Youth Notes

That kid is over.

She just wants to stick to the oath, she can't break her promise, that's the agreement she made with her friends.She just feels that the children have grown up very hard, and she just wants to be their soulful friend.She just loves to write, and being a teacher gives her the time to write.She wants to do these things, these meaningful things, these things she likes to do.She is not shouting that she wants to revolutionize, serve the people, and sacrifice, although she hopes to be like this.Her father never cared about her shyness and shyness. These words of "revolution" made her feel ashamed and felt that she was far from being that noble.

Dad is a theorist, a practitioner, and a rhetorician, and she is not a child who is afraid to speak up.She is willing to discuss with her father, talk eloquently, use what she knows, what she has learned, and what she thinks, she argues with her father, and has a long discussion with her father.Just as her father believed that she would win, she also believed that she would be able to convince her father.They didn't quarrel, they just talked and communicated, and this lasted for two or three months.One day, that father suddenly lost his patience and became authoritarian and violent. The discussion turned into an argument, turned into a negotiation, and the result was that there was no balance, and finally a war broke out.

The war continued until the second semester of the third year of high school.The result of the endless fighting is that both sides suffer.That child is a child after all, and she is far from her father's fighting power, endurance, and deterrent power. She gradually understands one thing: Dad can only be right, and dad cannot lose.He has this momentum, he has this ability.She felt that it was useless to say anything else, unnecessary, completely useless.She fell silent and said no more.Her blind silence angered her father, what is she called?Non-resistance movement?pride?Disdain?Her father was getting more and more angry.When she couldn't say anything, she just wanted to cry, and she often cried secretly.She doesn't think about anything, she just knows to stick to her ideals, she just can't turn around, she has always been a single-minded child.Sometimes I want to cry when I see my father, and even cry when I think of my father.When she came back from self-study that night, her father mentioned these things again. She didn't know why her eyes immediately got wet. She turned and ran into the yard. She didn't want her father to see her cry, but she couldn't do anything to stop herself from crying. She ran Go out, just run out like that.

There was an earthquake that night, a huge earthquake.

Dad hated her crying and saw no reason for her to cry.She knew Dad was starting to twist her mind, starting to be violent, starting to get angry enough to dislike her.Dad was hurt, it was hurt from a child that he had never had before, he must have been heartbroken, so sad that he made his child his enemy, he satirized her, taunted her, and always stimulated her, this kind of grievance, this kind of This situation continued on and off for many years.She was also heartbroken, not heartbroken, but heartbroken, with glass and blood everywhere.For her ideals, for her father, for the relationship between her and her father.

God fell down.

God is dead.

The relationship between father and daughter is broken.

The world shakes, collapses, and destroys.

The city is barren and the moon is in ruins.

Second child, what do you want to be when you grow up?Dad wants you to be an ideal child.

Second child, come, let dad give you a hug.Hey, uh, bah, uh, it hurts to be pricked by dad's beard, right?Hahaha.

The second child, let the older sisters go with their mother by car, and you sit on the back of father's bicycle, and father will ride you back to grandma's house, okay?Dad knows that you are the most obedient, and wants to show you the mountain road where Dad used to go to school.

The second child got a three-good student again?Still a good student in the district?What a good boy for Dad!Dad loves how positive you are!

As a child, I like to ask about everything. I have to ask about everything I see, and I keep asking until people have nothing to say.Well, the second child in our family is a child who is curious about everything, and is well-behaved and sensible, so no matter where I go, I like to take her with me.

Yeah, this kid is silly, she's the most like me.

……

He was the sunshine of her childhood, as long as he appeared, the world would become bright and warm.

He is the driving force for her to move forward, because of him, she must not lag behind, and she must keep improving.

He is her light, which can warm her heart in any dark night, as long as you think of him, everything is nothing.

He is her role model and the object of her imitation. She wants to be the second him, and she must not discredit him, not at all.

Her sun, her light, her guide, her example, her god, it fell, fell down suddenly.Her Garden of Eden, Utopia is gone, all gone.God is dead.Nietzsche is crazy.She stayed.

This child, who was born in an unknown era, firmly remembered her father's words, remembering every ray of sunshine's heat, she believed, firmly believed, that he was eternal, that truth, goodness and beauty were eternal.She waits for the world that she thought would last forever with her own invariability.She always stays in the initial good feeling.Her thinking is still, this kind of stillness seems to be born with her, and this kind of stillness will accompany her all her life, and her tragedy comes from this kind of still thinking.She was so stupid, so inflexible, so rigid, so stubborn in her belief.She can't help but believe, she likes to believe in everything, she likes, she can't get rid of this natural sense of trust, like she likes a wide and thick wooden bed, she wants that kind of stability, thick, long-lasting, she is afraid of change, she can't Endure change, so she always faces the ever-changing world with an unchanging vision.She believes because she needs to believe.

She was wrong, she was so wrong, she was so wrong.She is too insecure, and yearns for truth, goodness and beauty too much. She sculpts and creates such a world, imagining it with incomparable enthusiasm and boundless imagination. She was intoxicated there, hiding there, dreaming a dream of self-deception.This dreamer is doomed to fail. She dreams countless times and fails countless times. She fails countless times but still dreams.Dreams are her life, and she cannot live without them.This dream child she will never grow up, that child will always be just a child.

This child, she is too naive, too ignorant, she wants the world to run according to her ideal, and is unwilling to walk around it by herself, she refuses to accept the world in front of her.She knew that Dad was right, she knew those realities, she had been watching those realities.It's just that she can't do it, she doesn't like it, she refuses, she even makes it an enemy.

No, this is not a child who is indifferent to the world. People have misunderstood her. She is like an iceberg with magma surging in the depths. Don't allow the world to change her.She asked that father, that leader, and that old revolutionary with her own request to God. She asked that father not to eat the fireworks of the world, and asked him to shed the last drop of blood for the society.She's a ruthless murderer, she's horrible.No wonder that dad was going crazy, no wonder his heart was breaking, no wonder he was suffering for so many years.