[Comprehensive] Teacher Songyang is always committing suicide

... Within today, the sixth young lady who struck up a conversation.

Dazai propped his hands on the counter, chatting enthusiastically with the young lady at the pharmacy counter. Between "Miss is also radiant today" and "Miss today's lipstick is grapefruit color No. 14, so it looks white", there is a sentence like "Do you want to kill yourself by taking sweet cough medicine together?"

The shopping guide of the pharmacy downstairs in his house showed a battle-hardened smile, put his fingertips against the forehead of the black-haired young man and pushed him away, and said with a sweet smile: "Our store manager said that we can't sell any products to Mr. Dazai." Drugs."

"Hey—then I really have a cold and cough cough cough cough cough..."

Song Yang quietly hid behind the electric pole in front of the drugstore, really embarrassed by Dazai's nonsense.Today he was wearing a women's kimono with blue flowers on a white background. Dazai still bought it after emptying his wallet, and he and Xiano provided a full set of light makeup services in friendship.Although it can't be said to be gorgeous, it has an elegant demeanor and a soft appearance after all. Occasionally, passers-by will look sideways and let out a soft cry of "oh hoo".

Regarding the fact that he had to wear women's clothes despite being a man, in fact, he also expressed his doubts to Dr. Xie Ye after his brain speed slowly returned to normal.

"Mr. Songyang, this is also the means you have to take to recover as soon as possible." The capable and neat female doctor held his hand, showing a look of "doing nothing but doing nothing." The report of the World Science Symposium said, The more people with amnesia are exposed to familiar things, the easier it is to stimulate the hippocampus in the brain, which is responsible for memory, which may speed up recovery—"

...Does that mean he used to be a transvestite or a pervert who collected women's clothing?

"Miss Songyang——" Dazai, who was ruthlessly rejected, ran back and wiped his tears with his sleeve like a schoolboy who had been spanked, "Sure enough, she still doesn't want to die in love with me! She won't even sell cough medicine Give it to me!"

[I'll go buy it. ]

Songyang took out a thin translation mobile phone from his sleeve, and quickly touched the screen with his fingertips to type.This machine was eliminated by the clerk of the Armed Detective Agency and given to him. It is said that Kunikida felt that his writing was too slow—"No need! You don't need to write such a long honorific!"—Forcibly Drag Songyang into the era of intelligence.

"Anyway, there is no headless horseman who can ride a black motorcycle in this city," said Edogawa Ranpo, who usually naps and eats snacks in the detective agency. "It's okay to use the setting of typing."

The idea of ​​using cough medicine to commit suicide was the way Dazai suddenly decided to commit suicide after studying the "Complete Suicide Manual" with him last night. "It's very chicken, don't you think, miss? The popular 'drink the cough medicine and jump like crazy' movement in the 80s, died in the extreme frenzy and excitement - and the most important thing is that the raw materials are cheaper, the second is It’s because the raw materials are cheaper.”

Song Yang put away his mobile phone and approached the young lady in the pharmacy.The little girl with playful makeup saw his face, held a small mirror in her palm, and quickly reapplied her lipstick.

"Welcome. What does this lady want to buy?"

[Hello, would like some cough medicine. ]

...I'm not at my wife's age either.Ever since I changed into women's clothing, I sometimes feel the mysterious atmosphere of secret comparisons unique to women...

"Ah, it seems that your throat is really uncomfortable. In addition to cough medicine, we can also give you some medicine to moisten your throat—"

[Just cough medicine, thank you. ]

"Okay. How much?"

Songyang looked at the cheat sheet that Dazai wrote in his mobile phone, "At least 160 packs of Anetong granules", and the pharmacy's flux is 20 packs in a box, so he needs to buy 80 boxes.

[10 boxes of it.You should have some at home too. ]

Although the dosage of 10 boxes has been greatly reduced, Songyang is still the medicine bag that was taken away under the suspicious eyes of the shopping guide lady.

"That's right, miss, so you won't be suspected. Next, we can find seven more pharmacies."

Dazai was in high spirits throughout the day.Since meeting Songyang, he has never asked him why he wanted to commit suicide, because this question is as meaningless as why people want to live.He just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having a beautiful lady accompany him step by step towards death.

The 7 pharmacies are not difficult to find. Except for the time when Dazai pestered him, "Why don't we lie on the tracks together!" when passing by the train tracks, before dark, 80 boxes of cough medicines had already been bought.

"Experts say that soaking these particles in something like plain yogurt will taste sour and sweet, and it will be cold."

Because Dazai said so, before going home, the two carried another heavy box of yogurt in their hands.Dazai's house is not far from the detective agency. It is a super super ordinary apartment building. After going up two flights of stairs and opening the rusty anti-theft door, it is an ordinary Japanese-style tatami room.For the past week, Songyang has also been staying at his house.

"It's so hot~ turn on the air conditioner."

Dazai saw the sweat in Matsuyo's temples, picked up the remote control on the table, and turned on the air conditioner.The two put the bought medicine and yogurt on the table in the middle of the Japanese room, stirred them together in a large bowl, and then drank them face to face without saying anything.

"Ah~~ Good ice. By the way, we still bought lactic acid bacteria that promote gastrointestinal motility-if you can't die this time, you will probably have to go to the toilet for a long time."

[Yes. ]

"To be honest, Miss Songyang and I don't seem to have time to get to know each other. It's a pity." The black-haired young man stretched his arms, and he fell on his side on the small table. His beautiful eyes were smiling, but the depths were calm and unwavering. Nothingness and despair, "But it's great to be on the last train of my life with Miss Songyang."

—This is the first time he said something like "the last train".

As if setting up a huge flag, starting from this time, Dazai repeated the phrase "the last train" to Matsuyo a total of five times.

The ephedrine contained in the cough medicine was eliminated by Longmai constitution before it volatilized in Songyang's body.This made Songyang, who only had a vague memory of his own body, unexpected. He could only watch the black-haired young man opposite him become more and more excited and unable to control himself——

"Ah, by the way, I'm going to jump wildly - rope skipping is also fine!"

Ephedrine itself is the raw material for stimulants, but without adding ephedrine, cough medicine cannot achieve the effect of dilating the trachea. After taking a large amount of cough medicine, Dazai was completely excited, jumping and knocking all over the room, accompanied by gahaha Hahahaha funny laugh.

"Hey, what's going on next door! It's so noisy!"

The neighbor next door was banging on the wall.

"Open the door! If you don't open the door, call the police!"

Probably the neighbor downstairs also ran over and kicked the anti-theft door of Dazai's house.

Songyang couldn't answer aloud, he typed Dazai on the phone but didn't read it, so he got up and hugged Dazai's waist quickly, preventing him from smashing his window glass with a golf club.

... Mr. Dazai!It caused a commotion, otherwise this time it would be fine!

"Ah~~Ah~~" Dazai was singing the bel canto, "Miss Songyang~~~~ is a cosmic level flat chest~~~"

...If he is a woman, this sentence is really rude!

"There is no end to the next door!"

The walls were almost knocked to the point of collapsing.

Song Yang grabbed Dazai's waist with one hand, and typed out a series of phone numbers on the mobile phone on the table with the other--with a wave of Dazai's hand, the whole mobile phone flew out.

The black-haired young man has a fighting foundation that doesn't match his physique. Fortunately, for Songyang, this little kung fu foundation is not enough to embarrass him.He couldn't find the phone, so he simply covered Dazai's mouth with one hand, and pushed him down on the table with the other.

The policeman with a baton kicked open the crumbling anti-theft door, and the goal was a scene of gender inversion: the beauty in a plain kimono pushed the man who lived with him on the table, and the way of restraint was so tough that he couldn't speak. He screamed and screamed, his feet were still kicking in the air.

……ah.This is a rare female dv?

"Stop beating! Handcuff both of them away!"

------------------------

"You, you look quite dignified and stable, how can you play around with Dazai!"

Kunikida looked like he was going to explode with rage, the little blond braids on the back of his head were straight up at an angle, and the end was still emitting steam.

Songyang was very unaccustomed to being scolded so harshly, and felt extremely aggrieved with his head bowed.He and Dazai were handcuffed to the radiator in the corridor of the Metropolitan Police Department. Dazai had just been slapped dozens of times by the policeman and poured cold water on him.

"You can't blame Matsuyo-kun either. Why don't you scold Dazai?"

Yu Xie Ye, who came over after receiving the news, hurried to speak for him.

"Is it useful to scold him?!"

"...It's useless."

Kunikida went to pay the bail, and the policeman who just poured cold water on Dazai squatted in front of them, and said earnestly: "Young people are very angry, you two should communicate well if you have something to say, and don't make trouble and walk where the neighbors call the police? Our police are also very busy."

Dazai seemed to be awakened, eagerly turned his head and said to Songyang: "Yes, next time we can try the quiet charcoal burning——"

Stepping Dazai's head into the wall with one foot, Kunikida bowed straight to the policeman: "I'm sorry for causing you trouble, we will discipline our members well."

"That guy Dazai has been messing around for a long time, why did you commit suicide?"

It was still Kunikida who drove them back.This man is like a hard-working nanny.

"You can't ask this kind of question." Dazai, who was sitting in the back seat, showed a very disapproving expression, and Yosano, who was also in the back seat, tore a piece of bread and blocked his mouth.

Songyang was typing on the phone, and the expression of the man driving next to him became a little unnatural: "Also... don't need to go into too much detail... I'm driving, just make a long story short." Songyang thought for a while, He frantically deleted text on the phone again.

[Because it feels familiar. ]

"... Huh??? Familiar with suicide?"

Dazai: "I want to go to the bathroom!"

[If this continues, maybe I can think of something. ]

"...It feels dangerous to say that. Is Yoshida-san's family or friends still alive? Ah, yes, you can't remember. But why are you so obsessed with suicide?"

Dazai: "I! Want to! Go to the bathroom! Toilet!"

[The body feels familiar spontaneously. ]

"???"

It seemed that his brain circuit could not be connected no matter what, the little braids at the back of Kunikida's head were tangled into a zigzag pattern.

Songyang put the phone back into his sleeve, quietly looking at the road illuminated by the headlights.He didn't retain any memory in his mind. The familiar feeling about suicide probably came from repeating this kind of self-destructive behavior again and again in the past. The body and muscles remembered this feeling one step earlier than the brain.

"To the restroom--"

Dazai's voice suddenly faded away.Yosano in the back row closed the car door gracefully, and in the rearview mirror, one could see Dazai rolling to the side of the road in a wretched state.Is it really okay to bully Mr. Dazai like this?Songyang scratched the back of the chair anxiously and looked back, seeing Dazai grabbing the roadside fence that was about to hit him, flipping nimbly in the air and landing, and trotting into the nearby tavern.