Youth Notes

I am not beautiful, although many people around me say I am beautiful.

Especially Zhong Wen who looks like a naughty little boy in the next class.

Others say that Zhong Wen always likes to play with beauties, and only with beauties.I think it's the same thing. In our school, if you want to know which one is beautiful, you just need to pay attention to Zhong Wen's friends.From the first year of junior high school to the third year of high school, I had friends with this naughty, lively, straightforward girl with excellent grades.

But I am an exception.The beauty in my eyes should be like that, like Wen Qijun in our class.

That was when I was in the first grade of junior high school.I was stunned the first time I saw Wen Qijun, and then I often stared blankly at her, just like another girl in our class often stared blankly at the boy she called the stunningly beautiful boy. She is the stunning beauty in my heart.I didn't expect there to be such a beautiful girl in the world, just like when I ate instant noodles for the first time in the fourth grade, I couldn't believe that there was such a delicious food in the world.

If I could recite some ancient poems about beauties at that time, maybe I would give her all those poems.After I could really recite these poems, my feeling changed.She has "delicate texture and well-proportioned flesh and bones", which can be described as icy skin, smooth as fat, peach blossom face, fresh and beautiful, but it is not "smiling beautifully, with beautiful eyes looking forward to", "peerless and independent, with a glance. The charm and demeanor of "the city of people, and the country of people", "fair as a frightened bird, graceful as a dragon".However, her chestnut silky short hair, clear and intelligent eyes, straight and delicate nose, full pink and elegant lips--the most beautiful spring I have ever seen when I was 12 years old.For a long time, I just stared at her, studying how God created such a beautiful girl, and why he was so biased: her grades were always ranked first in the whole class.

I absolutely do not have such beauty, there is no "organ" in my face that can compare with hers.But Zhong Wen and I have become good friends, but we never get together with Wen Qijun.She said that my beauty is unmatched by others. Even if I wear coarse clothes and pants without decoration, I am still beautiful, with a "special taste", a pure and flawless beauty that "comes out of the mud but not stained".Even after more than twenty years, when I appeared in front of her with a sallow complexion covered with spots, she still said: You are still so beautiful, like the fragrant autumn wind.Say, your beauty is in your bones.

I have always been skeptical of Zhong Wen's vision, because the people she calls beauties are very different.At that time, Zhong Wen liked playing with me and Zheng Yan in our class the most.

Zheng Yan is the beauty recognized by the boys in our class, and Zheng Yan herself thinks so.In order to show her beauty better, she fell in love with fashion, trendy hairstyles, and took many "star photos".She loves to laugh, covering her mouth and smiling.She looked around, especially to the boy she had written love letters to.Her voice is sweet and tender, sometimes angry and sometimes angry, charming and charming.So the boy at the same table always opened his mouth and looked at her in a daze, and I waited badly to see his most ecstasy: saliva dripping down.But he let me down in the end, probably all the excessive saliva was swallowed hard into his stomach.

I was once bewildered by Zheng Yan, and I often admired her face, her smile, and her actions during class breaks. I also thought she was a beauty, a beauty who would provoke people.I certainly have no such attraction.

When I was [-] or [-] years old, Zheng Yan and I were the "beauties" who were "loved" by Zhong Wen, and my classmates liked to joke about it.Maybe it's true.Zhong Wen's enthusiasm, boldness, naughtiness and bravery that does not avoid suspicion can easily give people such a feeling.She likes to say warm words of praise, the kind that make people blush and heartbeat.She likes to run around in a rush, often rushing out from somewhere suddenly, hugging your waist or neck, and hugging you tightly, so tight that it will make your heart beat.She is also looking at you with mischievous and sharp eyes that are distinct in black and white, with a bluntness and presumptuousness that you have to avoid.I don't know what other "beauties" think, anyway, I am nervous, excited and scared.

For a long time, Zhong Wen liked to come and sleep with me and Zheng Yan in our dormitory.She comes to my place today, to Zheng Yan's tomorrow, to me for a while, and to Zheng Yan's for a while.She hugged me tightly to sleep, and she talked with her mouth next to my face and ears, telling jokes and compliments, which made me nervous, afraid, and waiting inexplicably.She did the same to Zheng Yan, I know.The girls said she was "lustful" and that Zheng Yan and I were her East Palace and West Palace.She didn't care, she still joked loudly, and continued to run over to tease this and hug that, like a wild boy with so much energy that he has nowhere to vent.

Zheng Yan was very jealous of me, and often got into trouble with Zhong Wen, so Zhong Wen had to get tired of being with her every day.I thought it was boring and ridiculous to be "jealous" like this, so I ran away automatically.

Besides, I was already puzzled by Zhong Wen's behavior.In my memory, I have received a lot of praise, but I have never received such enthusiastic praise.I didn’t get many hugs either, the occasional dad would pick us up when he came home and rub his mustache against our faces, and that was the only bright moment of my childhood.Of course, the exhausted and grumpy mother also gave me a hug. It was a stormy afternoon, when we mother and daughter returned home after planting the last seedlings, in the empty gray field In the field, my mother held me tightly under her armpit and hugged me. We were struggling, but I was really warm and happy. I have been warm and happy for decades... Besides, only Zhong Wen would give me this hug.I often think about these hugs, a little happy, a little awkward, a little irritable, as if I fell into a spider web, and I don’t know where to crawl before I can rush out refreshed.

It was only after a long time that I realized that my doubts about Zhong Wen were purely my own.

In the sky of my life, there have been large and small floating clouds, and they have sprinkled a few drops of water intentionally or unintentionally, which is the rain my desert heart longs for, so I have grown an oasis, but after the clouds pass, the oasis It dries up day by day and becomes a desert again.So repeated, repeating similar stories.

No cloud is willing to stay forever for the desert.

Some people are used to giving praise and hugs to others, and they forget after giving them; some people have never received praise and hugs, and one day she gets them, maybe she will regard them as sunshine to illuminate her life.

Zheng Yan's "narrow-mindedness" made me climb out.I became that very "pure" girl again - clear and clear, like water.

Like the stream flowing down the hill behind our school.

Cool, verdant, clear.That's where we hang out.

I often go with Lina.

We brought a small tape recorder and played "Love in a Small Village" sung by Zhu Xiaolin:

The winding river and the green hills

依偎 着 小 村庄

The fragrance of flowers in the blue sky

Why not teach people to yearn for you?

……

Lina has a wonderful singing voice, and she says I do too.So we often listen to songs, sing, endorse, and chat there.The mountain wind in the evening blows our hair and our school uniforms with white shirts and lake blue skirts. The setting sun shines on our faces and on Linna’s smiling face.In my opinion, Linna is also a beauty, a lovely beauty like a gurgling stream that makes people relaxed and happy.

Boys also like Linna very much, not only because Linna has long black hair and gentle and beautiful eyes, but also because she always has a happy and friendly face, a cheerful and lively smile, and an easy-going and generous heart.

I prefer a beauty like Linna, even though she is far from the "look" and "color" of Wen Qijun and Zheng Yan.