The taste of love is bitter

I got up and walked to the corridor, Ruan Yuchen was no longer there, I went to his class to find him, and saw him with his legs on the table, leaning on the chair, with a book covering his face, I don’t know he was sleeping What are you still doing? I asked my classmates to call him, but no one dared to go. They all told me that he has a very bad temper recently and is not easy to mess with, so I have to go by myself.I had no choice but to bite the bullet and walked into their class. Although it was also my class before, but in the first half of the year, the class was adjusted and the class was re-divided. Now few students in the class know each other.

I walked to Ruan Yuchen's side and gently pushed him.

"Go away, don't bother me!" He growled in a low voice without changing his posture.

I bit my lip, when the classroom became quiet, I looked around and didn't know how to speak, so I pushed him again.

"I told you to go away, can't you hear me? I'm looking for a beating..." He stood up abruptly, threw the book on his face on the table, and yelled loudly, but when he saw me, the words behind him sounded It didn't come out.

I was so frightened that I closed my eyes and shrank my neck, and then I heard that he didn't make the final sound, so I couldn't help but open my eyes and look at Ruan Yuchen. He also looked at me, his whole face was full of complicated expressions, but I could see that there was more is hate.I suddenly didn’t dare to look him in the eyes, I knew he hated me, so I lowered my head, I didn’t know what to say for a moment, the classroom was extremely quiet, maybe everyone was waiting for Ruan Yuchen to get angry and beat me up , so they all looked at us intently.

"Why are you here?" He sighed slightly, then sat back in his chair and asked me.

"I...I want to talk to you." I whispered back.

"Oh? What do you want to talk about?" He raised his eyebrows, raised the corners of his mouth, and looked at me with contempt.

"I... as a friend, I want to say a few words to you." I don't want to see him like this.

"Are we... still friends?" He lowered his head and said softly.

"As long as you want, I will always be..."

"Shut up! I don't want to be friends with you! I, Ruan Yuchen, won't be friends with you, Wu Qiong, no!" He interrupted me suddenly and said harshly.

I froze on the spot, are we really not even friends?Why?Just because I rejected him?That's right, if I didn't look like Zu Xiaoyu, the senior wouldn't try his best to get close to me, and he, Ruan Yuchen, wouldn't want to know me, and if I wasn't close to the senior, he wouldn't bother me so much, If I hadn't taken care of him when his foot hurt, he wouldn't have misunderstood our relationship.Everything is a misunderstanding, how could I, Wu Qiong He De, be his friend with Ruan Yuchen? Why did I forget that I was destined to have no friends?I think too highly of myself, but the feeling of suddenly falling from the sky to the ground is really bad.When, being rejected by Ruan Yuchen as a friend will hurt more than knowing that the senior just treats me as someone else's shadow.

Seeing that I was silent, he said softly, "Let's go!" Then he returned to the original posture and covered his face with the book again.

I feel suffocation again, I don’t know if my heart hurts because of lack of oxygen, or because of a heart attack. In short, it hurts, with bursts of cramping pain, so painful that I kind of want to dig it out impulse.I covered my heart with my right hand, trying not to let myself show it. The nails of my left hand pinched my palm fiercely, hoping to relieve the pain in my heart with the pain in my palm, but it didn't work at all.

"I'm sorry! I'm being sentimental. I'm sorry to interrupt you!" After I finished speaking, I hurriedly turned around and left the classroom under the strange eyes of others. I was afraid that I would not be able to hold on and fainted there. I didn't want to be sympathized .

After walking a few steps in the corridor, I couldn't stand it anymore. I squatted down, took out a few pills and took a few random pills. I didn't know how much I took, but I still couldn't relieve it. Knees, buried his face in his lap, tears finally couldn't stop streaming down.I advised myself not to care, our acquaintance was wrong in the first place, it’s fine if we can’t be friends, it’s nothing, I’m used to being alone, this time is not too bad.However, the tears still flowed continuously, and I asked myself what was being hypocritical, why the tears were so worthless, I tried my best to take them back, but found it was futile, and later, I comforted myself, it was my heart hurting Yes, it hurt so much that I burst into tears, right, this time it really hurt!

After a while, the class bell rang. I stood up against the wall and swayed back to the classroom. I was absent-minded all day. I ate lunch like chewing wax. At noon, my mind went blank, I didn't think about anything, I just felt very tired, really tired, and I had the urge to lie down and take a deep sleep, it's best not to wake up.

In the blink of an eye, it’s May again. There are always news about Ruan Yuchen, and he is constantly challenging new records. The teachers shook their heads and regretted that when they mentioned it, multiple warnings were ineffective, and he couldn’t be expelled because of this. He was a good student. It's just so depraved and decadent day by day.I am even more powerless, after all, I am not even his friend now, for me who is like a stranger, what qualifications do I have to criticize others?So, I turned a deaf ear to his news and devoted myself to studying all day long, trying to numb my nerves by studying.

Suddenly one day, the senior called me. This was the first time we had contact after we separated. After the phone call, I realized that today is my birthday.He said that he would not come back to celebrate my birthday, so he called to say hello. Last year, he didn’t make up for my birthday present. This year, he gave me a larger one. It has been mailed back to me, and it will be received in a few days. .I laughed and said that he was too polite, I had forgotten about my birthday, and then we exchanged pleasantries for a while, and then we found that there was nothing to talk about, so we hung up the phone.

When I mentioned my birthday, I remembered the scene where Ruan Yuchen set off fireworks for me last year, and I couldn't help but feel bitter. When did it become like this?Where is the person who vowed last year that I, Wu Qiong, would be Ruan Yuchen's man?Why did it become like this?Could it be that with the passage of time, will the previous feelings disappear?

In the evening, I didn’t go to the evening self-study, but went to the valley field by accident. I don’t know why, but I came here for no reason. , lying alone.At this time, the sky had just turned dark, and the scene in front of me could still be seen clearly, so I recognized at a glance that the person was Ruan Yuchen.In front of the grain pile, there are a lot of soda cans scattered, and there is also a fireworks box that has been set off. What a familiar scene. At this time last year, such a scene seemed to have appeared, but things are different, and we meet again , but like a stranger!

I didn't go over, just looked at him quietly, just like last time, one of us was lying down, the other was standing, neither of us moved.After a long time, I sighed and was about to turn around and leave when suddenly the phone in my pocket rang. Quicken your pace and leave.

As soon as I took out my mobile phone, I saw that it was Xu Jingjing. Before I could connect, I heard Ruan Yuchen calling me loudly from behind, "Wu Qiong!"

I paused, startled, turned to look at him hastily, and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here, I'm leaving right away, sorry to bother you!" After I finished speaking, I was about to leave in a hurry.

But I was pulled back by him vigorously, and I bumped directly into his arms. He hugged me, and then kissed me directly. Looking at the corner, the feeling of heartache swept over again.I said to myself, don't be confused anymore, you are no longer friends, go away, forget about it, but my body involuntarily approached him, responding to his kiss.The phone was still ringing, and my nails almost tore through my palm, but I still couldn't stop my urge to hug him.

Finally, when we were both a little hypoxic, he let go of my lips, but his hands were still holding me. I opened my eyes and looked at him. His kissing skills were much more skilled, like a veteran in love, Suddenly thinking of the scene where he was kissing that girl, and thinking of those gossips about him, I laughed at myself.

"Ruan Yuchen, this doesn't seem to be what we should do, does it? Do you think I'm some kind of girlfriend?" I looked at him and asked with a smile, even though there were still tears in the corners of my eyes.

"Wu Qiong, forgive me, I..."

"Don't apologize, I have nothing to forgive you, we are not even friends, are we?" I interrupted him and continued to ask with a smile.

"I..." He frowned and looked at me, but didn't say what he wanted to say.

I suddenly felt a little hypocritical, what am I doing?Are you mad at him for not being by my side, taking care of me, taking care of me, making me happy, and making petty temper with me?Don't be naive, the most indispensable thing for him now is people, including men and women, why do you care about me?And why should I ask for so much?What's more, today's him is also caused by my refusal yesterday, since he can't agree to other people's feelings, why bother to occupy his people, why not just let him go and be safe with each other, why not do it?

"I just came to see. I didn't know you were here. I still have something to do. I'm leaving first." I said, breaking free of his hand and was about to leave.

"Wu Qiong, wait, I have something for you." He ran back to the grain pile, took back a box, and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked, looking at the box.

"Happy birthday!" he said.

"Why are you celebrating my birthday? We're not friends anymore, are we?" I asked.

He froze for a moment, and frowned slightly, "You know I didn't mean that, I don't want to be your friend, you know what I want to do with you!" He almost yelled.

I suddenly realized that this is what he meant when he said that he didn't want to be friends!Thinking about what he had done recently, I was even more annoyed, so I replied.

"I don't know what you want to do with me!"

"I like you, as I said a long time ago, I want to be with you, I don't want to be just friends with you, I want you to be my... lover!" He may think that the term boyfriend and girlfriend is inappropriate.

"Love?" I was even more annoyed when I heard this, "Do you know the meaning of love? Do you know what a lover is? You kiss others in front of me, and go to bed with others from time to time. How dare you keep saying you love me?" ?Your love is shared by too many people, I can't bear it!"

"It's not that you said you don't want to be with me. What's wrong with me? Why do you look at me like that? Is it wrong for me to pursue my love? Is it wrong for me to love you? If you don't accept me, can't I give it to you by myself? Do you want to have fun by yourself? Since the person I love doesn't love me, why should I disappoint the person who loves me? Am I wrong? I became what I am today, who caused it? It's all because of you, it's you!" He yelled at me, then crouched on the ground with his head in his arms.

I was speechless for a while, looking at his appearance, I couldn't help feeling distressed, yes, it was all my fault, I just wanted not to let him go astray, but I didn't expect that I would push him to the point of no return with my own hands.