didn't have no feelings for Xiao Cheng in his previous life, otherwise he wouldn't have tried Xiao Cheng three times knowing the result.

Maybe during those few temptations, he never thought that maybe Xiao Cheng could give him the response he wanted.

As long as Xiao Cheng tried to help him, even if he failed in the end, Luo Jingshu would not be completely disappointed in him.

That's why in this life, under Xiao Cheng's proactive approach again and again, he fell so quickly.

Because those initiatives and enthusiasm are things he has been looking forward to for a long time.

Xiao Cheng's face appeared in Luo Jingshu's mind, whether smiling or complaining, it was lively and bright.

"So you really set yourself on fire?!"

Xiao Cheng changed his voice back to Luo Jingshu's Piaoyuan thoughts, he hummed softly, couldn't help moistening his chapped lips with the tip of his tongue, his heartbeat sped up a little for no reason.

"Why are you!" Xiao Cheng's tone became more urgent, as if he wanted to scold him for not being up to date, but he couldn't speak out when the words came to his lips.

What should he say, to make Luo Jingshu cherish life?

How disappointed Luo Jingshu must be with the people around him for being able to go to the point of committing suicide.

Xiao Cheng's eyes were a little sore, he grabbed the quilt under his hands tightly, "Then, do you still have this idea now?"

No matter how much he complained about Luo Jingshu's indifference and teasing, he still couldn't helplessly watch Luo Jingshu commit suicide.

Although he did scold the other party to die when he was angry at the beginning, but that was not Xiao Cheng's sincere words.

"No more." Luo Jingshu pushed back his hair, his swollen head seemed to wake up a bit, and he seemed to hear a little trembling in Xiao Cheng's voice.

Luo Jingshu assured him: "I want to live, Brother Cheng, there is you in this world."

It's not that he's all alone without worries, he finally has someone he cares about.

Luo Jingshu's words were breathy, and he silently bent the corners of his lips, like a promise or a prayer.

"I want to love you."

Xiao Cheng had a sore nose and almost shed tears.

He obviously should feel angry, but the moment he heard this sentence, he couldn't stop wanting to cry.

Luo Jingshu is paranoid and domineering in his heart, but he is still willing to humble himself in the dust in front of Xiao Cheng, begging for the other party's mercy over and over again.

Xiao Cheng wiped away a little water from the corner of his eyes with his fingertips, and rubbed it away between his fingertips.

The accounts between him and Luo Jingshu have long been unclear.

He couldn't justly accuse Luo Jingshu of deceit, but he couldn't forgive Luo Jingshu from now on and get back together with him.

Xiao Cheng didn't speak, but Luo Jingshu seemed to seize the opportunity.

"Brother Cheng, I beg you."

"Give me another chance to love you, okay?"

Luo Jingshu coaxed in a low voice, his tone full of pleading...

"This time it's me who will pursue you, and you will test my sincerity."

Xiao Cheng couldn't deny that at that moment, he was really moved by this proposal.

Even when he hated Luo Jingshu the most, Xiao Cheng couldn't say that he didn't love him.

His love for Luo Jingshu has never stopped, but he was suppressed by hatred and grievances, unwilling to show it.

But just so relieved, Xiao Cheng felt that he was too easy to coax.

He was angry with himself for not living up to expectations, for being too soft-hearted, but knowing Luo Jingshu's miserable situation in the past, he felt pity for him.

But he couldn't let Luo Jingshu go as firmly as before.

Xiao Cheng remained silent for a longer time this time, and Luo Jingshu didn't rush him, but just quietly listened to his breathing.

No matter what Cheng Ge's final answer is, his mind will not change.

He wants to chase Xiao Cheng back and love him for the rest of his life.

One day, Xiao Cheng will believe his feelings.

"You..." Xiao Cheng paused, but did not answer him, but changed the subject: "Should you return the necklace to me?"

Although he designed the necklace and planned to give it to Luo Jingshu, Luo Jingshu didn't have any problems.

Luo Jingshu breathed heavily, "Can't you give it to me?"

He seemed a little aggrieved.

"You didn't want it when I gave it to you, didn't you? I don't want to give it now." Xiao Cheng's ears were inexplicably hot. Although he didn't remember what happened before, he could imagine that when he handed the necklace to Luo Jingshu, it was What a scene.

"I want it!" Luo Jingshu covered his lips and coughed, "I didn't want it because..."

He didn't finish his sentence, but Xiao Cheng knew what he wanted to say.

Luo Jingshu didn't want the necklace because he was too repetitive and entangled back then.

He was limited by the original work and could not interfere with the development of the plot, so he could only secretly express his affection for Luo Jingshu.

Luo Jingshu didn't believe that he liked it at all, and of course he wouldn't accept the necklace he gave.

Xiao Cheng couldn't explain it, even though he knew why he did that, he didn't want to tell Luo Jingshu about the transmigration.

If this secret is not a last resort, he does not want another person to know it.

"Anyway, you didn't ask for it at the time." Xiao Cheng's tone was filled with relaxation that he didn't realize, "I don't want to give it now."

Luo Jingshu said with a hoarse voice, "Okay."

"Then I'll give it back to you."

"But can you put it away first and don't give it to others?"

Xiao Cheng was silent: "Who do you want to talk about?"

He seemed to think for a few seconds, and said softly: "Mr. Bai probably wouldn't wear this kind of jewelry. Senior Xie might like it. It suits him well."

"Xiaoxi and Xiaonan also look good on them, but there is only one necklace, and they don't share it evenly. If I want to give it to them, do I have to design another one?"

Luo Jingshu suddenly increased his breathing, he closed his eyes unbearably, gritted his teeth, and begged in a low voice:

"Brother Cheng!"