Youth Notes

The big playground under the autumn moon is so dazzlingly beautiful that it makes people lose their minds.The tall grasses were blowing and the night wind was blowing them and blowing us.Zhong Wen and I were walking on the big playground of the school. After the evening self-study get out of class, she asked me out to enjoy the vast and boundless moonlight on the playground.

In the third year of high school, we talked about the issue of volunteering for the exam.Zhong Wen plans to take the exam for business, she knows that I have always wanted to take the exam for teachers.I told her about the dream I had the day before.I was surprised that I had such a dream.At the dinner table, my father asked me: What do you plan to take in the college entrance examination?I said I was going to be a teacher, I want to be a teacher.Dad immediately objected: Why do you want to be a teacher?No, you can't be a teacher!Why can't you be a teacher?I am stunned.Being a teacher is so hard, the salary is low, and you have to be angry all day, of course you can't be a teacher!Dad said loudly, no doubt.I was shocked, I was shocked, tears fell all over the table.

How could my father object to me? I have been laughing since I woke up. This dream is so ridiculous.I told Zhong Wen that.Why is it impossible for your dad to object.Zhong Wen didn't smile.I know my dad and he will support me.Really?Not necessarily?did you tell himNo, needless to say, absolutely no problem.I said, still laughing, laughing at the absurdity of this dream.

Baba couldn't possibly disagree, I'm sure.Integrity, revolution, taking the world as one's own responsibility, and being a public servant of the people.I have labeled my dad since I was a child, and everyone around us labels him that way.Yes, he is such a person, such a label on his face, too distinct, unmistakable.

Wen Ziqing and I have made an appointment to be teachers together. We have made an appointment. We will go to the same university and teach the same class in the future. I will teach Chinese and she will teach physics. We will be together forever and strive to realize our ideals. Life Unfailing, ideals are immortal.

Wen Ziqing wanted to be a teacher to inherit her father's will. Her father devoted himself to the cause of education, and she wanted to fight for his unfinished business all her life.I want to be a teacher because I am deeply influenced by Wen Ziqing. I also want those children like me and her to grow up healthier and happier.We think our ideals are lofty, we will not change, we must not be changed.

Our ideal is so beautiful, and it has been around for a long time.We have been fantasizing about this ideal since we walked together in the third grade of junior high school.We imagine our future lives, our future classes and students, the things we will say, the things we will do, the various things we will encounter.We share our imaginations with each other and laugh together.We vow to cultivate many talents, especially to soothe many hearts, to give those children enough spiritual food, and to let them grow up healthily and happily.We even debated over whether to teach high school or middle school.We are like-minded friends, just like the "comrades" and "comrades in arms" of the past era.We must move forward hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, and nothing can stop us.

Tomorrow, we will go to pick pansies together.Like the five revolutionary companions in the novel.

Persistence, idealism, thoughtfulness, aggressiveness, and helping others are the labels given to us by our teachers, classmates, and people around us.Our labels are also very distinct, very distinct.

Just like being labeled "honest, simple, pure, well-behaved, kind, upright, and upward" by the elders, I can't be sorry for this label.Of course I will not be sorry, "strict self-discipline" is another label given to me by others.

I live within these labels, and I keep in mind that although in fact I have completely fallen into a bottomless and uninhabited world, and that world seems to be contrary to these labels, it seems to me that they are not, In the eyes of others, it must be the opposite.

Many times I need to judge myself by the eyes of others.

I judge, I often judge, so when Zhong Wen chatted with me once, he said that he didn’t know what kind of world I was immersed in, why I was always preoccupied and thoughtful, and often lived in self-blame, a How can people scold themselves like that.I am also confused why I keep scolding myself so cruelly.It was only after a long time that I realized that I was "doing justice for the heavens" and criticizing myself for others or the world, instead of using my true nature and heart.So I am extremely confident and extremely inferior, extremely happy and extremely painful.I kill myself.I commit spiritual suicide every day, not suicide, but two mes fighting each other, the "id" and "superego" are evenly matched, and the blades are facing each other.The natural me was eventually killed by the social me, and kept being killed. She was resurrected again and again, and was killed again and again.The war never stops.My life is made up of killings, my history is a history of wars, swords and swords, cold moon and stars, gold and iron horses, blood and flesh flying, artillery fire, corpses everywhere, and blood flowing like rivers.This is the quiet, pure, delicate and poetic girl.The history of her mind.

The label of dad has a long history.As a mountain man, my father is poor.His father lost his father since childhood, and his grandmother raised their seven brothers and sisters by mowing grass and raising pigs.Dad's younger brothers were still barebacked when they were five or six years old.Dad walks dozens of kilometers to school every week.Dad earns tuition by hunting grass during the summer vacation.Dad dropped out of school after being cheated of his tuition fees by his classmates. He was only in the first grade of junior high school that year.When my father was 16 years old, he wanted to go to a foreign country to work to support the family, but was dragged away by his grandmother.Dad is a good boy of Chairman Mao. He is aggressive, self-reliant and self-sufficient. He taught himself many courses and wrote good articles and calligraphy.With a family background of mountain people and a junior high school education, my father stepped into the leadership position step by step.He is a good son of the Communist Party. He went to the mountains and the countryside to investigate and understand, to stay in the poorest mountain villages, and to experience the most bitter mines.He writes materials and reports, and he can write for three days without sleep.He is 1.7 meters tall and weighs only about 15 catties. He is black and thin, with an unshaven beard. Every time he goes home, he likes to use his black beard to pierce the child. He has no time to shave his beard.He doesn't live at home, he lives in the unit for a long time, and occasionally goes home to see his wife and children, stays for one night, and leaves the next day when there is no light.He threw the whole family, all the farm work, and four children to his wife, turning his wife into a violent woman who didn't know it.When his wife was unable to take care of the children, he sent them to the home of his "revolutionary comrade" - a village cadre, for one year, two years, one child, two children.He let his two elementary school children live with him in his single dormitory. He was so busy that he stayed out all night, always letting his children sleep with the doors and windows open all night, waiting for him to come back.He wants his [-]-year-old eldest daughter to drop out of school and work, even if she has good academic performance and works hard, even if she was the only primary school student in the whole school who was admitted to a key middle school in the county and won great honors for her alma mater, he doesn't care about her. His eyes were swollen from crying because he could no longer pay the school fees for his four children.He missed the straw-dusted meals his youngest son cooked when he was five.He never thought that his wife would be bullied by the villagers, and she has been swallowing bitterness alone.He never knew that his children were being chased and beaten all day long. He never dreamed that his children lived in loneliness and fear every day.

Dad is synonymous with revolution.Dad, great, selfless, serving the people, dedicated himself to death.Dad, he gave up his ego to grow up, he abandoned his family for the sake of the country, and his relatives for the sake of the people.Such a party member, such a national cadre, how could he prevent me from becoming a glorious people's teacher.

Things that have nothing to do with horses and cattle.