[Comprehensive] Teacher Songyang is always committing suicide

◆◇Bungo Stray Dogs◇◆

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Osamu Dazai is 20 years old now.

A young man whose motto is "suicide with freshness and vigor" is also committing suicide by jumping into a river in an ordinary way today.He opened his arms, took a deep breath of the warm afternoon air, and leaped gracefully into the water like a mermaid—and then thumped his head against a floating corpse below the surface of the river.

"Oops~"

The suicidal mood that was finally brewing was destroyed unbeautifully in this way.The young man crawled up to the bank with his wet body, sat on the bank and sighed, muttering some sentences that others could not understand.Then, because I was suddenly hungry, I went to the convenience store by the river and bought a box of octopus balls, and continued to sit by the river and sigh.

Then, he saw the floating corpse climb up by itself.

Probably because someone got entangled in a kimono that fell into the river while drifting with the river. The other party was wearing a dark red women's kimono, but the clothes inside had been soaked by the river water, and a large piece of pale skin was exposed on the back Come—is it a woman?

Dazai concentrated on eating his octopus balls with his head down, but he had already eaten the last one, and the other party was still lying there motionless.

"Miss, are you okay? Do you want to eat octopus balls? There are a lot of seaweed sprinkled."

No one responded.

Dazai walked around the river bank twice, picked up a branch, quietly picked up the other party's clothes, covered the half-exposed shoulders with a "sex", and then brushed away his long light-colored hair.There was some shimmering liquid on the man's hair, which became transparent and disappeared after drying in the sun.

He squatted beside this man and thought for a while, poking the last octopus ball and dangling it under the tip of the man's nose.After shaking for half a minute, the man slowly opened his light green eyes, staring at him and his octopus balls in a daze.

"Eat."

Dazai tilted his head to coax people.

The other party opened his mouth very obediently and ate it.The meatballs were bulging in his cheeks, so his face was classified as "pretty cute" in Dazai's aesthetics.The slow speed at which he chewed food felt like a patient who had been in a coma for a long time and was reacquainted with his body functions.

"The weather is so nice, is the miss jumping into the river too?"

Songyang actually didn't understand what the other party was talking about.The octopus balls fed to him by the young man could not be tasted at all with his tongue, which had never been in contact with other food except for the wine. It fell into the empty stomach, and he could almost hear a "gudong".

Losing even the clichéd "who am I where am I" thinking ability, he sat up slowly, and subconsciously wrapped himself in the only layer of cloth because of the damp and cold, without even distinguishing what kind of clothes that cloth was.

The young man in front of him—a boy?In short, he has a very young face, a tall and thin figure, and is a few centimeters taller than himself by visual inspection.Beautiful black hair and matching face, casual modern trench coat, white bandages around the neck and hands - injured?

no.I don't have any memory, and I can't even mobilize the emotions that I should have in this strange situation.The body is gradually able to move freely, but the brain seems to be dead, and it sounds like a rusty machine when it turns.

Because I ate other people's octopus balls, I want to say thank you.As a result, I could only make a mouth shape, but I couldn't make a sound at all.

The young man squatted lazily in front of him with his chin propped up, and was also looking at him curiously.After sizing up, the young man suddenly laughed softly: "You are such a embarrassed lady."

The young man went to the convenience store again, and when he came back, he carried a cup of steaming instant noodles in his hand. "Let's eat~ It looks like I've been hungry for a long time. It's lucky that I didn't die after soaking in the river for so long."

The eyes that seemed to be lazy and lazy were sharpened for a moment, and then they looked cold all of a sudden.

But it's just a moment.

"Still can't talk?"

Songyang bit off a section of noodles, and tried to open his mouth to make a sound.Or not.

"It's okay, it's okay~ Our family has a big sister who can see a doctor. Whether it's loss of voice or memory loss, I can cure you with a 'boom'."

As a result, the situation took a turn for the worse and quickly evolved into the current situation.Song Yang's hands and feet were bound on the operating table. In front of him was a neat and rational looking female doctor with short hair, holding a chainsaw in her hand.

"Dazai picked someone back again." The female doctor sighed, brushed away his too long bangs, and looked at the pair of empty pale green eyes, "Beforehand, my supernatural power is only for those who are dying. It’s effective for those who have it, but if you want to fully restore it to your original appearance, you must be half-dead first.”

That chainsaw didn't come in handy.Because during the injection of anesthesia, the female doctor keenly discovered the other party's super-speed healing and invulnerable physique.The beautiful eyebrows were slightly frowned, and the female doctor pressed the other's pale arm, and slowly drew a large tube full of blood, pouring it into a sealed glass container.

"How's it going?" Dazai's cheerful voice came from the door of the operating room, "I went out and bought some clothes for the young lady—and Dr. Yosano came to help me pick them out, too? Oh wow, help me pick up that one Bra——What do you think of this set of island style with Dr. Xie Ye? I accidentally bought a size too small, will it be over~~erotic~~"

"Miss?"

The woman called Doctor Yosano showed a suspicious look.She had just done a comprehensive physical examination for Songyang. Although he had a gentle appearance and a fairer complexion than ordinary people, he was undoubtedly a man.Uncovering the dirty women's kimono, you can see the smooth muscles covered by the body, which must have been exercised in years of fighting.

That Dazai would actually admit his mistake?This is really a rare and super interesting event.

"Don't come in, just put your clothes at the door."

A decision was made in an instant, even though this decision was somewhat unkind to a patient with amnesia.I said tens of thousands of sorry in my heart, but I really wanted to see Dazai embarrassing no matter what - this is that Dazai? ! ——Yu Xie Ye used surgical scissors to trim his long hair briefly, and took his own hairpin to help him tie up his long hair.

The feminine part of the long-haired young man is only limited to the face, so the cover-up of the body must be absolutely in place. She shook hands with Yosano and threw the super-work-cut island style sailor skirt into the trash can, and took a clean one again. The women's kimono with long sleeves, in order to cover the Adam's apple, even though it doesn't match the Japanese style, a black cloth collar is tied on.He didn't do anything, and even finished the women's makeup at the same time.

"Oh huh."

Satisfied, Xie Ye closed the compact.Although I don't know if the other party will violently kill people after waking up, but Songyang's state when he lost his memory was indeed very well-behaved, which made her feel at ease, but at the same time felt a heavier sense of guilt...

When she was taken out of the operating room, Dazai's reaction was so great that she was taken aback.

"...Oh, oh ho!!"

The black-haired young man covered his face with a snap, and immediately started rolling around on the ground.What, what kind of compliment is this from a 5-year-old child? If this is really a woman, Mr. Dazai, you will never appear on her invitation list.

"I don't know what to do." Spreading hands with Xie Ye, "I can't cure this person's amnesia and voice."

"It doesn't matter." Dazai said softly, "It doesn't matter if Miss loses her memory for the rest of her life, even if she forgets my boyfriend who loves Miss dearly, it doesn't matter at all. The rest of Miss's life will be borne by me, and Miss's eyes should only be taken care of." Looking at me alone, the lips of the young lady—”

Yoshino watched indifferently as the black-haired youth was kicked into the wall.If this person is not saved, he is a rotten person who takes advantage of others' danger.

The one who kicked Dazai into the wall was his colleague Kunikida Doppo who drove them back. After confirming the situation of Matsuyo in a low voice with Yosano, Kunikida took a notepad and a pen from the desk and handed them in. In the hands of Songyang.

"What else do you remember? Please write it down."

What else can you remember?

In the darkness where not even a ray of light can penetrate, the man's voice was gentle and quiet.

——Yoshida Matsuyo.

[Yoshida Matsuyo. ]

"Is that your name?"

Kunikida, with blond braids and harsh square-rimmed glasses, picked up the paper and looked left and right, "Yoshida Matsuyo?"

No, he thought silently, it was the name of someone the man liked.

For some unknown reason, Songyang nodded after hesitating.This beloved name is very strange to him, so is it okay to just occupy the magpie's nest without hesitation?He didn't know either.

"Can't remember anything except the name?" Kunikida immediately felt a headache after getting an affirmative answer. "Dazai, what is the purpose of picking up people back to the detective agency like this? Shouldn't they be handed over to a more professional homeless shelter?"

"No, because I bumped into the lady's stomach when I jumped into the river, there is a sense of romantic destiny~"

"Isn't it a sense of horror?"

"I want Miss to be healed in my smile, and then on a sunny day, hand in hand to die for love~" Dazai pulled the other party's fingertips under the sleeve of the kimono, "Miss's words will definitely satisfy my desire Right? Hey? Going to commit suicide together?"

Self-suicide...!

The heartstrings were touched by the completely unexpected key words, something real seemed to be grasped in the vast strangeness, and the long-lost sense of familiarity made Songyang burst into tears suddenly.

Even though he couldn't make a sound, Songyang still held the young man's hand and nodded excitedly.

"...Miss, Miss?" Dazai seemed to be struck in the head by the unexpected sense of surprise, "You... are you really willing to commit suicide together with me? Really?! I thought I would never hear such tenderness in my lifetime answer!!"

Songyang nodded again, and also smiled with crooked eyebrows.

"...Miss qaq—"

Kunikida: "No, I'm going to submit a letter of resignation to the president today."

Looking at that side with Yosano, the two exuded an aura of suicide enthusiasts that others could not understand, and covered their sinister smiles with a light cough.

When Dazai finds out that the person who died with him was not some beautiful young lady——

She walked briskly towards the door of the detective agency.Oh, the ultra-high-definition camcorder she bought the day before yesterday should be here soon. As the unsealing ceremony of the new machine, isn't it just right to record a guy's lifelong panic expression?