winter suicide plan

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When the ambulance came, Chen Shuning was lying on the ambulance with his eyes closed. The medical staff checked him quickly, and they were shouting: "Can you hear me? If you can, please respond?" I recalled that winter day again, he Wet clothes, cold body.My hands trembled, unable to calm down, Chen Shuning weakly circled my wrist: "It hurts...it hurts...it hurts..."

"I know, I know, Ah Ning, I know, let's go to the hospital." Tears rolled down unconsciously, flowing down his cheeks all the way, wanting to ask who he is, who can make him not hurt, My heart hurts too.

"Conscious, not particularly serious. There are blood clots in the vomit, and the smell of blood is very strong. He was hit, right? Looking at the wound on his body, it is difficult to judge the internal damage. I need to go to the hospital for a full-body CT."

The doctor told me a lot of professional terms, and he comforted me that it took so long for the reaction to appear, so the problem should not be serious. "But" slapped me again and again.But everything is not certain.

I waited in the corridor of the hospital again, the sharp lights dangled in front of my eyes, cut all my patience, and a needle pierced the disguised balloon that I was not afraid of.I covered my eyes and said the words I could only hear: "Chen Shuning, why do I like you so much? Why? Why can't you let me stay here!" A metal-like rough voice came out of my throat.

Who am I asking?Who can I ask?

I was in a trance for a while, and I fell asleep on the chair for a while, with tears drying on my face, and my clothes were sticky and stained with late night rain. When the CT came out, Chen Shuning's nose bone was contused, and he hit the ground, he must have had a brain disorder. He must have bumped into something in his stomach, and he bled slightly. The nosebleed also flowed into his stomach, and when it solidified, there was a blood clot.Holding the CT scan, I heard the doctor speak in a more relaxed tone, until he said: "It's okay, either spit it out or excrete it out, and it will be fine after a while. Concussion may cause dizziness and headache for a day or two, just pay attention .”

I was relaxed by these words, and my legs went weak for a while.I was actually thankful that Chen Shuning often suffered from dizziness and headaches, and he said that he got used to it, and he would be fine after a while.I went to the bathroom to wash my face, and the cyan stubble appeared overnight, and the eye circles were still a little red.Chen Shuning woke up with a headache and didn't open his eyes. If he couldn't open them, he would feel dizzy.He fumbled and grabbed my hand, and patted the back of my hand: "It's okay, I'm fine, you...kiss me, and I won't hurt anymore." I wiped away the tears that flowed from the corners of my eyes again, steady Keeping the emphasis of what he said, pretending to be nonchalant: "You lied to me, don't even think about it."

"Tang Fengxing..."

"I don't have to say." There was anger in my tone that didn't allow him to make demands wantonly.

"Tang Fengxing, I'm in pain...can you give me a kiss?" Chen Shuning's finger hooked mine, and the words came out through his dry throat.

This sentence is not like the ambiguity between lovers, nor is it intimacy.It's a sentence like he didn't dare to speak since he was a child, and he was cautiously afraid of being abandoned, so he said these words tentatively.

I grabbed his five fingers, held his head, pulled the curtain of the bed tightly, kissed his lips lightly, licked the bitten wound on his lips, the metallic taste of flesh and blood spread to the tip of my tongue, Tears rolled down my face and down my jawbone.

I wanted to wipe it anxiously, but it fell more and more, my shoulders began to tremble with crying, and my thumb touched his eyes and the wound on his forehead.I began to push hard unconsciously, as if I wanted to eat Chen Shuning, I traced his lip shape over and over again, for fear that he would suddenly disappear into my arms.He stretched out his hand weakly, brushed my eyes with his thumb, and wiped my tears with his bandaged palm.

He leaned on my shoulder: "Thank you, Tang Fengxing, thank you for loving me so much."

"I think I'm also qualified to say the word 'I love you' now."

"I love you, Tang Fengxing. I beg you to give me one more chance to defend myself, let me prove to you that I can transcend the world, transcend life and death, and you are the first person in my never-suicide guarantee." square."

"Tomorrow, after it rains, must be sunny."

I can't kiss him anymore, I hug him, Chen Shuning, why are you so painful, how can no one love you so much all this time?

Chen Shuning fell asleep in my arms, exhausting all his strength.I stood up and looked at him, took a few photos of him sleeping, looked at the photos in front of me, looked at Chen Shuning in front of me, I found that I couldn't look directly at Chen Shuning for a while, as soon as I saw Chen Shuning, there was a feeling Distressed and sad to cry.I decided to go out and walk around, from the footbridge to the flower shop where Chen Shuning worked, the LED lights did not turn on, the lights did not turn on.I stood at the entrance of the flower shop, and I could see the tables and chairs inside, wondering if Chen Shuning usually sits on them and works?

I went back to the apartment, took a shower, felt a little refreshed, and squinted for a while.I went to the office. At first, Li Jingyuan and his group pulled me along, and I just became a regular just like them.I went back and looked at the cases I had taken on, and my eyes ached after watching them. Some civil dispute cases are not difficult to say the least, but in the circle of lawyers, it is difficult to make a name for yourself.

Just after noon, a phone call came from the hospital: "Mr. Chen is looking for you. He doesn't look very well."

I happened to take a taxi there at lunch time. In the ward, Chen Shuning was still on the bed, showing no sign of waking up.I was wearing another black suit, Chen Shuning seemed to like it very much, but unfortunately I wore it today, and he didn't get up to look at it.The nurse brought me a piece of paper: "He woke up and made a fuss, maybe he was hysterical. He took the medicine next to him and asked me for a piece of paper, pen and paper, saying that he would give me a suit later. people."

Some crumpled paper was unfolded, and it was a "Not Suicide Guarantee" written in black and white. The handwriting was a bit scribbled, and some words were still illegible. Party B had already signed Chen Shuning's name, and Party A asked me to sign.The crumpled paper was wet with my tears, and I solemnly signed my name, as if we were signing a marriage contract ----- Today, Tang Fengxing and Chen Shuning are newly married, will grow old together, and will never be separated.

I held his hand, the bright white sun shone on the earth, penetrated the glass window lattice, I kissed his forehead: "You promise me your winter, your whole life, I want to accompany you through the winter , to spend a lifetime warmly."

"You're right, it's sunny today after the rain."

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Tang Fengxing's perspective