are you a clown

It's self-evident who this "she" refers to, but Lin Chensan doesn't understand why she wants to tell Er Jiasi about Lin Jianwu, and then, instead of asking her to tell, it's better to come to see me face to face.

Lin Chensan looked at the soy sauce and vinegar she was carrying, and then remembered that she had never told Er Jiasi that she lived with Lin Jianwu, and Er Jiasi didn't know that she liked her roommate .

Ma Tiantian probably doesn't know Lin Jianwu's name yet, so no one in this world other than herself knows that Lin Chensan likes Lin Jianwu.

Suddenly, a kind of secret happiness arose in her heart, and she knew it was not very moral.I just said that to Er Jiasi, and the result is like this, no matter it is moral or reasonable, it is a bit unreasonable, but I am happy... The corners of my mouth can't be pressed down, and in this situation , There is another urge to cry, is this sad?Lin Chensan didn't know either.What she just said was normal, and she may not have thought much about it, but as far as the priority of the matter is concerned, she shouldn't have any reason to feel sad about it.

Make it clear to Er Jiasi that this is indeed the best way for both parties.Two or three words, less involvement, more time to do what you want to do.They all have their own lives.

But why?

Is she not used to this kind of parting... Unknowingly, Lin Chensan has already acquiesced that he will not go to Erjiasi's appointment the next day...

It seemed that the tears that Er Jiasi frightened and stopped that night finally had a reason to fall after nearly a month.When the first tear came out of his eyes, Lin Chensan took a few deep breaths, but he still couldn't bring himself back to his normal state.It’s just that Erjiasi shouldn’t have such great energy. It’s to draw out the parting memories that I have been experiencing all the time. At the same time, there are other problems. The emotion of crying is also mixed in here... The barrier of emotional isolation still exists, but the tears still flow down like this.

Sudden sadness is always like this, Lin Chensan knows that until tomorrow, or maybe after a night of sleep, this bad mood will disappear, and everything can be regarded as never happened, but right now, small emotions are accumulating , like a huge net enveloping her.

Stop thinking about it...

So, it doesn't matter if it's just 10 minutes, let her be sad for 10 minutes alone...

*

Half an hour has passed since I told Lin Chensan to buy soy sauce and vinegar, and the food on the table was going to be cold. Lin Jianwu remembered it very clearly. According to the usual situation, at this time, no matter what, Lin Chensan Should have been back.Today was an unexpected situation.

Wechat message, no reply.

Two seconds after the call was made, Lin Jianwu heard Lin Chensan's cell phone ringing somewhere in the house, but Lin Jianwu was sure that Lin Chensan hadn't come back: she was in the kitchen , and did not hear the sound of the door opening and closing at the entrance.

However, Lin Chensan's cell phone ringtone is still the original one that comes with the cell phone. For this house, there must be several neighbors with the same cell phone ringtone as Lin Chensan. Lin Jianwu thought it was because of poor sound insulation. It was the cell phone of a neighbor who hadn’t returned to her hometown for the Chinese New Year. When she hung up the phone, the ringtone disappeared out of thin air. She just dialed the number she knew by heart and used her sensitive ears , with the mobile phone leaning against her left ear, she walked all the way to a place where the voice became clearer and clearer.

In fact, there is no need to listen at all. Lin Chensan didn't come back, he wasn't in the house, so he was outside the house. Lin Jianwu pressed the doorknob and opened the door. He saw that the door was used to pile up kitchen garbage at night. The next morning A person squatted in the corner where Lin Chensan went to throw it.

Lin Jianwu approached.

The man didn't look up, his arms hugged his knees, his face was buried in his knees, and he said in a muffled voice, "Please give me another 2 minutes."

And when Lin Jianwu also squatted down, the man hugged his knees tightly with his arms: "Two minutes will be enough."

Lin Jianwu didn't know what happened to Lin Chensan, but since the other party said so, she just looked at Lin Chensan's phone and waited for 2 minutes... After 2 minutes, she dialed the phone again, and she raised her hand. With the mobile phone in his hand, he said to Lin Chensan who was opposite: "My girlfriend called you, don't you plan to answer it?"

"I..." Lin Chensan didn't raise his head, but the hands holding his arms had already slid from his elbows to his respective wrists, he relaxed a lot, but he still hesitated.

"Is the mobile phone not in the backpack this time, is it in the pocket of the jacket, or in the pocket of the trousers?" Lin Jianwu looked at Lin Chensan before she began to ask.

"In the pocket of trousers." Lin Chensan replied honestly.She is wearing overalls with an inch shirt today, and the pants have a lot of pockets.

"Can I take it out?"

"can."

"Can you stand up a little bit? It's not easy to hold."

Lin Chensan stood up as she said, and when she stood up, before she had time to lower her head and cover her face with a shadow, she saw Lin Jianwu's face.I don't know why, but it hasn't been long since we met last time, but there is a feeling of nostalgia for no reason.

"San San, I don't know your power-on password yet." Lin Jianwu smiled apologetically.

Lin Chensan didn't take it: "[-]. My birthday."

"Tell me so directly? Are you afraid that I will do something bad with your phone?"

Lin Chensan turned his head: "Adding [-] in front is the payment password for Alipay and WeChat."

"Really?" After Lin Jianwu asked himself, he handed the phone to Lin Chensan, "I forgot to answer the phone without a power-on password."

"Hmm." Lin Chensan responded, without smiling or showing obvious uneasiness as Lin Jianwu imagined, she looked at the two swipeable round buttons on the phone screen, left up is hang, right up Yes.

"Do you want to answer my call?" Lin Jianwu held Lin Chensan's cell phone in her right hand, and her left hand had already put her cell phone close to her left ear. Well, let's say, from the moment she started to follow Lin Chensan's cell phone ringtone to find Lin Chensan Since Chen San, her mobile phone has never been more than one centimeter away from her left ear.

"……Yes."

Lin Chensan reached out to take her cell phone, but once her eyes touched Lin Jianwu's face, she couldn't move her eyes away. That night was fine, even though she knew Lin Jianwu's face all along. She looks very good-looking, but at this moment, she feels that she is a bit too good-looking. Forgive Lin Chensan for her low level of education. She can only say that the Lin Jianwu in her eyes is for Bir Jiasi to be good-looking. It can be said that there is no sense of guilt: within two or ten minutes, she seems to have somewhat forgotten Er Jiasi's appearance.

But according to Lin Chensan's usual memory, although Lin Jianwu is good-looking, she will definitely not be as beautiful as Er Jiasi. After all, Er Jiasi is really bright and beautiful, and anyone who is not as good-looking as Er Jiasi will be crushed by him Cover it.

So it is said that Xi Shi is in the eye of the beholder, is she looking at Lin Jian Wu with this kind of eyes now?

No way?Lin Chensan didn't quite understand.

no no no!This kind of thing is very strange!When did self-awareness become capable of distorting the world in front of us? !

Perhaps Lin Chensan's eyes that looked too seriously were a little hot, even Lin Jianwu was a little embarrassed, she still looked at Lin Chensan, but a thin layer of red was already floating on her cheeks: "Don't look at me like this. , If you want to say something, just say it directly.”

"Well, ah, well, okay." Hearing what Lin Jianwu said, Lin Chensan immediately realized her gaffe, but she didn't want to just withdraw her gaze, so she had to say, "It's not what you think .”

"is it?"

"Ah."

"The phone..."

Lin Chensan frantically got the phone into his hand, then carelessly touched it by mistake, and hung up habitually from left to right.

Lin Chensan swallowed, "Sorry." She was ready to accept Lin Jianwu's anger.

But Lin Jianwu let go of his hand, and turned around Shi Shiran, not angry: "Then, tell me, what's the reason for what happened just now?"

Lin Chensan's mood did not suddenly improve as usual.Perhaps the sad time of the previous 10 minutes was not fully spent.She recalled her own situation just now, and couldn't help thinking wildly: she officially rejected Er Jiasi's liking, she didn't even have to be friends, she remembered the scene when she first met each other, and how she felt when she was fired at the same time , Attention turned to what the other party said about Lin Jianwu, Lin Jianwu is the type of person whose dreams are shattered and has to work hard to pursue, but she is not, Lin Jianwu also said that if you find the meaning of life It is very likely that the location is going to abandon her. She understands the reason, and the response that night was also good, but it is very sad.

Losing the atmosphere of that night, and realizing it later, I felt very uncomfortable... Ah... What should I do... After thinking about it like this, it became even more uncomfortable...

? ! ? ! ? !

When Lin Jianwu turned around to look at Lin Chensan, Lin Chensan was wiping tears. Lin Chensan's inner thoughts were extremely chaotic: Sure enough, he shouldn't have made it so clear to Er Jiasi. It would be better to leave some retreat, and now go to catch up with Erjiasi, tell Erjiasi that what she said before was too absolute, and I don't know if it is feasible...

"What... what's wrong...?" Lin Chensan was really outside of Lin Jianwu's imagination this time, for a while, Lin Jianwu really didn't know except to get toilet paper to wipe Lin Chensan's tears What to say.

Lin Chensan let Lin Jianwu fiddle with her face, but she didn't forget to cry: "No, don't be so nice to me..."

"Huh?" Lin Jianwu felt a big question mark on his forehead.

"Anyway, he's going to abandon me in the end, isn't he?" Lin Chensan turned his head.

"Ah, this..." Isn't this reflex arc too long?Suddenly, Lin Jianwu didn't know how to answer the conversation at all.

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The author has something to say:

In fact, I didn't want to write it like this. It really is a question of listening to songs.When writing this chapter, I was listening to Ah Sang's "Always Quiet". Then, I didn't cry, but Lin Chensan did. Is this the so-called emotional compensation?

It might be interesting to try doing this once in a while.