nib boy

I really want to know one thing.

What, you said you didn't see it?

...that's just me pretending to be cool.

The classroom immersed in the atmosphere of final review was quiet, and even after class, few people were willing to pull their heads out of the pile of papers [huh-huh].

Three minutes before the bell rang for the next class, Fir Shan pulled off the earphone cable, got up and walked out of the classroom door, walked straight around a corner, pushed open the door of the men's room with his foot, and stepped in.

Originally, I just wanted to go to the toilet, but because I hated crowds, I deliberately picked a time when classes were about to start to avoid peak hours.However, the guy who was standing leisurely in front of the bucket with his back turned to him gave him the urge to turn around and leave almost immediately.Unfortunately, it was too late.

He must have heard the movement behind him, wouldn't it be cowardly to just leave like this.

So Fir Shan continued to stand beside the man with an iceberg face, and after a slight zipper friction, he began to do the same thing as him.

Xie Zhe first glanced at his expressionless face forbearance, then turned his head back without saying a word, and couldn't help lowering his eyes to peek at his dick three seconds later.

Ah, very good.It's about the same age as me.The villain in him nodded solemnly and satisfied.

"...Hey. I heard that you have a girlfriend?" So once people's psychology gets some inexplicable relief, they will become unscrupulous.Xie Zhe spoke with his usual unbeaten smile on his lips, in a provocative tone.

Leng Shan didn't even look at him, and was about to leave after washing his hands.

"Although I don't know what you're thinking, I probably guessed it. But you really underestimated him." Xie Zhe zipped up the zipper slowly while he stopped.

"Since he lost his memory, I have gradually discovered...Although the person next to me has retained more than half of his former self, there is no doubt that there is a difference compared with the previous him....In other words, no matter how dull you are, you should be aware of it. " He came to the sink and slowly rinsed his hands in the icy cold water, "Although I'm not reconciled. I won't give it up again. But this time he's attached to you and your superiors. Compared with this time, it is even worse than it is.”

"What exactly are you trying to say?" The young man frowned and turned his head, ignoring the ringing of the bell that resounded throughout the corridor, and cooled his voice.

"I just want to ask you a question. I've wanted to ask it for a long time, but I haven't been able to open it." After turning on the faucet, Xie Zhe turned his face to look at him, his expression became serious at some point, and a certain kind of expression overflowed from the bottom of his dark eyes. Unspeakable emotions. "...with Jin Ke, if you can endure this moment, can you still go against your own heart for the rest of your life?"

Surprise and shock are just a moment.

Fir Shan stared at him silently for a few seconds, then said in a flat voice: "...I don't need sympathy."

"It's not sympathy." Xie Zhe raised his eyebrows and raised his chin slightly as he said - that's right, Leng Shan remembered that he was like this when he was in middle school in Haicheng, as long as he talked to his peers except Bai Yuze, he always behaved like this .On the surface, he is indifferent and polite, and has a good family education, but he never bothers to look at people directly. Under the curled eyelashes, there is even more arrogance and cynicism that cannot be concealed.

That was the innate restlessness in his body.No matter how much you hide it, you can't restrain your sharpness.

At this time, the guy in front of him who was casting a sharp gaze from his eyes first cleared his throat seriously, and then opened his lips very calmly: "In this world, no one hates you more than me, and no one hates you more than you!" I hate it. I never feel sorry for someone I don't like, so you can rest assured about that."

...that's quite straightforward.

But Leng Shan didn't feel displeased with his words, and even slightly curled her lips.It's been a long time since I was positively provoked by others. Although it's not pleasant, it can barely bring back some similar memories.

Xie Zhe didn't care what he was thinking, he only regarded his faint smile as a silent mockery to himself, but he didn't get mad, and continued with the previous topic with his head slightly raised.

"Of course, I never expect to be treated as a brother by someone I'm tired of. You don't like me, I know. Since I never do anything wrong, I'll let you talk about it here today. In the past In those years, the two of us didn’t care whether it was hypocrisy or anything else. In terms of love, there was nothing lacking in it. Now, seeing you with such infinite potential and desperately sending yourself to that bastard’s mouth, I call myself heartless. I can't be happy at all. Maybe you don't believe it. When I walked out of your house that day, as long as I imagined you being fucked by him in my mind, I would be so fucking angry. I disgust you two, and I disgust myself. Disgusting what you do That dirty deal, it's disgusting, why can't I just helplessly see that man can't be crushed to ashes.

"Bai Yuze, I will never give it to you no matter what. Now you can't give him anything but pain. Similarly, you should stop making unnecessary sacrifices. No one is grateful to you, so you can play a bitter drama for yourself. It makes no sense at all. No matter what you want to carry on your body alone, you probably don’t know that the most hateful part of yourself is here? I didn’t know it before. If I know it, I will never allow this kind of thing. The thing that made me sick to my stomach after watching it happened again.

"So, in a nutshell. Sooner or later, I will trample you under my feet. As for you, if you really can't help it one day, you need to kill yourself with a gun or you need a few bundles of Grandpa Mao to accompany you after killing someone." Desperate to the end of the world, labor and capital, I am not so inhumane. As long as you are willing to put down your face and come to me, I will never open my mouth to say no...."

After the words were finished, silence returned to the toilet.The cold wind was howling outside the window, and the person opposite had his hands in his pockets, with a flat expression as if Xie Zhe had just told him an extremely cold joke.Not surprised at all, not surprised.

When Xie Zhe thought about it afterwards, he felt that he had really done his best to him.He didn't expect that smelly, hard and cold stone to be grateful to him. He said that if Firth was really moved with tears in his eyes, he would turn his head and run away in shock, no matter what kind of nonsense it is.

In the end, after the two of them confronted each other for a few minutes, Xie Zhe felt that he must have hallucinated in front of his eyes—he actually saw the corners of the guy's lips slowly curling up, his smile was faint but more arrogant than himself just now.

"...There won't be such a day. I don't ask you." Leng Shan completely ignored Xie Zhe's hideous expression with eyes wide open and teeth gnashing, and simply turned around and walked towards the door.

And at the moment when he turned his back to him, if the third perspective of God really existed in the world, then you would probably notice that the expressions of both of them have changed very slightly at this time.You can't tell what kind of meaning is contained in it, maybe only people who are very sensitive to other people's emotional ups and downs can see it clearly.

It was indeed nothing else, but a slight emotion.

Sure enough... I still hate that guy the most.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

The final exam is definitely a ruthless torture to the students.However, destruction is also destruction, and the result is completely different for different people.

The sighs and sighs in the past seemed to only stay in the past tense. Maybe it was because he had some confidence in his heart. When he walked out of the examination room, Bai Yuze and Xie Zhe, who had just come out of the adjacent examination room, looked at each other. The latter was cautious and tentative, while the former was calm and shallow Smile lightly. "...Is there something going on later?"

Xie Zhe didn't understand what he was going to do at first, but he didn't realize until he pushed open the door of the rehearsal classroom on the top floor of the north building that had been deserted for some time.

Yao Lu was standing in the middle of the room, fiddled with the pile of broken copper and iron on the ground with his feet in disgust, while Ning Ziyue was leaning against the window, smoking a cigarette silently.Seeing the two of them push the door open, they both smiled quietly.

The agreement that night was just a drunken joke, but no one forgot it.The idiot's dream, which was so small that it was even a bit unconstrained, actually combined their true yearning hidden in their hearts.

Later that evening, the first round of running-in really made all four of them excited.

If Bai Yuze hadn't heard Xie Zhe's bass before, I'm afraid he wouldn't have believed that such a carefree person could produce such amazing explosive power.Stimulating enough and refreshing enough, it seems like a veteran of rock and roll.As for Yao Lu, his definition in Bai Yuze's heart has always been an elegant piano heartthrob. Unexpectedly, this person would go crazy as if he had changed his personality as soon as he touched the keyboard. The result directly stimulated the blood of the other three people. boil up.And when it comes to Ning Ziyue's drums, none of them really thought that they would be so passionate, that if they didn't perish in silence, they would explode in silence.It is no exaggeration to say that the irresistible force almost knocked out their three souls and seven souls. It only makes people want to stop, can't stop, and can't stop to be crazy.

Due to his own conditions, Xie Zhe was too lost to sing with his throat open, and Ning Ziyue opened his mouth without any tunes like a monk chanting scriptures, so Bai Yuze volunteered to choose the lead singer.He knew that it might be more suitable for Yao Lu to take this position, but he was afraid that it would bring back some bad memories for him.After all, after living together for so long, he can still see some bits and pieces of details.

In this way, after the audition, the four of them formally combined a piece of music, Xin's "Broad Sea and Sky".Bai Yuze's youthful voice is actually more suitable for quieter songs, but it is not suitable for too strong impact.After trying his best to sing the last line of the lyrics to the melody of the guitar in his hand, he only felt that he could hear the beating of his pulse.Waiting for the last note to fall, Bai Yuze turned his head with great difficulty, only to see that Xie Zhe had an overly bright smile all over his face, and Yao Lu's eyes were full of bright and excited light.In a blink of an eye, he looked at Ning Ziyue who had just raised his hand and lightly squeezed the trembling cymbals, raised his head from the pile of drums and smiled slightly, Bai Yuze finally let out a long breath.

"Is it okay?" He leaned against the wall with his guitar in his arms and took a breath before slowly smiling.

"How can you say it's okay?" The other three teammates were obviously dissatisfied with his moderate and conservative evaluation, but they couldn't help but put each other's shoulders on each other's shoulders and grinned heartily. "...That's pretty good."

It was already very late that day, and the four of them had no intention of going back to bed to rest.

Yao Lu's obsessive obsessive cleanliness lit the lights and continued to clean up the house. He angrily rejected Ning Ziyue's application for help and kicked all three of them out.Several people looked at each other outside the door for a long time, and finally Ning Ziyue spoke first: "You guys wait here, I'll go out to buy dinner and come back." After speaking, he went downstairs and left.

"I always feel that if anyone follows Lao Ning in the future, he won't have to worry about it for the rest of his life." Xie Zhe sighed with a bitter face.Bai Yuze rolled his eyes at him when he heard the words, "Then why don't you hurry up. Isn't it your specialty to make feelings?"

The old man wiped his face with tears, Xie Zhe obviously lacked confidence and weakly argued: "No, it's not..."

"It's alright, alright, I know you still have a glimmer of hope for a counterattack. As a friend, I can only light a candle for you silently... The mistake is dripping wax." Bai Yuze didn't even bother to listen to his nonsense and waved his hands, standing in the black Looking left and right in the middle of the faint corridor. "Hey, is the roof door of our building locked?"

"According to common sense, it should be locked..." Yao Lu was still banging in the room, and the two of them saw that they couldn't get in for a while anyway, so they just walked to the bottom of the ladder at the end and looked up.

"Why, I was so excited just now and wanted to go up and blow the cold wind?"

"Actually, it's not too..." Bai Yuze was still hesitating, Xie Zhe had already climbed up two or three times, and pushed hard against the big iron door that kept falling dust with one hand. "Lucky - the door is locked."

"It's all locked up and Lucky's a fart! You owe it to me!"

"Don't worry, don't worry. I didn't tell you? I can open the combination lock of my safe at the age of eight." keyhole.

Bai Yuze's face was full of black lines, and he couldn't restrain the spirit of complaining in his body: "Can opening a combination lock be the same thing as opening this thing?! You say this is purely showing off? You are showing off to me, right? "

"People are tough, my lady. You see, this is the only thing I can do to show off." Xie Zhe followed the sound and continued to poke the drum persistently. After a while, there was only a slight "click", The one who returned his sister was really pried open.

One minute later, the two of them stood on the roof of a desolate building, looking down at the lights of thousands of houses, as if they were kings in the world.The only downside is that it's a bit cold.

Bai Yuze didn't accept the cigarette that Xie Zhe handed over, he didn't like the smell at all, he just barely knew how to smoke.An Jing held the barbed wire in silence for a while, and suddenly he said in a low voice, "...Actually, I have something to say to you."

Xie Zhe beside him turned his face slightly surprised, holding a cigarette between his hands, "Why are you making it so formal? If it's a confession, let me make a mental preparation first."

"You think too much." Ruthlessly shattering his hopes, Bai Yuze slightly changed his standing angle sideways, and his tightly pursed lips opened and closed after a short silence. "...Hey. How do you think I am now compared to before?"

Choking on a puff of smoke, Xie Zhe stared blankly at him and forgot to puff out the clouds. It took a long time until he coughed, and opened his mouth with difficulty: "Ahem...you...why do you ask that?"

"Because I have been fighting alone with my former self. Didn't expect that?" He was finally willing to take back his eyes that had been lingering in the night sky for a long time, and looked at him with a relaxed tone, but there was no smile on his face. "I always think that if it were him, I would be happier than me now. ... It's silly to say that, it's all me. But, it's different. ... It's still different."

Xie Zhe just felt more at a loss.He racked his brains trying to empathize with Bai Yuze, but failed.Since the reunion, Bai Yuze believed the lies he carefully fabricated for him, but he almost never mentioned his former self in front of him, and always just listened to him quietly.He always thought that what he was confused about was how to define a brand new and reborn self, but he never thought that what he cared more about was the contrast between the front and back that could not be ignored.

Although Xie Zhe didn't understand, it didn't mean he didn't realize the seriousness of the matter.Perhaps the former Bai Yuze was indeed better in many aspects, but he was wrong about one thing.

"...Are you really that sure that your former self will be happier than you now?"

Bai Yuze slightly hooked his lips. "As a bystander, you understand better than me, I admit. You even know myself better than I do, and I admit it. Even so, do you still have any objections?"

"Of course." Xie Zhe continued calmly, holding the cigarette to his lips again. "Would you believe me if I said that you were once in a situation that was a hundred times more painful than it is now?"

"Is it because of someone?" Bai Yuze blurted out almost without thinking, which made both of them stunned at the same time.

"Someone?" Xie Zhe hurriedly pretended to be dazed and asked back with anxiety. "who?……"

Bai Yuze stopped talking.Xie Zhe slowly became guilty in his silence, and only moved when the cigarette butt was almost burnt out, raised his hand and threw it out from behind the barbed wire.Faint Mars streaks across the darkness in a warm orange arc, fleeting.

Then, he decided to back down.He knew that although he no longer remembered, there had been some deep-rooted things in his life, and the imprints left by them would not disappear so easily.

"...You forget that person, this is already the best ending."

"You're not me, how do you know that this is the best for me?" This time Bai Yuze's voice was firmer than before. "If he was the most important person in my world, and I didn't lose all my memory about him voluntarily, then no one has the right to deliberately hide it from me. Even the pain is self-inflicted , It’s my mother who deserves to be unlucky...”

After a while, Xie Zhe let out a low sigh, gradually not feeling the cold in the night wind.

"You want to get back the missing part of yourself. Well, I won't stop you. But have you thought about it?" He gritted his teeth, and finally made up his mind to show off: "You remember him, so now you like him What about the person in question?... Fir Shan, where do you plan to put him?"

Bai Yuze was confused in an instant, staring at him in horror and unable to utter a word.Shocked, flustered, hesitant, uneasy... All kinds of feelings were mixed together, Xie Zhe watched the rapid changes in his expression, and he was calm.

"Please, I'm not an idiot. I've known you for so many years, and it's too shameful not to even see the signs of you being recruited." Relighting a cigarette, he took a deep breath between his fingers, and he avoided him. His eyes were silent, blowing smoke rings.

"Let's put the previous topic aside. About what you said last time that he already has a lover, it was a misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding?" Bai Yuze came to his senses and frowned slightly. "Impossible. He told me himself."

"He was forced. Don't ask me how I know." Xie Zhe shrugged, showing an air of secret. "That guy definitely likes someone else. Think back carefully, isn't the atmosphere a bit strange when he told you that he has a lover?"

...It's not just strange, it's almost depressing, okay?

"Really..." Bai Yuze felt a little relieved in his heart.However, there is only one point.

"I like...there is someone else. It turns out that the real opponent is still in the dark." With a shy smile, he pressed his forehead against the cold iron net. "When will the person I like fall in love with Lao Tzu? It is estimated that Bai Yuze from before may be able to do it..."

"That's enough. Don't compare yourself to yourself." Xie Zhe suddenly became irritable, and his eyebrows frowned even deeper. "...doesn't make any sense at all."

Bai Yuze smiled gently. "Don't you know that there is a saying that 'man's worst enemy is himself'."

"It's just that the people who said this, S and M, have split personalities. The treatment of the second disease should be done as soon as possible."

"You are only in the second grade, and your whole family is in the second grade."

As a result, the topic went in a strange direction again.Bai Yuze rubbed his hair, which was already messed up by the wind, in frustration, then turned around and leaned his back against the fence.

"I don't want to mind, but it's not so easy to do as the person involved. Sometimes I will stop suddenly when I am doing something alone, and I don't know who I am now. Standing in front of you at this moment This Bai Yuze, who can listen to "The Rose" all night long, is Bai Yuze who can make a big fuss and write it down in his diary in other people's eyes, even fell in love with a The cowardly coward that no one dares to say—really, it takes a lot of courage to admit that you are weak sometimes. It may be that one has to get over a loathing for oneself, and mine goes deeper, downright hate.”

He raised his hand and drew a circle around his heart, "When this place is filled with hatred, I can't control my emotions. It's okay to be irritable, but excessive negativity can lead to depression. If one day I am really I'm driving myself crazy..."

"It's crazy," Xie Zhe took his words abruptly, then raised his eyebrows and smiled slowly at him.

"...Even if you are really crazy, you are not you at all, you are unrecognizable, you are unrecognizable, you are talking nonsense, but no matter what you become, you are still the same coward in my eyes. Before, now, In the future... always.

"Without a coward like you by my side, I...wouldn't be able to go on alone. Idiot."

The author has something to say: