repeat your name

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Dissect, then know yourself, and find your true inner thoughts-this is actually a cruel and painful process.

However, Xu Xing completed everything silently in a short period of time, without even letting others notice that there was anything wrong with him.

For 15-year-old Xu Xing, it was one of the most painful but unforgettable experiences in his life...

In the end, he said to himself that he could not be sorry to the He family, let alone He Xiao, dragging him into such a quagmire and sinking with himself.

So he said to himself, nothing happened, and he could still keep going on the original track.

Until one day they, maybe they parted ways, until one day he might never see each other's back again.

He has nothing to say about this matter, he can only keep it in his heart and slowly rot, or secretly tell them every year when he goes to worship at his parents' grave.

He told his mother when he was 15, and later asked his father.

But no one could really give him an answer.

As if there was a small deviation from the established route, he hesitated for a while at the fork in the road. Although some emotions were growing crazily in his heart, his reason told him not to do so.

So he finally walked back to the established route, moving forward step by step in silence.

Originally, in the road of life, the youth section has already been set up, but unexpectedly, there is a sudden and sharp turn.

That was after their freshman year of high school.

Because almost the best students in the city gathered together, it was not uncommon for him to meet his childhood playmate Guo Rui in school.

They separated when they were less than six years old, and they were not together throughout their elementary school and junior high school years. In this case, it took a lot of effort for the few of them to get acquainted with each other again.

Guo Rui is really not a very special name, maybe Xu Xing and He Xiao are not counted either.

But when Guo Rui saw that the owners with these two names were always walking very close, he knew that this was his childhood playmate.

It was a little unfamiliar at the beginning, but the few people quickly became familiar again.

Although Guo Rui and He Xiao were still at odds with each other, Xu Xing felt a little more relaxed because of his joining.

As he grew older, whether it was his understanding of his heart or his physical reaction, he became more and more sure of his feelings for He Xiao.

So when two people get along, he always has to try his best to control himself.

And when Guo Rui joined the three-person team, it made him feel more relaxed.

But... Maybe He Xiao always only thought that the two of them were each other's best friends, so he was always a little dissatisfied with Guo Rui.

This situation continued, the three of them fought and fought, quarreled and laughed, until the last parent meeting after the transfer exam in April, Guo Rui's mother came to the school and happened to see Guo Rui, Xu Xing and He Xiao together.

She was hysterical again.

She didn't expect that after all these years, she brought her son out just to isolate them, and he would actually play with that person's son again!

However, she has been busy with work in the past few years, and her son has always been well-behaved and obedient, with excellent grades, so she has never attended the parent-teacher meeting—her son actually got together with that person's son again!

It can't be!

This is absolutely not possible!

Time has not treated this mother favorably.

Although the Guo family's conditions are good, and Guo's mother's own family is considered rich, but maybe she has worked too much for life, and after all, she is infected with fatigue and vicissitudes.

Good tutoring kept Guo's mother from getting angry on the spot, and she just took Guo Rui home viciously.

Although I don't know what happened, but at that moment, Guo Mu who showed a ferocious expression made Xu Xing very worried. Even He Xiao, who had always "dismissed" and "very hated" Guo Rui, stared at Xu Xingbo past phone calls.

However, no one answered the phone.

No one replied to the message sent in the past.

This incident reminded Xu Xing of the saddest things in his childhood.

Parents and friends left one after another.

He began to have nightmares uncontrollably, often trembling and distracted.

He vaguely felt that Guo Rui's two departures seemed to be related to him... Although he didn't know the specific reasons, a secret sense of unease enveloped him all the time.

He Xiao soon found out that something was wrong with Xu Xing, and tried to get closer to comfort him.

Xu Xing couldn't refuse his warm embrace, but he couldn't resist it in his heart, struggling repeatedly between the dilemmas, breathing hard.

He couldn't say what happened, but it was as if a huge glass envelope surrounded him and he couldn't escape.

He dreamed of his father's young face, dreamed of his father saying sorry.

I dreamed of the haggard and sad look of my mother when she left, and dreamed that my mother said to forgive him.

He even dreamed that he finally couldn't help himself and did something nasty to He Xiao. He Xiao looked at him with disgust and told him to go away.

He dreamed of the angry faces of He's father and mother.

However, the weather in May is getting hotter, but the real world has not changed at all.

There was only He Xiao's increasingly obvious concern for him, as well as his warm and open embrace.

How shameless you are.

Xu Xing thought, on the one hand he wanted to repay the He family, but on the other hand he couldn't help but want to hold He Xiao tightly and not let go...

However, Xu Xing is a strong person after all.

With the help of He Xiao, he spent a whole month gradually adjusting himself, but when the two of them were making final preparations for the college entrance examination, Guo Rui, who hadn't come to school for more than a month, suddenly appeared.

He was like a wounded beast, with red eyes, rushing to Xu Xing's class during evening self-study.

The situation at that time was very chaotic, Xu Xing couldn't even remember exactly how it happened.

But he remembered that Guo Rui rushed in, grabbed his collar and yelled.

Those ugly, even embarrassing words penetrated into Xu Xing's ears. He seemed to understand every word, but he didn't seem to understand what Guo Rui was shouting at all.

"Little Three", "Like", "Shameless", "Gay", "Seduce", "Daddy"

The roaring roar only made Xu Xing feel pain in his eardrums, and the stunned students around him had already started whispering...

They had already heard that Xu Xing's father, Guo Rui's father, and of course He Xiao's father were comrades in arms.

I heard that Xu Xing's father and Guo Rui's father died in the same mission.

But what they didn't know was that there was such explosive news behind it.

Xu Xing only felt pain in his head, but all the students present heard it clearly.

The world seemed to be crumbling, and suddenly became simple and transparent - the huge shadow that had always enveloped him was finally broken.

Guo Rui was still hysterical until He Xiao punched him to the ground.

It turned out that Guo Rui's father actually liked Xu Xing's father. Although there seemed to be some ambiguous signs between the two of them back then, there was no result in the end, and they each embarked on their own life trajectories.

It's just that unexpectedly, after both had families, the two were transferred to the same army again.

Both of them kept this matter tacitly hidden.

After all, it was just a little hazy love when they were young, and now they each have a family, so naturally no one wants to go back to the past.

However, Father Guo still has the habit of keeping a diary.

After both of them died, Guo's mother found his diary while looking through the relics of Guo's father. In it, not only read his emotional thoughts when he was young, but also read what he wrote when he met again-"The mood is a bit complicated. , I didn’t expect to see him and I look like this now... If God gives me another chance, maybe it will be different, but now I belong to this family, my wife and children.”

If nothing happened, maybe it was just a man's words lamenting his youth.

But this man who "belongs to his family" broke his promise—he didn't leave himself to his family, but he left his life on the battlefield, and even more so in this operation to save his teammates.

And this teammate...is that man.

Guo's mother probably knew that it was no one's fault, not even Guo's father, nor He's father.

He had no way to hurt the child Xu Xing - he was only five years old that year, and later lost his mother.

But she needed an outlet so much, she didn't want to face all this again, so she took Guo Rui away completely, and buried the past that made her sad deeply.

Even, she felt a little paranoid fear.

Guo Rui liked to play with Xu Xing so much since he was a child... Could this child be like his father, maybe fall in love with a man? !

However, she is also a good mother. Although she broke down several times, she never confides a word to her son.

In the end, full of resentment and sorrow, she chose the same confidant as her husband, and she wrote all of this, her deepest pain, and the most vicious suspicion in her diary.

And that diary finally fell into Guo Rui's hands.