nib boy

In just a few days, Yao Lu sat outside the mortuary door of the hospital for the second time.However, the scene in front of him was so vague and unreal. Until now, he still couldn't believe that in just one night, the boy who would show his naughty canine teeth when he smiled suddenly left like this.

Quietly.

"...I should have found out." Ning Ziyue stared blankly at the void in front of him, unable to tell whether the smiling face that was constantly playing in the memory belonged to Lin Ran or his sister.Their alternate figures gradually overlapped, two faces so similar.

"He said earlier that he was unwell, but I didn't even ask him..." His voice became lower and lower until he could no longer hear it.The two siblings never owed him anything during their lifetime, but he single-handedly dragged them into Abi Hell alive.

Whether it is the people he loves, they are all destined to die unhappily because of him.But, but obviously——

"...Damn it's obviously me." He lowered his lips, as if he heard the mocking laughter of fate in his ears.

Always.

always.

Endless. ...

The two people around were silent.If it comes to self-blame, they are not sad.Just because the boy just watched them quietly in the corner, he knew that he would never be the protagonist under the spotlight, he knew that he was at most a substitute for the person he cared about the most, he knew that he was clumsy and useless However, none of these can be a reason to be willing to be easily ignored by others.

Su Yang recalled Lin Ran's thin but firm back when he blocked the stick for him that day, and the desolate and bright blood on the white shirt-if he had known that he would die because of this, would he not have done it without any regrets? Hesitant to come forward?

"You hit me, scold me, hate me, I don't want to resist, and I can't resist. But if you are willing to give me a chance to explain, I will tell you that the person who should be jealous is actually not you, but me. "

No matter how much he bullied him wantonly in the past, Lin Ran never showed such lonely and sad eyes when he said these words.Who in this world could really understand him, who had ever really tried to understand him? ...

If in the end, I could muster even the slightest bit of courage to say "I'm sorry" to you, would you get some comfort before you leave?

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

When Fir Shan wakes up from her dream in the morning, the first thing she sees is the sleepy face of her lover propped beside her bed.About to hear the movement, Bai Yuze opened his eyes immediately, and the eyes of the two touched gently. "……woke up?"

Fir Shan nodded, stretched out her hand to quietly caress his face, and smiled. "Why are you sleeping here?"

"I didn't fall asleep all night, so I just came to accompany you."

"Insomnia?" No wonder, after all, something like that happened during the day.

"……Um."

"Fool. Why don't you come to bed? You have been sitting all night."

"It was late at that time, and I was afraid of waking you up."

The boy sat up and pulled him onto the bed. Bai Yuze obediently lay down against his shoulder, narrowed his eyes and yawned.

"Actually last night... I haven't fallen asleep for a long time." Fir Shan embraced him in silence for a moment, then said suddenly.

Wiping away the hot tears from the corner of his eyes with one hand, Bai Yuze turned his face curiously. "Why?"

"Thinking about a lot of things. About the break between you and your parents, Jin Ke's death, and... our future." The boy's originally black eyes glowed a faint blue under the sunlight.The tone is calm.

Bai Yuze unconsciously tapped his fingers on the quilt and couldn't help but stop. Qingjun's side face brewed a very complicated expression, and his thin lips were slightly pursed. "...Jin Ke, is he really dead?"

"...I don't know." Leng Shan closed her eyes halfway, and when she heard a long sigh from the bottom of her heart, she seemed lost. "But my life was saved by him."

The young man was not surprised when he heard the words, he just nodded slightly. "Actually, I almost guessed it. He will never let you go when you are in danger."

Even for such a dangerous person, there is a place in his heart that needs to be protected.

Bai Yuze stared sideways at him. "You must feel bad in your heart."

Leng Shan closed her eyes and embraced him silently, Bai Yuze could no longer see his expression.

"I... can't tell."

he died.But he still has the marks he gave on him.

Because it is a shame, it cannot be erased or forgotten.

He still remembered the chuckle that forcibly broke into his sight before he lost consciousness, reflecting the firelight, he was about to cry.

Jin Ke.you……

The arm holding him trembled slightly, Bai Yuze knew that he was conflicted and struggled in his heart, so he simply didn't say much to comfort him, and let him circle him quietly, and it took a long time before he seemed to calm down a little.

"...What are you going to do in the future?"

Bai Yuze didn't want him to ask a question suddenly, so he was stunned for a moment.Leng Shan didn't realize it, and distanced herself from him.

"I thought about it for a long time last night. After Jin Ke's death, Jin Huizhi will never let it go. His methods are much more ruthless than Jin Ke's. It is not easy for us to disappear from this world. I am afraid that we will continue to stay here More bad luck than good luck. Now you and your parents are in such a deadlock..." He paused, met his gaze with hesitation, and considered his words.

"If you have to give up your current life and leave all the people close to you... you, are you still willing to go with me?"

Bai Yuze raised his head in disbelief, and slowly, slowly opened his eyes wide.

The world is cut at such a gentle angle, the sun pours in like quicksilver, and all the gaps are filled.After solidification, it emits mirror light, reflecting a thousand worlds.

The focused and earnest eyes of the young man are close at hand.He suddenly understood what the deepest emotion was.

Before I murmured and said my wish, you stretched out that steadfast hand to me.Then all the consequences and responsibilities will be borne by you alone.

Always willing to leave the right to choose to me.Thank you. ...

In the end, he didn't give an answer, but just climbed up to his neck and pressed a light kiss on his lips.

Needless to say, I also know how difficult it is to make such a choice.One side is close relatives, the other side is true love.No matter which way the scales tip, the weight will hit hard on my heart.

We are indeed too young.Momentary anger may lead to regrets that will never be recovered in a lifetime.But I never wavered in my determination to be with you.Occasionally, I will be confused, and ask myself in my heart if things have become the current situation, whether it is worth it or not.

However, since we are living in the present moment, we should understand what we want at this moment, right?Even if you regret it, that's for the future.I don't want to make myself unhappy about something that hasn't happened yet.In love, the word "looking forward and backward" is often worthless.

My parents and I have a bond that is thicker than water. I believe that no matter where we go, the invisible thread that connects us will never disappear.But this person in front of me, this man who can say "I care" with persistent eyes, I can't lose the second time.

Leonardo Cohen has a poem, very short, only two lines: You go your way / I will go your way.

The title of the poem is "The Sweetest Short Song", which I think is appropriate.

In the future—who cares about the future?As long as you and I are alive, we are by each other's side, where we can catch with just one glance, it doesn't matter where we are.Maybe wait until the wind has passed, and then go back to the place where we first met.

We can walk along the camphor trees row by row, follow the entangled vines to travel around the small town, listen to the sea, watch the flowers, and climb along with our eyes.

It's all because the young man longs for a wandering heart, and I am willing to accompany him.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

Lin Ran's funeral was held three days later, and the rain continued.

There were not many people who came to the venue, they were sparse, and most of them were relatives who seldom interacted with each other.When Yao Lufang stepped into the door, he saw the Lin couple with frosty temples silently shaking hands with the visitor. Looking from a distance, the silhouettes of each other helping each other to wipe away tears were so lonely that it made people feel sad.

Fang Rubuzhu lost his beloved daughter, and before reaching Ai, his only remaining son also died of illness.How can someone who has never experienced that kind of pain understand.

He didn't go up to shake their hands, he just walked over to the huge black-and-white photo at the end of the room and stared at it for a while.The childish boy above smiled brightly, baring his canine teeth comically, looking carefree.

I don't know how long I stared at it, but when Yao Lu noticed the curve of her lips quietly opening, she was slightly stunned for a moment, and then her gaze lowered quietly.He felt that he couldn't stay in this oppressive atmosphere any longer.

Slightly anxious, he flashed into the corner and glanced at his phone, only to find an unread text message from Bai Yuze.He frowned and nodded, and the next second his eyes widened in surprise.

Leaving the venue in a hurry, the rain outside has not stopped.He looked around, and sure enough, he saw Ning Ziyue and Su Yang guarding the flowerbed not far away.

He understood that they felt shameless facing Lin Ran's parents, so he only sighed slightly after approaching, and didn't say much.On the other hand, Ning Ziyue raised his head and looked at him when he heard the movement, and said in a low voice for a while, "...are they okay?"

Yao Lu shook his head, but did not answer.Ning Ziyue's eyes dimmed accordingly.

"What are you doing?" Suddenly noticing the big Oxford bag on Su Yang's back, Yao Lu asked curiously, forgetting the reason for her hasty departure.

"... want to go out for a walk." The young man quietly put his hands in his trouser pockets, frowning slightly, as if he was not willing to talk. "Anyway, I can't stay here anymore. I can't go back to my home, and I can't rely on you to stay there. Besides..." He slowly turned his gaze to the entrance of the venue, and didn't say any more.

After all, I still want to escape, I want to forget.Those self-righteous and frivolous pasts, those unbearable pasts.

"Have you decided yet?"

The other party nodded slightly. "Well. The train is two hours away, and we should leave soon."

At this time, Ning Ziyue, who hadn't interrupted the conversation, suddenly stepped over and put a hand on top of his head.The two faced each other and were silent for a long time.Su Yang kept his eyes down from the beginning to the end, watching the raindrops falling from the pale gold cross on his chest.

"Alone outside, be more careful."

"……Um."

"Take care of yourself."

"I know."

"...If possible, don't come back."

Hearing this, Su Yang finally raised his head, the corners of his eyes were shining brightly. "...Damn it, do you have anything else to say??"

Yao Lu was no longer by their side at some point.

Silently touching the man's shoulder with his forehead, the boy murmured: "Come with me. Stay here, and you will die."

He put a hand on his shoulder, but shook his head.Not strong, but firm. "...I still have things to do."

"...There are still people who can't let go." Su Yang was surprised that he could still laugh, cold but not mocking.

Without waiting for Ning Ziyue to react to this, Yao Lu walked over from a far corner waving his mobile phone with a very bad expression on his face.

He diverts his attention for a moment. "……What's wrong?"

"Xiaobai and his concubine with advanced facial paralysis were lying in the hospital for some reason. I just called back, and something was wrong. It seemed that there was something else hiding. I have to go and have a look." He said Put away the phone and look up at the two of them. "You guys are done talking about me and me? Instead of being hypocritical at someone's funeral, it's better to roll to the train station and go to the train station where the rain is deep. There is more atmosphere."

"I don't need someone to send it to you." Su Yang said and glared at him, then he tightened his belt and turned around neatly, waving his hands pretending to be free and easy. "Where you should go. Don't worry. Labor and management will definitely live ten thousand times better than the two of you combined...."

Believe it or not.

The rain doesn't stop, but my heart remains the same.

The door of the ward was knocked twice, before Bai Yuze could say "Come in", the man had already dragged his recovering body dancing and chattering into the door.

"Honey~~~"

Bai Yuze choked on a mouthful of water and almost lost his breath.

"...I'm talking about you. The high fever has just subsided, why don't you go home and have a good rest and come here again? Didn't I tell you that you are fine, and you will be discharged from the hospital in a few days?"

"Didn't I just hear the good news, so I came here to announce the good news to you, my lady?" Xie Zhe hummed for a long time pretending to be wronged, but seeing that the other party was completely unmoved, he had no choice but to give up the trick. "If you don't ask, I can tell you directly. You must be steady."

"It just so happens that I have something to tell you." Bai Yuze didn't believe that any shocking news could come out of his mouth, so he calmly put the pen into the open diary on his lap and put it aside. "You talk first. I promise to listen without any hope."

"Miss, you hate it! If you continue like this, your mood will fluctuate~!"

"...I'll give you one last chance. If you have a fart, let it go, or you will be chopped off in minutes."

"Hey!!" Xie Zhe tried to get onto Bai Yuze's bed while pretending to wail, but failed. He was kicked under the bed board and rolled several times.However, even receiving such a cold reception did not dampen his enthusiasm for announcing the good news. After a while, a hand stretched out from under the bed, waving a piece of torn paper rhythmically.

"Move the big time move the big time~ Qiang Qiang! Congratulations to the winner of the 'Top Ten Campus Singers', Bai Yuze, who received the award on the bed~~ (false voice) Oh oh oh so handsome~~ Aze my の婚~~~"

Xie Zhe was making a fuss over there, but Bai Yuze froze on the bed, holding the award in both hands in disbelief. "This...is this really true?"

"Sister, can I still lie to you?" Xie Zhe took the opportunity to turn over and sit beside him, raised his hand to pick up a bunch of grapes from the fruit plate and gnawed. "Unfortunately, you are not the only one who won the championship~"

"Who else?" As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Bai Yuze realized that he was really stupid, so he immediately added with a smile: "It must be Yao'er, right?"

"My lady is smart. She is a little goblin who grinds people inside." He turned around in good spirits and took out a few pieces of music paper from his schoolbag, chattering endlessly: "You have been in the hospital recently, I don't know how popular our band is now. Everyone privately I have discussed it with me a few times, and I plan to hold a small performance at night without telling the teacher when you are discharged from the hospital in a few days. At that time, one or two hundred people will come. Although there are many ready-made songs, we are just starting out. There should be some original works to back it up. Last night I didn’t sleep all night and wrote a song, you can see what words to fill in..."

Speaking of excitement, Xie Zhe suddenly noticed the unusual silence of the people around him, and suddenly turned his head sideways, quite tentatively. "Why are not you talking?……"

Bai Yuze lowered his head so low that he couldn't lower his eyebrows slightly.Xie Zhe knew that this subtle expression change meant that he was a little sad now.So even more at a loss. "Why... aren't you happy? You don't want to perform in front of people? Then I'll immediately tell them no—"

"I'm sorry." The boy finally raised his face, his eyes were slightly red.He doesn't want to, but he has to break the vision and fantasy of the people in front of him at this moment in the beautiful and prosperous future.

"I'm sorry, Xie Zhe. Soon, Xiaoshan and I... will leave this city."

"Really sorry."

The author has something to say: